Monday, November 1, 2004

   Forgot to set my clock!

Hehehe, I feel like a dunce now. I forgot to set my clock back, so I was about to go into work an hour early! :P No way in hell they deserve that! So, now that I have an extra hour on my hands, maybe I'll go ahead and post everything I meant to say in the last post. OK, I have to say right now that I am a firm believer in spirits and spiritual abilities. So, if you can't handle any of that, read no further than this today... Saturday was extremely wierd for me. Of course not just me, but for a large part of the group of friends I hang out with. The day went somewhat normal for awhile, and then after Tenchi, Ru and I returned to Ichiro's house (out in the boonies) from getting stuff at MickeyD's, things got interesting. We had a small discussion about things, then went into out little welding shop that Ichiro has at his place to meditate in the dark around a fire in his wood burning stove. After about 10 minutes, some of them went outside and Tenchi and I were left inside. Then the fire began acting all wierd. As if it was flowing one direction before, and then it died down real low and flowed the other way. I got this stange feeling in my heart, as if I was in danger and Tenchi felt it too. Well, the others came in saying something was happening outside, so we went out to check on it. As we were walking down the road, I noticed some form of energy or spirit form moving through the woods on my left, while Tenchi saw something to his right. I don't think I had ever sensed such a strong aura before. At least not one with such malice within it. Everyone in the group was on edge, as if they were going to have to fight for their lives or something. Normally I can't even sense spirits, but for some wierd reason, it seemed as though this one was after someone in our group. Well, after a 15 minute hunt, we found the source. None of us could see it directly, but the aura of it was so strong we could sense it. We followed it to a big spruce tree and surrounded it. Then, things got really wierd. It attacked me as I attacked it, and I still have a physical injury from it. That's how I know I am not lying about this. When I attacked, I used my left forearm to push aside a branch of the tree so I could attack it... and it felt as though I was stabbed in the palm of my left hand (where even right now, there is this strange red mark in the center of my palm). Everyone then followed it to another tree where we all attacked at once, and I guess either trapped it in that tree or something cause the aura dispersed. On the way back to Ichiro's house, my hand began to feel as though it was burning, but it was cold to the touch and had lost a lot of color. After a little recouperating, we headed home in Tenchi's car. On the way... we hit a deer. Two doe's ran if front of us and a buck ran behind us. We ended up hitting the second doe... poor thing. And the hard part was that we had to do what the law requires us to and finish it off so it wouldn't have the chance to stumble back into traffic. During this whole time, my hand still felt as if it was on fire. We got to Tenchi's place... got the police report filed, and then headed to my apartment. Everyone except Ru left, and I had an exorcism performed... YES, you read it clearly. I had to... I didn't want to feel like my hand was on fire like that. So... we used the Buddhist form of exorcism on my hand, and cured it I guess. Even though the physical injury still remains, the wierd stuff is gone. That's about it, now I do have to go to work... look forward to a poem tonight. Later...

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   OK... busy weekend... and a litte laziness ; )

My weekend was terribly busy... more than usual, and then there was the fact of a few wierd things on Saturday. I'll go into detail later. What I'm wanting to post right now, is that when I get home tonight, I'll make my rounds to everyone who has signed my guestbook and all the friends who have updated. Then I'll update the list of members for both groups I've started, that way the member list is up to date. Another thing to mention is the requests for art. Ru: I've got Koga completed now. Once I scan it, you can have it. Mai: I'm still thinking of a good way to draw Sasuke... he deserves a good pic. Zach: It's still gonna be awhile. Maybe I'll need to look into the show before I draw it. With all that out of the way, later...

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Thursday, October 28, 2004

   Coworker trouble... and the usual other things...

This definitely describes me today! This isn't necessary, but I feel the need to VENT! My day this time wasn't all that bad, but it was a Wednesday (I hate wednesdays!) which basically causes stress just cause... However, I seemed to have found out how much of an illogical person I work with. I used to have some respect for this guy named Sean I work with, but time after time recently, he's been giving me reasons not to respect him. First of all, he's a devoted Christian (WHICH IS NOT A BAD THING), but it causes him to see things in one frame of mind and not be open about some things. Which brings me to the biggest reason of loss of respect for this guy... his mind set. He is a close minded person, and is so set in his beliefs that he can't seem to understand WHY anyone would believe or have ideas of another way. OK... here's the low down... I have two friends (no names mentioned here) that are bi-sexual, and I expressed this to him (with no names mentioned). So... he goes off telling me that they are choosing the wrong path, and that they are sinners, and I shouldn't act as if it's okay for them to be that way. I told him my beliefs on the subject... which are: 1.I'm am not someone who judges people by their choices 2.They can make the choices they see fit to make 3.As long as the person has a good heart, why can't you allow them to be themselves? 4.Your beliefs apply only to you, because you believe in your beliefs the way you believe in them, and their beliefs will be different from yours 5.If they truly feel the way they feel, why should you toss them aside as if they are less worthy of ANYTHING that you are? They have a soul, just like you... and they try to live the best they can, just like you... 6.Don't go any further than this, you'll get on my bad side RRREEEAAALLL QUICK... Then, today... he decides he's gonna try and be intelligent (wrong move for him :P ) at work. Well, there was an order I needed to get ready for a customer (if you don't know yet, I work at a lumberyard) and for that to happen I had to use a forklift to lift some lumber off of what I needed to get. The problem was, where the stuff I needed to get was at, we had gotten a forklift stuck a few days earlier due to all the rain... so we needed to find a way to make it so this time I wouldn't get stuck. So I start searching for a few boards to place over the wheel ruts where the previous forklift had gotten stuck. He decides that it would be best to toss them across the ruts rather than lay them inside of the ruts instead... (bad move btw, physics don't work like that when dealing with machines :P ) We argue about it a little bit, and I give up so that way I can proove his mistake, and I allow him to lay the boards the way he wanted... sure enough... forklift gets stuck... which made me very angry. >.< After 20 minutes, with the assistance of another lift, we got it pulled out, and I had a little discussion with Sean... He needs to listen to me a little more than he does, since I've been working there for 3 years now, and he's been there less than 3 months... I know what I'm talking about... ALRIGHT!!! MY VENT HAS FINISHED!!! Request: Gently drifting, floating Through a river of blood My body is shredded & torn Nothing can redeem me now I have lost too much, forever A soul that's buried six feet deep Freely wandering, roaming Over hills of tortured thoughts My mind is twisted & warped No one can save me now I have said too little, forlorn Emotions that once were, locked inside Violently staggering, falling Into the void of my conciousness My soul is tainted & stained Nowhere seems my only hope I have felt nothing more, lost Humanity never to see the light of day again I do not belong here anymore Someone end this... My Quote: "Being honest with yourself is the first thing to do when soulsearching... only then can you find the way to help yourself..." Morbid Thought of the Day: Vlad "the Impaler"'s castle after a meeting of his top people... hehehehe! *evil grin*

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Wednesday, October 27, 2004

   Yackity yack....

Well, numerous things to talk about tonight I guess... I began collecting a new manga series (new for me at least) called "Arm of Kannon" and I think it has a really awesome story so far. I have the first two volumes and the plot hasn't developed very much yet, but shows a lot of promise. One thing about it though is that it is a horror, action manga. So therefore it is extremely gory. This series is definitely deserving of it's parental advisory warning as well for it is full of adult vocabulary, violence, gore, nudity, gruesome images (other than gore, ex. monsters), and a complex storyline with many taboo subjects... if that isn't enough, I don't know what is... Then, I am working on an anime picture of myself, and I am taking my sweet time on it so that way I might have a worthy picture to submit someday! I have no idea when that will be, but hopefully soon. As for the other pics: Ru: I plan on getting started on it soon, alright... I just need to find some more time for myself first. Poison Needles: I just got your request today... though I'm not too sure how well I'll do, I've never seen Noir. The rest of you: It's an open slate! I'll just have to find the time to draw it for you and then find a scanner to load it! THEN, there is the fact that I am trying to deal with certain issues with another approach... things weren't working for me the other way, and it made me really messed up (which I still am, but I'm giving it a shot)... only certain people know or can figure out what I mean by this, so... don't worry about it, it was something to type! Kiddy grade pic... Guilt: I've always felt so alone Since that day you left this earth I don't know why I think about it, time and time again It makes me so hollow within, I can't stand the pain This guilt goes deeper than bone Leaving me with sorrow and little worth A path I feel I've traveled before, a place I've already been It just grows inside me, swelling, slowly becoming a stain It makes my heart sink like stone Weakness and isolation is all I've given birth Nothing I can do, will wash away this horrible sin It's festering beneath my skin, now my life begins to drain My Quote: "Every moment you waste is precious time that you could use for a greater purpose"

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Monday, October 25, 2004

   A poem stemed from a show... guess it!!!

My day was slow, uninspiring, and boring... completly and utterly!!! and... I LOVED IT!!! It's nice to just have a day where you can relax and do what your heart desires, when you want to do it. Of course I had chores to do (which technically I'm still doing now cause I procrastinate), but it all worked out in the end. My timing at the end couldn't be any better. Here's a pic of one of my favorite bands... Avenged Sevenfold: And then their site:www.avengedsevenfold.com The Birth of a Dragon: Far off in the distance An image of a man can be seen He carries a sword of swords And his eyes burn with that of fire A simple child stands alone As flames engulf the village he grew up in He then takes up a sword of his own And stands ready to face this man The boys eyes meet those of crimson red And yet he does not hesitate Even though this man seems all powerful The the man speaks with a deep tone "You've seen what I am capable of And yet you still raise a sword against me?" The boy just stared into his eyes Giving the hint of defiance "Very well then..." the man says As he lowers his sword and turns "You shall be my pupil... what be your name?" The boy soundly states, "Akira!" This is just the beginning of the story A rivalry forms from this, between that of Demons & Dragons Though the Dragon may be blind, The Demon will notice his resolve... Oh! And one more thing... I realized the other day that if you highlight the X that deletes friends from your list... you can see the number of member they are. Like as in they are member number 5000 out of 56,000... blah blah blah... Later...

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Sunday, October 24, 2004

   Well... some interesting things for the right people...

Yesterday was interesting... for me at least. I went to a battle reenactment for the Civil War. It was the 140th anniversary of the Battle of Mine Creek just south of Pleasanton, Kansas. It tuns out that this battle was the larget one in Kansas and was also the 3rd larget Cavalry engagement in the war. But... few have heard of it! The History Channel was there to film the reenactment and tell the story of Mine Creek. The show on it will be on the History Channel on November 15th at 9AM and 9PM... if interested, I suggest you watch. Here's an absolutely AWESOME pic of Kenshin when he was Hitokiri Battousi, I got it from www.fanimenation.com Barefoot: My heart has become cold And I stuff the tears down within I'm am no longer human My blood is frozen... They look at me with a fearless experssion Just to mask the hate they hide inside What have I done to them? I am only a child... Is there some sort of repentance I must make For them to be satisfied? I walk alone in the cold No one to liven my spirit Am I even existing anymore? My soul is lifeless... I pass many on my journey, they turn their shoulders I am treated as an outcast For something I never did Why do they hate me so? Am I not supposed to be one of them? Doesn't a soul reside within me as well? Alone in my journey I find something A small entrance to a place not known Feeling curious and hopefull for the first time My heart beats again... I take a step inside, barefoot in the snow There is a man, frozen in time, stiff He too was wearing no shoes On the wall was an inscription "Those who walk barefoot, feel the pain of the world They are not human, they are tortured beings" Shocked at this, I again become cold I have now realized my destiny I don't exist, no one can love me My blood is frozen... I tread off in search for something else, alone The man's words playing through my mind I look at my feet... Is it where these take me that make me this way? Am I the source of my suffering? I thought to myself, "maybe I should find some shoes!" I also just realized I have 100 GUESTBOOK SIGNINGS! O.O

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Friday, October 22, 2004

   I finally got the song I wanted on my site!!!!

I now have the song, "Alone", the 2nd ending theme from Saiyuki on my site!!! It's an mp3 though, so if you have a dial up modem, it'll take a long time. It's worth the wait, but... you may choose to just leave without trying to listen, I don't blame you! At least I finally have it though. Gotta go... have things to do and ppl to scare! :)

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   Just... stuff...

WOW, I went to the store only about an hour ago, and I FORGOT MY RAMEN NOODLES!!! GRRRR!!! Oh well, I'll pick them up on the way home tomorrow. Ok... here's a question: Should I get a pumkin to carve this year, and if I do, what kind of anime pic should I carve into it? Elements of the soul: Frozen conformity, Takes everything I have left Lifeless anarchy, Replacing that which I hold dear Dead humanity, The description of what's inside Burning rage, The only thing still within me Spirited agony, Consumes my soul, tearing it asunder Living pain, My heart is now unreachable Flowing deceit, Like water, you washed away my emotions Bland turmoil, Nothing else is new, I've been through it all Surviving love, It is lost to me now, please let me be My Quote: "Knowing where you came from can spare you a heartache or two in the future... look within and discover yourself" Morbid Thought of the Day: Let's say someone used a sword to stab someone through the throat, pinning the victim to the wall and left the sword there. How long would it take for the body to rot off the sword?

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Thursday, October 21, 2004

More anime with my grubby hands on it! hehehe...

Ok... over the last weekend, I purchased some more anime *slaps self* YOU MUST CONTROL YOURSELF KIGEKI!!! (btw, for those of you who don't know, Kigeki is my Japanese name I bestowed upon myself...) My purchases: Chrno Crusade, vol.1 Inuyasha, vol.23 Peacemaker, vol.1 Wolf's Rain, vol.3 Ok, next up!... ummm I'm supposed to have a date this up and coming weekend (which was technically meant to be last Sat. but that was too soon a notice). I can say that I am positively nervous, but... I am still waiting for a response back. If you want to know anything, then ask, if not, I won't burdon you with info on here... And the GOOD NEWS!!!... due to that little event mentioned above, I have quit mutilating myself *gawks back at those to whom this is new information for and whispers to self "don't look at me like that!"* for reasons I think to be for the best. However, I will still see the doctor on Nov. 2nd. Onto my poem of the day... Judged Beliefs: A fearless man Stands before a jury His only crime was love Love for a life that none understand He stands accused Of taking the life of men Those men in his eyes were sinners All of them born into a world that breeds them The gavel strikes And the man is carried away To live another form of life A life that is sheltered from the rest of his kind He thinks to himself All of us are the same If I am to be put away Then let us all be damned as well, for I was righteous Yet they call him a murderer When all he did was stand up Living bushido in todays world Is like living the life of a heretic, a blasphemer He sits in his new cage Meditating on his past He knows he has no regrets And he finds a peace in this new home, one that can't be broken My Quote: "Why believe in a society that is nothing but lies... stand up for the things you believe in, only then will they be realized!" Morbid Thought of the Day: A shovel + a few recently dug graves + a little time = room decoration! :)

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Wednesday, October 20, 2004

   Poem, and some news...

Okay... I've been doing a lot lately, other than Otaku, and I feel as though I need to get back to the things that are on my routine. Now that the Otaku Poetry Guild is on it's feet, I'll be on everyday again... yay me huh? For those that want to know, my psychologist session is on hold again, this time till November 2nd. GRRRR!!! I must have some sort of reputation or something. Anyway, I'll leave you all with a poem since I gotta get to work now. I'll edit the members of the poetry guild when I get home tonight. Tainted Reflection: Treading through another nightmare I close my eyes to ignore the sight This pain continues to fester inside And just sits there as it starts to rot I look at myself in the mirror And wonder what is it about this shell That seems to take so much and keep going Does it have some sort of protector, a guardian? I am one man, nothing more, nothing less Faults and failures, successes and triumphs These are what make me me, my essence But there is a darkness inside... getting larger What is it that is consuming my soul? Can I fight it, can I beat it? Or will it take me to a place I dare not go? I now realize my reflection is hollow, tainted Now I open my eyes, to a world that shares that image Deceit, despair, suffering, and pain all around me Have I given in to this on my own, or was it forced? Something will need to change, I will make it happen Watch my reflection... My Quote: "Only you can change yourself... and only you have the power to do that. If you want something to get better, take the steps to make it happen..."

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