Tuesday, December 7, 2004

   Great... just great...

Oviously, if you are reading this, than you can figure out that Hakkai won my little character theme question. So things are changing slowly as I find stuff on the net. Problem is... I dunno if I'll be able to finish it before I lose my I-net. As for the rest of my post... eh... don't bother reading it unless you want to know. I don't know what I should type... to be honest... I've slipped. If you knew me before, you know that I used to mutilate myself at times. For some odd reason, I started again. I kept telling myself that I'd never do it again... but here I am wondering if I am ever capable of keeping my word to myself. SO... what is it that bothers me so much? Some of you know, but for those that don't... I shall post it eh? This is a long story, so BE PREPARED, but I'll try to shorten it some! Ok... so I'm posting my worst secret. Never thought I'd do this, especially out of fear of losing some friends, but... 5 years ago I began work at the Sonic in my town. I got the job with the help of an acquaintance from school named Kyle. As I continued working there, Kyle and I became good friends. As luck would have it, one day he and I had a bad arguement. One that tested our frienship and all. Well, afterwards we made amends, but... I must have held onto a grudge or something cause not too ong afterwards I started a rumor around school. RUMORS ARE BAD PPL!!! THEY WRECK LIVES!!! Cause that is exactly what it did to Kyle. What I said got twisted and warped and caught the ear of people it shouldn't have. One thing led to another and Kyle found himself without his girlfriend and his best friend and ended up having his mother disown him. Because of those factors, Kyle put a bullet through his head 3 days later... ............ ............ And... to this day, I am still feeling responsible for it. As if I am the one who pulled the trigger. This is the main thing that drives my mental state of depression. I just thought all of you should know that. There are more issues too, but that is the largest part of it. If you stuck around to read this... thanks. It's all I can offer. Later... Chasm Dragging my feet through another wasteland It seems that there is nothing here My life is barren, everything that was, dead... Where is this foreboding, desolate place? Is it my mind, my heart, or my soul? The source of this lifeless void, empty... Crossing the chasm of my broken world My feet are bleeding and growing ever weary The man before you, everything that he is, gone... Why do I act so ashamed, useless you ask? Is it my past, my future, or my present? The source of all my wretched pain, bound... Falling into the abyss of my sorrow My tear-streaked eyes send one last farewell An eternal spark, everything unique and beautifull, fades...

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Monday, December 6, 2004

   Ok... now to put my Digi camera to use... LOL

Well, for the longest time, people have been wondering whether I can draw or not. So I decided to take the liberty of my digital camera to give a preview of what is in store for upload when I FINALLY GET A DAMN SCANNER!!! *calms down with a sigh* Anyway, a little bit of bad news to tell you all. As of Tuesday, I am losing my internet capability due to financial problems. As soon as I am back on my feet, I will be back. THAT is a guarantee! So, without further adeu... here are some of my pics (a chara you know, and some you won't, :P) Koga (the pic requested by Lord Ru Ookami/Maxwell Demon) *of course I didn't draw his hands cause to be honest... I suck at drawing them* Priscilla Duncan (an original chara from a story Maxwell Demon, Tenchi Kumori and I started but never completed) Terissa (another chara from the story above) After work I'll post my poem... Later...

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Thursday, December 2, 2004

   What to type... OMFG what to type?... >.< ...

I can say that for now... I'm content, just for the simple fact of my previous post. However, it doesn't mean my life is getting all that much better. I still have my own mental state to contend with, friends who have their own problems to deal with, a financial crisis... and others... no more venting though. So now... I have a new passion for writing again and may go ahead and finish the story I posted the other day. So expect more of it very soon. It and the rest of my song. Also, if anyone who reads this knows how to post things like video files... please let me know. Lost Cause: Shattered dreams, broken memories It all feels so hollow inside Torn asunder by the waves of my thoughts Driven down into an abyss I can't contemplate Diluted emotions, distant feelings It just feels so cold within Shearing my humanity away piece by piece Fueled by my contempt for my fellow beings Drifting thoughts, sinking sanity It just feels so chaotic here Losing all I had once, lost for eternity Locked within, never to know anothers touch Eagle! Bald Eagle's Wisdom Includes: Swiftness Strength Courage Wisdom Keen sight Illumination of Spirit Healing Creation Knowledge of magick Ability to see hidden spiritual truths Rising above the material to see the spiritual Ability to see the overall pattern Connection to spirit guides and teachers Great power and balance Dignity with grace If you enjoy this quiz please rate, and I may do some more! Animal Spirit Guides ~ Which One Calls To You? brought to you by Quizilla

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Wednesday, December 1, 2004

   I'M A FINALIST!!! ............... ???

Finally! Something good to come my way! I opened my mail today when I got off work... and I got a letter from Poetry.com stating that I was a finalist in their competition yada-yada. So, my poem, "Request...", is now gonna be in the new poetry collection, Eternal Portraits. It also qualifies me to win the $1,000 grand prize or the $10,000 Annual grand prize... YAY ME!!! Here's my proof: I know I was always sceptical about my poetry, but... you know, I thank every single one of you out there who complimented me. I never really realized that my poetry could actually be that good. Especially since I just started writing when I made this site. I'm just completely surprised that my poems would be worthy to put in a compilation book due to their themes and stuff. *shrugs* Oh well, it's their book. That's it for now. Later...

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Tuesday, November 30, 2004

   Another day goes by... and another unfinished song...

I've made it through another wretched day in this so called, "life" and somehow managed to enjoy myself a little. My friend Maxwell Demon has loaned me his game Empire Earth (not a new game mind you but a game I haven't played before tonight) and I like it quite a bit. Anyway, as for my little question from before... the tally stands at: Hakkai - 3 Zechs - 3 Tsume - 1 Jet - 1 Keep in mind that this song is not something you'd expect at all coming from MY head, but... I wrote it and it disturbs me, yet is it a great song anyway. A New Heart: All my life I've felt so wrong I've searched and searched for the right song Dealt with pain Using smiles as my disguise Now that the smile is real, I ought to recognize Pre: What it is about you that makes me act so strange Now I'm sure that I never want this feeling to fade away To tell the truth, it seems like a welcome change I only hope that I'll be able to find the right words to say Chorus: I feel like I need you by my side Cause you've given me a new heart I'm in the clouds and I won't come down Cause your love for me is like a work of art You've seen the way that you light my face And it tears all my walls apart So I can feel what I feel for you And make the best of this brand new start The cold is gone Since I've paved a new path And I've rid my myself of all my feelings of wrath I never imagined That this would be Someday maybe you will help me see Pre: What it is about you that makes me act so strange Now I'm sure that I never want this feeling to fade away To tell the truth, it seems like a welcome change I only hope that I'll be able to find the right words to say Chorus: I feel like I need you by my side Cause you've given me a new heart I'm in the clouds and I won't come down Cause your love for me is like a work of art You've seen the way that you light my face And it tears all my walls apart So I can feel what I feel for you And make the best of this brand new start (I'm still working on the bridge, so I hope I'll remember to post the rest later) Pics of the Day: Me... since everyone wants to know...(at work btw) Maxwell Demon... UGH... smoking... Matt (a co-worker that I scared the hell out of today... LMAO) And my foreman Dave acting like a goofball...

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Monday, November 29, 2004

   OK... I mark my official return as of today!

Well, I'm back now. Worse for wear, but back none-the-less. I'll run around and visit my friends here on MyO and respond to all my new gb entries. Then I'll update my intro for all the new members of the OPG out there! As for me... if you wanna know, chat with me on MSN. If not, don't ask. Sorry to be so cold about it, but... And then one more thing to cover... I have a little question for the frequenters of my site. Which of these characters should I make the theme to my site correspond with in my next theme change? 1. Hakkai (Saiyuki) 2. Jet (Cowboy Bebop) 3. Tsume (Wolf's Rain) 4. Kakyo (X) 5. Akira (Samurai Deeper Kyo) 6. Zechs (Gundam Wing) Reason why I chose these characters you ask? Because they are the ones I share personality traits with from their respective shows. A Walk of Souls Fog surrounds me, clouding my vision As I take another hesitant step forward It feels as if I have done this forever Walking alone with no way of discovering my sanity Will the fog ever clear, to make this easier? I realize I have the power to disperse it Yet I never take the necessary action to do so I am lost inside more than I am outside The whole time I have been walking It has felt as though I was walking on embers Tired and in pain, my legs finally give Now all progress has ceased as I wallow in silence The fog drifts into darkness as my breath becomes visible The only light remaining is that of my soul It has burned for ages with pure intensity Now it dwindles, slowly succuming to the cold The only way out of this self inflicted hell Is to make the choice to stand again and continue But I have lost all will, the will to live on As all light goes out, the sound of crying fills the night There are many others out there continuing their walk Whether they are walking on embers too is up to them All I know as I fade away, is my suffering Hopefully others will make it through the fog

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Friday, November 26, 2004

   Happy belated Thanksgiving for you all... and happy early Christmas for yours truly...

I guess I can say I'm in a decent mood today, but no better overall. I spent the day with my mom, and we had our usual thanksgiving dinner (which is never normal mind you, since this year was crab-legs, fillet migion, and cocktail shrimp), then we went and saw the new Alexander movie. I'm not a movie critic, but I would give it a C+ as a score. If it would have been more historically accurate and not skipped some other important events, I would have ranked it higher... but... you know Hollywood... *shrugs* Then I just recieved my Christmas gift tonight as well. A digital camera! Alright! I've already taken a few pics of my apartment... I dunno, I feel like gloating for the first time in a LONG, LONG time, so tomorrow I plan on installing the program for my cpu so I can load the pics up on my site. SO... now I have a new thing to put in my posts... I guess... a pic of the day! Don't worry, I'll find plenty of useless things or pointless people to photograph... LOL! With all that said... g'night... The Moon: I dream wearily underneath a pale moon Tossing and turning in the sand As waves slowly and steadily brush my feet What kind of vision am I experiencing? One that frightens me so... I wake up screaming, as it echoes off the water This is just another night like the rest I have no idea what makes me feel so insecure Just another feeling to add to the rest I lie back down under that mysterious moon Maybe it's the reason I cannot sleep For it has been full for the past 8 days Suddenly I awake into reality, knife in hand The vision of a body, lying lifeless before me The blood slowly and steadily soaking my feet This is just another person like the rest Why do I feel so much different than before This is just another night like the rest... except for the moon Pics of the day: My place of employment- Johnny (co-worker)- My anime collection- North side of my living room- South side of my living room- My pet... "Pede" (actual size)-

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Tuesday, November 23, 2004

   Well... just a simple statement.

Since I am still currently typing on my story, all I'm gonna say right now is that I need to get back to it so that all of you have something to read soon. Later...

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Monday, November 22, 2004

   Part 1 of Episode 1(more to come later tonight)

"With the rise of anarchy and a baptism of fire, the 'Third Star of Atlantis' will shift it's position... bringing forth 'the beast' to envelop the world in chaos. There are many who are in synch with this star, and only one holds the power to cease the apocalypse. The light must be followed. Cause only then can the diamond be found among the crystals." ~Doomsday prophecy of Atlantis Episode 1 - Bloodlines 3215 BC It was dark. Shadows engulfing the scenery of a great city. Marble and granite structures as far as the eye could see all cloaked in the darkness created by an un-natural storm. Lightning struck in the distance to reveal a grand temple overlooking the rest of the metropolis. The architecture suggested that it was the meeting place for important people. Inside this building, many were gathered. All wearing fancy robes and clothing of the old world. One man stepped up to the center of the meeting hall. “The gods have forsaken us! Someone amongst us has betrayed them and now we all stand guilty for their crime. Atlantis is lost!” Another man stood up, “What do you mean lost? Our city has withstood many assaults, by both man and nature! What do we have to fear? It’s only a storm.” “A storm you say?…” the man at the center inquired. “This is a storm that will spell the end for our ‘invincible’ city. It has been raining for 36 days now, with no sign of letting up. Our walls are the only thing keeping the water out of the city. If we wait any longer to abandon our homes, we will be swallowed by the ocean!” “Areiacles, NO!” A man from a table of people in front of the gathering stated seriously. “If we just perform a sacrifice, all will be fine! We must show the gods that we truly are sorry for whatever it is that we have done to upset them. We cannot and will not abandon the city. What kind of example would it send to our enemies and allies alike if the entire populace of Atlantis were to flee in terror of a rainstorm? Appeasing the gods is our guaranteed way of survival.” Areiacles spoke up in his defense, “You are wrong senator! This storm is different, can’t you see that!” Areiacles pointed towards the clouds outside, “This storm has an evil aura within it. An aura of destruction. We are DOOMED if we stay here. A sacrifice will not help us. It is foretold that Atlantis will fall into the ocean when it’s third star changes position!” “I have already spoken with my advisors on this! The star is still in it’s original position, and has not changed. And for one thing, I am not too sure that the alignment of stars has anything to do with the fate of one city on our planet!” the senator debated. “I call that this meeting be concluded!” “You are sealing your own fate senator!” Areiacles shouted as he looked at the entire audience with contempt. “I can’t believe that you all are so ignorant that you’d be willing to throw away the lives of yourself and your loved ones for the sake of pride and reputation!” “That is ENOUGH!!! Areiacles, you are expelled from this court! Resist any further, and I will have you arrested and you will be used in the sacrifice to the gods instead. Is that clear?” Areiacles snorted in disgust as two armed guards began escorting him out of the meeting hall. As he and his escorts walked through the main entrance, Areiacles heard the senator who ejected him saying, “Round up those who are to be sacrificed, we will prepare the ceremony.” and then a gavel struck. The wind was getting harsh as a young man continued loading up supplies on a small boat docked along the wall that kept the rising water out of the city. The rain was in a constant downpour. A woman was at the side of the boat with another crate of food waiting. “You forgot one silly. And an important one at that I might add!” the girl said as she crossed her arms playfully. “Father sure is pushing us to get out of the city isn’t he?” the man said. “With good reason though. The storm seems to be getting worse. I hear Areiacles was trying to persuade the Senate to evacuate the city as well. However, no one is leaving, so my guess is that he had no more influence than our father on this. The senate is run by fools. Intelligent… but fools!” “Whatever you say Dianthe! All I know is that father wants us out of Atlantis tonight. Leave the rest of the city to it’s fate.” “Nicodemus! I never knew you could be so coldhearted! There are many in the city that deserve to be saved.” “Yes, but the fact is that the Senate wont let them be saved. We’re doing this without their consent you know. If we’re found out, we will be executed.” “I know, but I just can’t leave people behind like that. There are plenty of innocents that will die if we leave them in the city!” “Well, they all think that we’re insane and that the city is invincible. Maybe we should let them think that, cause it will only cause problems if we save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.” Nicodemus said as he grabbed the crate. “A prophecy that was written by the gods themselves foretold the destruction of Atlantis, yet nobody wants to believe it. They are all too ignorant.” “Well spoken Nicodemus.” said an older man with a full beard just graying at the edges. “The people of this city have fallen victim to the lie that their city cannot be defeated, even by the gods. The only problem is… that they believe in those gods to save them.” He said as hail started to fall. Right then, four others appeared. “Father!” Dianthe hollered as she ran to him. “I thought they had arrested you! Who are these people?” Dianthe’s father introduced the others, “This is Basil, Dyna, and Soterios. They are the children of Areiacles. And this…” he said as he pointed to a familiar face, “Is Areiacles himself.” “Good timing!” Nicodemus said happily. “Did they let you go father?” “No!” Areiacles said sternly. “I had Basil and Soterios free Thanos from custody by force. We need to get going. The storm will get worse very shortly.” “How do you know this!?” Dianthe asked demandingly. “Areiacles is a master astrologer!” Thanos stated. “I have believed everything he has prophesied for it has always come true. Finish loading the boat, we have little time!” “What about the people of Atlantis!?” Dianthe asked with a seriously concerned tone. “There shall only be two bloodlines that survive the cataclysm of Atlantia. When the ‘Dark Storm’ arises, the ‘Great City’ shall sink. These bloodlines must survive throughout history to protect the sacred prophecy.” Areiacles said as he handed a large scroll covered in a water-tight container to Thanos. “This way, when the ‘Dark Storm’ arises again, the chosen one can rise from it’s slumber and the third star of Atlantis can return to it’s rightful place!” “It’s just a bunch of gibberish father!” hollered Dianthe. “I believe we need to get out of Atlantis, but…” “HALT! You’re not going anywhere!!!” yelled a man on the top of the wall. He was surrounded by an entourage of armed troops. “We have specific orders to not let anyone out of the city. Doing so will make the gods angrier and jeopardize the success of the sacrifice!” At this, Thanos whispered something to Nicodemus. Nicodemus nodded. Areiacles turned to the captain of the unit. “You can save yourself and the lives of your men if you come with us!” “I’m afraid that my duty comes before my personal feelings Areiacles!” the captain said as he turned to his men. “Archers, prepare to fire!” “What are they planning to do? They can‘t kill us can they?” Dyna asked. Areiacles then turned to his children hastily, “Basil… you’re with me. Soterios, you protect Dyna always! And NEVER, I mean NEVER let that prophecy get into the wrong hands!” Soterios gave his father a brave nod as Dyna’s eyes began to water. Thanos looked at Nicodemus briefly, tossed the scroll to him, and pulled his sword. “Get this ship going! You four must survive, no matter the cost! Do you understand me?” “Father!!!” Dianthe hollered as Soterios stopped her from jumping onto the wall. Nicodemus pried the rope off the ship that held it to the wall, setting the ship adrift. She watched as Basil and Areiacles pulled their swords as well and turned to face the unit sent to kill them. Soterios and Nicodemus both began to row, pulling the boat away from the wall. “Kill them! Don’t let them leave, we cannot risk the gods wrath any further!” yelled the captain as his men pulled their swords and began to charge down the stairs toward the makeshift dock. The boat swayed in the rising waves as the scene of carnage played out before the four in it. A volley of arrows struck the side of the ship and the water, signaling that they had just passed the extent of the archers range. Dianthe and the others looked to the sky as a large bolt of lightning streaked from the sky and contacted the top of the senate building in the center of town. A weird shape in the clouds then formed. A shape they had never seen before. The clouds began to descend into the city as lightning struck all over. As a large wave rocked the ship and sent it careening down the other side of the swell, the four onboard saw the last view of the Atlantis they knew being besieged by a storm of storms and the sight of Thanos screaming something at them as a man behind him cut him down. As the ship rose on another gigantic wave, the view of the city had changed. Thanos, Areiacles, Basil and the men sent to stop them had all disappeared, along with the wall that was protecting the city from the rising ocean. With every rise on the waves, the scenery of Atlantis changed drastically. Dianthe, Nicodemus, Soterios and Dyna all looked on with shock as they slowly pulled away from the destruction. “All we have left to do… is head for the mainland.” Soterios said with a heavy heart as Nicodemus stared at the scroll case in his hand. Current Day A young man in his late teens rode down a dirt hill on a bicycle, letting gravity propel him faster. His medium length black hair streaming in the wind as the countryside of his island flew past him. He loved taking the shortcut to school, cause it was so thrilling to him. The street came up fast as he slowed down just enough to turn onto the sidewalk, around a small business building and continue down the hill cutting off a pedestrian in the process. “Hey buddy! Watch out!” the pedestrian yelled at the boy. The boy snickered at the event as the hill gradually became more level causing him to begin peddling again. He passed a road sign pointing in the direction of his high school, that read “Siantorros High, 1 mile ahead”. He pulled out his water bottle as he maintained a cruising speed and looked around at his town. Wow, this city is starting to grow. I remember when there was only about 500 people living here. Now there is more than 9,000! I can see how they say when the U.S. moves in, the economy attracts everyone. The boy shook his head. All around him was the vision of a small, but extremely busy port city. His island of Velba had just recently asked to become a territory of the U.S., and now that they had been accepted, business in his once small hometown began booming. One good thing about it though, is that all the stuff in the city was brand new. It was no longer boring for the kids who lived here anymore. They had a bowling alley, a movie theatre, numerous fast-food restaurants, a small theme park, and some other things of interest. He felt something tug him backwards and heard a small crash and instantly felt lighter. Oh no… my books!!! He turned his bike around as a car passed him on the road. “Man, talk about luck!” he said as he took off his book bag and noticed the broken strap that kept the pouch shut and bent down to collect his stuff. I haven’t been very lucky lately, which is weird cause I’m usually the one Lady Luck smiles on all the time. He thought to himself. At that moment another car drove by, but this one stopped and honked. “Khahrei!!! What are you doing? You better hurry or you’ll be late for school!” hollered the driver. “Late? What do you mean? I’m always EARLY!” Khahrei responded as he looked up at the car. He recognized the person behind the wheel and sighed. “You know that Sianna! Why do have to start giving me crap this early in the morning huh?” “Because I can, and because it lightens my day!” Sianna said as she laughed for a second. “Why don’t you just toss your bike in the back seat and I’ll give you a ride the rest of the way. How’s that sound?” “You… going to school?” Khahrei asked as he raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “That’s not like you.” Sianna smiled as she said, “Just get in stupid.” “Sure, whatever you say ma’am.” Khahrei exclaimed with a salute as he tossed his book bag to her and picked up his bike. As Khahrei slid his bike in the back, Sianna spoke again. “You know Khahrei, you should really invest some money into a different form of transportation.” Khahrei just stuck his tongue out at her as he climbed into the passenger seat. “You do know where to go …right?” Sianna gave him a serious look of ‘don’t mess with me’ as she began to accelerate. To be concluded... Sesshy pic of the day:

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Sunday, November 21, 2004

   Don't know what I want to write, but I'll just write something eh? -_-

Alright, since I was asked by a few people to post, I guess I should post huh?... Right now my life is getting better overall, but my own emotional state and mental well-being is not showing that. I don't even know why I feel like typing this stuff in my post at all, but I am so bear with me. I feel as if I have reached my wits end on some issues. Dealing with people in society just isn't something I can handle with a clear mind anymore. I'm so tense everywhere I go, as if I expect something to go wrong, that it just causes me to loose my temper easily. Which by the way is not like me at all... I'm not known for having a temper. Yet I catch myself being prepared to duke it out with fellow employees at work for simple things (even though I have yet to do so), and just get upset at small details with others. One thing is that I can't shake the feeling that my life is too busy to NOT be going anywhere, and that is exactly what is happening. I am envolved in numerous things (writing stories for my game and anime ideas, working at a place I get no respect at, falling behind in bills, doing things for my mom, trying my best to stay sane, etc.), that I just feel like I should be making progress. But no..., nothing is set in concrete. I honestly feel like I am doing the stuff I am doing in vain. Like it has no purpose, no meaning, no possibility of success. So... when I say that I want to free my mind of some of these things, nobody pays attention. My words were pointless. So... from this point on, I will be concentrating on the things I want to do, and nothing else. If those people who are involved in something with me don't like it... tough shit. I'm tired of feeling like I have something I NEED to get done, but things have to work out for them to be worked on. So... with that, I will be posting some parts of a story I have just created about a few weeks ago, maybe less than that... dunno. I have yet to give it a title, but I think the plot will work out pretty well... I hope. Here's a teaser(it's a prophecy in this story): "With the rise of anarchy, the 'Third Star of Atlantis' will shift it's position... bringing forth 'the beast' to envelop the world in chaos. There are many who are in synch with this star, and only one holds the power to cease the apocalypse. The light must be followed. Cause only then can the diamond be found among the crystals." Let me know if you want me to post the story! It would mean a lot to me to know you're interested. But it doesn't mean I'll allow you to walk away with my ideas either! Took this quiz when I stopped by AniFreak's site just a few moments ago... I like the name I got :) My pirate name is Capt'n Tripp "The Invincible" Cutlass. Take Ahoy! The Pirate Name Generator today! Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

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