Saturday, April 5, 2008

Help.
Mood: I hate everything.
Listening To:Blink 182::I Miss You
Watching: Invisible
Eating: Beef jerky.
Reading: ::
Evaluation of my Day:
C

I didn't have a good week.
I'm not going to drag it out, but I' having problems with Dakota.
He's not himself, like on Friday, it was nice and sunny out, but instead of wearing one of his nice shirts, Dakota wore this long sleeved black monster he dug out from his closet. Not only that, but he didn't look RIGHT. He had bags under his eyes and he looked sleepy.
So yeah, I sat with him at a table for lunch and out of the corner of my eye, I see him lift up the sleeve and itch himself. He had his arms under the table, but I saw these long and dark marks on his arm. My first thought was, "wtf, he must have heat rash." Then, I stopped. I've seen those marks before, on Mattie. They were cut marks.
FUCKING CUT MARKS. Well as soon as he noticed I was looking at him, he covered his arms up and left for his next class.
I don't know what the fuck is up. I don't know what I did, if I did anything at all. Maybe it was something I didn't do...I tried to talk to him about it but he said they were scratches from his new kitten. Then, today, I asked him of he wanted to go out to eat and he snapped at me. Swore too, which is something he never does. It seemed abrupt, but if I think about it, he's been getting more depressed each day. I have no idea why though. Because I didn't notice, I never asked. Now it's too late to ask.
Fuck, if this turns out like it did with Mattie, I'm just going to shoot myself.
I'm just a bad boyfriend. Ha, I don't even know what's wrong with him, never thought to ask until the other day. Fucking SHIT. What am I gonna do guys?
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