Tuesday, December 7, 2004

   Great... just great...

Oviously, if you are reading this, than you can figure out that Hakkai won my little character theme question. So things are changing slowly as I find stuff on the net. Problem is... I dunno if I'll be able to finish it before I lose my I-net. As for the rest of my post... eh... don't bother reading it unless you want to know. I don't know what I should type... to be honest... I've slipped. If you knew me before, you know that I used to mutilate myself at times. For some odd reason, I started again. I kept telling myself that I'd never do it again... but here I am wondering if I am ever capable of keeping my word to myself. SO... what is it that bothers me so much? Some of you know, but for those that don't... I shall post it eh? This is a long story, so BE PREPARED, but I'll try to shorten it some! Ok... so I'm posting my worst secret. Never thought I'd do this, especially out of fear of losing some friends, but... 5 years ago I began work at the Sonic in my town. I got the job with the help of an acquaintance from school named Kyle. As I continued working there, Kyle and I became good friends. As luck would have it, one day he and I had a bad arguement. One that tested our frienship and all. Well, afterwards we made amends, but... I must have held onto a grudge or something cause not too ong afterwards I started a rumor around school. RUMORS ARE BAD PPL!!! THEY WRECK LIVES!!! Cause that is exactly what it did to Kyle. What I said got twisted and warped and caught the ear of people it shouldn't have. One thing led to another and Kyle found himself without his girlfriend and his best friend and ended up having his mother disown him. Because of those factors, Kyle put a bullet through his head 3 days later... ............ ............ And... to this day, I am still feeling responsible for it. As if I am the one who pulled the trigger. This is the main thing that drives my mental state of depression. I just thought all of you should know that. There are more issues too, but that is the largest part of it. If you stuck around to read this... thanks. It's all I can offer. Later... Chasm Dragging my feet through another wasteland It seems that there is nothing here My life is barren, everything that was, dead... Where is this foreboding, desolate place? Is it my mind, my heart, or my soul? The source of this lifeless void, empty... Crossing the chasm of my broken world My feet are bleeding and growing ever weary The man before you, everything that he is, gone... Why do I act so ashamed, useless you ask? Is it my past, my future, or my present? The source of all my wretched pain, bound... Falling into the abyss of my sorrow My tear-streaked eyes send one last farewell An eternal spark, everything unique and beautifull, fades...

Comments (8)