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• jyuyushisanada
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• hanij
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Birthday
• 1983-05-02
Gender
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Male
Location
• Paola, KS
Member Since
• 2004-08-14
Occupation
• Freelance writer, poetry and novels/A couple other things...
Real Name
• Call me Hakai ~ "The Destruction of All", and I thought it ironic since Hakkai is my fave chara in any anime series. I found out Kigeki means "comedy" so I had to change it.
Personal
Achievements
• Many things, especially helping get the Batsuzoku no Dragon off the ground.
Anime Fan Since
• I'm a fan... that's what counts!
Favorite Anime
• Explore my site, you'll find it.
Goals
• To be a well known writer of some sort, maybe for an anime series someday! *grins hopefully*
Hobbies
• Many forms of writing, drawing on occasion, collecting anime, and Martial Arts
Talents
• Following Bushido and I guess I could list poetry... *shrugs*
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Thursday, July 28, 2005
...lost... (warning: self pity ahead)
Hmmm... I really have no good news to talk about at the current time. I'm having trouble getting a job, i'm bored out of my mind, and I'm becoming seriously disturbed. As for the later part, what else is new eh? I could always get my job back at the lumber yard, but that feels so wrong to me ya know? I mean c'mon! I quit cause of the BS there, and now my best option is to swallow my pride and take it in the ass for the people who forced that BS on me? I don't see that happening, but...
Other than that I've been trying to write, but I really don't feel good enough to do so. It used to be my escape from things, you know, to put my thoughts down on paper... but now, I'm not so sure. Things in my life have changed so drastically in such a short amount of time that it is bewildering to me. All my friends are having serious problems or life changing events happening in their lives right now too, so there really isn't anyone to talk to. Not like I talked much before anyway, but it helped none-the-less. So... now I've taken to talking to myself instead. ^_^ Humorous isn't it? HA...ha...
Well... hmmm... *thinks*
Where did I go wrong? I must be weak... yeah... weak. I try and try and make everything fall apart. Where's the glory, where's the satisfaction? Where is the happiness? I'm devoid of feelings now, and falling further. I need help again, and I don't want it, yet I do... It's hard to explain. $$$ sucks! Emotions suck! Society sucks! Everything fucking sucks! Except friends. Friends matter to me more than anything. More than family, more than myself. As long as they are here for me, I am here for them. They are my shrinks, my crutches. I would have gone completely insane long ago if it wasn't for them. Now... no one is around. And I'm slowly slipping into dementia. Whee... ^_^!
So... for those of you who know me. Welcome to the full circle of my mind. I can feel good, but I never really feel better. If you're my friend, feel free to leave me a comment. Sometime soon, I would love to chat again. But for now... I get to wallow. So, off I go. Later...
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