Friday, May 11, 2007

Mai- Chai [no.]
Mood:

Lastnight was fun. ^-^ I went to go see The Invisible lastnight with my friend Alison, then we went and hung out with an old friend, Christine. ^-^ Twas fun. I then hung out with Isaac some and he bought me some JBX...I didn't get home until about midnight. gugugugugugugugu...Because I'm now 18, my folks say that it doesn't matter what time I come home on a school night, as long as I can get up in the morning, they're fine! ~squees~

I went to my school's prom a while ago, and then tomorrow, I'm going to Capital's prom as Alison's date. ^-^ Spendin' the night at her house and gettin home at the ass-crack of dawn. ^-^ I hope it's better than what our was...It kinda sucked...=[ They never played the song I requested. -_- Pissed me off to no extent. $5 says a prep scratched it out...wouldn't shock me at all...

And Ming has told me how to write the words Hello, Goodbye, my name, yes, thank you and no. ^-^ No is Mai-chai and means not yes....[yes is Chai.] I find it funny. ^-^ Most people dun believe me when I say I'm gonna go over to Thailand after I get my BS in teaching, and teach english over there with the program called Jet. ^-^ Yay!! Makeths moi hapi! ~squees~

Oh! My dad this morn, decided to tell me that Geoff called, and he said he seems like a decent guy...also said that we should go out. XD Makes me wonder if they spoke at all, and if they did, what was said...My dad hates me being with anything with a penis, yet he doesn't want me to be a lesbian. =/ I'm getting mixed signals 90% of the time...kinda really sucks...

Hey, this thing is getting pretty long! ^-^

Christine's care hurt my elbow, and my shoulders...well...my back between my shoulder blades. ;_; hurts bad.
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Thursday, May 10, 2007

Pu-ru no chiketto
Mood: D:<

Well...meh. Today is...an odd one. Wanna show my japanese 2 class Intoxicated Spiders. gugugugugu...>_>;; I didn't do that. <_<;; yeah...there should be more added later...but as for right now...no.
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Tuesday, May 8, 2007

I feel pretty, oh so pretty,
Mood:

...Beca, you suck so much. -_-;;;

Anyway, what's up, peoples? In Japanese 2 again and today...they're studying kanji. >_>; I'm helping them out because a bunch of them I've had to study this year...

Yesterday, Ming gave me a couple sheets of Thai writing and how to pronounce them so I can write them and read them....doubtfully pronounce them. >_>;; I fail at that part...Might as well sit around with a white board and write my messages. <_<;;; ~coughs some~ I have to hurry up and learn it so I can teach English over there. >_<

Beca, you REALLY suck.

Lastnight in night school, I was reading Faeries' Landing and scene made a question pop into my head for Geoff...I asked him and the answer made me very happy. I've been paranoid about those sorts of things ever since...well...a past, very horrible relationship...I'm still broken and am trying to put the pieces back together to save my life.
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Monday, May 7, 2007

Early bird gets the worm, spread your legs or spread the word! So what if I'm not the smartest peanut in the turd?
Mood:

[Actually, I'm very horny...TMI I bet...but tiz true.]

So how have you all been? After my depression episode, I think I'm doing freakin' wonderful! ^-^ My day has been mediocre, but fun. ^-^ I spent all weekend with my sis and got some more family. ^-^ Oba-san and uncle plushie are really cool people, the only thing I have against them is brianin...and small 7 year old brat who woke me up the past 2 days throwing hissy fits. -_-;;...even the 3 year old, reese didn't bother me...but yeah. ^-^ over all, their good kids and good people. I have to do my senior proj or else I fail BIG TIME and'll have a tendancy to never graduate...I need to talk to pincock and jenkins to see if I can turn in missing projects and also see if I can turn in the CAPs late...=/ I really need to pass...i dunno if I'm gonna chicken out on going to wisconsin or not...I might...but I really don't want to...~sighs~....But yeah...I've thought about that a lot lately, and actually got 3 job applications on firday. ^-^ Makes me really happy...I have to do those tonight. >_>;;;...um...yeah...in less than an hour or so. ^-^;; hehe? yeah...won't help the fact that I got fired like, 2 years ago from some resturant. >_>;;;....but yeah. ^-^ Jaa peoples. I'm getting off the comp now...not in much of a comp mood today since my RP buddy left. >_< grawr!!! Jaa!!
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Friday, May 4, 2007

I can take a hint better than I can take a hick.
Mood:

About yesterday, people...I'm sorry...I don't think I was quiet jealous of my sister, so much as the fact that she was so happy talking to him. ~shrugs~ I dunno...all I know right now is that I am one of the biggest idiots I know. I always hurt people and I don't mean to...I just push people away and the only way I know how to do that is to hurt them. ~sighs deeply~...I know one way to make the pain of loving geoff stop...eventually...but I don't want to do it. The thought makes me feel like my chest is going to explode and suddenly blood would come squirting outta a small hole in my chest. o_o picture it. It'll make your day. lol but yeah...I guess I'm just a dumb coward... yet...for some reason, all of a sudden I have a sudden boost of optomism. I dunno why....It just suddenly happened though I've felt like vomiting ever since I got home. o_O;...But yeah...I dunno...I guess right now I'll bulldoze my way through life, looking for something good to hold onto during the rough times like I always have.

I can do that. ~smiles some~...The future, though painful as it is will have some bright times, and if not, I know that I have had some in the past. I won't give up. Not only am I deathly afraid of death, but I know that there will be at least a couple people in this world that will miss me when I'm gone.
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Thursday, May 3, 2007

Hey, pull my finger!
Mood:

Today started right off the bat with a test in gov. It's only 2nd period right now and it's hard to type quietly. >_>;; very hard. I can't type fast, cause when I do, It's loud...<_<;;;; meep.

Anyway...I'm kinda freaked out. My feelings for Geoff are still strong, but...I dunno...It feels like we're running out of things to talk about, and something my sister asked me is stuck in my head...She used to "hate" him...and now she talks to him often and gets all excited about talking to him...I'm rather jealous...and it's making me back off...Beca, I love you, but I'm rather annoyed...I dunno...but...I dunno how to explain it...Just...the way you asked that question, and then after my answer, you actomg this way is pissing me off...or hurting me...maybe both, I dunno...but I know it hurts me...v_v I know it may sound unreasonable...sorry...

~sighs~ That's been stuck in my head for some time now. v_v I dunno what to do...but since she asked that question...I'm drifting from him...I love him...but not as much as I used to. Geoff, if you're reading this, Sorry, I can't say these things out loud...I'm pathetic, I know...but it's true. Sorry...
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Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Eccuk susun loo
Mood:

Tonight in night school, I can't help but be pissed off at the lack of intelligence that my teacher posseses. It appals me and pisses me off to no extent. how am I supposed to cope with it if I am eternally wishing to kill her? It is so hard. $5 says that I will NOT be able to finish my senior project. If I do not, I fail. I am so fucking pissed off right now. Today is just a bad day. Earlier it was one of those moments where I felt nothing really...then I got my grade in bio. I know for a fact i'm not missing 22 things. Fucking bastards need to pull their heads out of their fucking asses. GRAWR!!!!!
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Monday, April 30, 2007

He sees angels in the architecture.
Mood:

Today...has been spastic for the most part. =/ It's...interesting. >_< First thing this morn i kept dropping stuff and wanted to kill an nameless person who shall remain unnamed. But yeah. I got 1 min left. Love you all. Jaa.
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Sunday, April 29, 2007

Drop it like it's hot.
Prom was lastnight...It was interesting. Not quite what I thought it would be...but it was actually pretty fun in an okay way. I think some people were lying about going and what they were going to wear, but yeah. In all the pics my mom took I look like a fat drag queen...and we got a few of my "date" looking like he's checking my breastices out. lol but yeah. =[ I wish Geoff coulda gone...It would have been so much more fun...and I would have been so happy, not letting Yuzuki's and Ryker's drama get to me again...=[ Plus, Prom woulda been how it was supposed to be for me. A romantic night with the person I care about most. ~sighs deeply~...That part sucked. Towards the end I was wishing that he went with me instead of Andrew...Sure, Andrew's cute and cool and all...but he's just a friend.

Anyway...I wore a teal long dress and oddly enough [this was by total mistake] The Evangelion wallet I got from AnimeOasis matched it! XDD I find that fucking funny!!!....but yeah. After wards we went to IHOP with Alida's mom because it was me, Andrew and Alida that went...=/ but yeah...I'm not saying much more due to the fact that there's not much more to say other than the fact I was so tired I slept 14 hours...and would gladly sleep more.
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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Cut ,cut, cut, rape, rape, rape, This is life!
Mood:


Today went rather pleasing and I have found some good information for my digimon comic.
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