Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I had a fight. ;_;
I had a fight with Alphonse...It kinda really sucked. He bruised the muscule on the outer side of my left thigh. It hurts like REALLY bad...

Who's in for a big Final Fantasy RP?! I sure as hell am! I could use it right about now...Especially one with an old friend of mine. =/ It was one of my first RPs at my house. It was about 3-4 years ago when I still had AOL.

I'm bored and am stuck working on more damned antonyms for my friggin' Graphic Design assignment. -_- Annoyance.
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Friday, October 20, 2006

Yay! Happy post...Hopefully!
Listening to: Enomine - Tier in Mir
Reading: Angel Sanctuary - Kaori Yuki
Watching: Evangelion AMVs
Playing: FFIX
Eating: Nothing
Drinking: Nothing...I'm still sick from the dew.

Well...I think I better go over what all has happened that I failed to talk about. ^^

Fri - 13 : I went to see the Grudge 2 with my friends Yuzuki Sagara [ Myotaku name], Juji [Myotaku name], Sam, Alex, and some chick...I coulda sworn I was gonna tear off Sam's arm I was so scared. ;_; Especially the old man on the bus. T_T "Nani nani nani naaaaaa" ~screams~ So scary!! XD It was so much fun! And all because of scary movie 4, I'm not so scared of the Grudge! ^^ ~squee~

Sat - 14 : Homecoming dance. Reno was able to go, but he didn't dance. = ( sad. I really wanted to dance with him, but instead, I dances with two girls that I've had crushes on. e_e hehe...Slow danced. ~blushes~ Then a half hour before the dance ended we all went to pojos and played DDR in homecoming dresses [Us being Reno, Me, Kelsey, Mellissa and her date.]

from then on out.. I dun really remember much. >< Dammit!! Anyway...

I'm supposed to be going to this scary corn maze that's called Haunted World. I CAN'T WAIT!!! I'm a fear junky. I am obsessed with the feeling of fear traveling throughout my body. The adrenaline, the endorphines afterwards. It's like euphoria! I love it!
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Thursday, October 19, 2006

   Tummy Ache
Listening to: Enomine - Tier in Mir
Reading: Angel Sanctuary - Kaori Yuki
Watching: Evangelion AMVs
Playing: Galerians
Eating: Nothing
Drinking: Nothing. Mt made me sick. ;_;


MY stomach hurts so much that it makes me wanna cry. =/ I think it was because of breakfast. It's not sitting right, and is threatening to come back up in a bunch of little egg mcmuffin wannabe pieces. =( I'm in commercial Graphic Design right now, so I can't go to the nurse and see if I can go home. I need to. I'm in way too much pain to really concentrate. Infact, I'm typing at at least half of my speed right now, and I just want to sleep. Ugh. PAIN! T_T I need some pepto, but I think that it'll just bounce. I'm even scared to drink my small bit of mountain dew that I got from a friend earlier today. It might even be that. I dunno. I just wanna feel better...~sigh~ I'm messin' with my photobucket so that it'll look better, but so far it's not working so well. =(

I should go so I can work on my assignment. Jaa
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Friday, October 13, 2006

   Home coming ruined?
Well...Originally this post was to be my bragging post to say that the guy I've had a crush on for a year said yes to going to the Home Coming Dance with me...but that's not what it's for now...

I just found out that to get into the Dance, you have to have your ID card, and also, your date has to have a Borah ID, or a freshman college ID card...Josh has neither of those. He graduated last year, and he didn't go onto college because he has to take care of his mom and sis because his dad's in Iraq right now...I have to talk to the principal so I can ask him if he can go...It took me a year to ask this guy out, and now that I have, the first date may be total hell, and being the nervous wreck that I am, he may think less of me. I hate it! I feel emo right now for no good reason except for the fact that my school sucks so much ass that it's ruining a lot of things for me that should have already happened!!

What the hell?! Karma has been horrible to me lately, what did I do? Did I piss somebody off, did I not cry when I was supposed to? What?!...I wanna know...I wanna know what I can do to fix it...I just wanna know...

I wanna cry right now, but I can't because of something one of my friends said to me in the 5th grade...That I was a crybaby...Ever since then, I hardly cry, finding it weak, and like it annoys people, and yet, sometimes I can't help it...Dammit, I'm getting all girly again!! >< I'm gonna go before I say something I regret...~sighs~ Jaa.
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   Yatta!!!!
Hola! I asked out my friend Reno to the homecoming dance and he said yes! ~squee~ I'm so exited, embarrassed and nervous. ;_; I've liked him for about a year, and supposedly, [by what Myke and Nee said] he liked me last year, too...but I can't believe I asked him out!!

Anyway...yeah. Like normal, I can not talk for very long in this class because I have assignments. Be back on later to updat further! ^^ Jaa!
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Thursday, October 12, 2006

   bleh
I decided to go back to my original BG...yeah. Blah.
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   Bleagh
Listening to: DHT - Hard...sorry
Reading: Silver Kiss - Annette Curtis Klause
Watching: Naruto AMVs...again
Playing: Galerians
Eating: Chicken Sammiches
Drinking: Mt. Dew

This poast is more or less gonna be 2 songs only. ^^;;


Hard to say I'm sorry (The original Chicago Version) :

Everybody needs a little time away," I heard her say, "from each other."
"Even lover's need a holiday far away from each other."
Hold me now. It's hard for me to say I'm sorry. I just want you to stay.

After all that we've been through, I will make it up to you. I promise to.
And after all that's been said and done,
You're just the part of me I can't let go.

Couldn't stand to be kept away just for the day from your body.
Wouldn't wanna be swept away, far away from the one that I love.
Hold me now. It's hard for me to say I'm sorry. I just want you to know.
Hold me now. I really want to tell you I'm sorry. I could never let you go.

After all that we've been through, I will make it up to you. I promise to.
And after all that's been said and done,
You're just the part of me I can't let go.

After all that we've been through, I will make it up to you. I promise to.

You're gonna be the lucky one.


The Final - Dir en grey :

The intention is clear, I stare, with this left hand, unable
to be worded
Every time I bleed, there lies the reason to live ... And I
discover words being so vivid and bright

Even loved ones scatter like petals from flowers in my hand
So even if I engraved the meaning that I lived in my hand, it
will only be known as flowers of vanity

The Final

One by one it multiplies ... why be a sad bait?

Deep within the hell of my heart ... I can't go back
A self-torture loser, not being able to see tomorrow
Suicide is the proof of life

Even loved ones scatter like petals from flowers in my hand
So even if I engraved the meaning that I lived in my hand, it
will only be known as flowers of vanity

So I can't live
What's lost can't be born again

A song that's not even seeking the proof of living
Let's put an end ... The Final

Lets bloom flowers of attempted suicide.


Those are two of my fave songs...
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   Home coming Fest is today!!!!!
Listening to: my teacher's music
Reading: Silver Kiss - Annette Curtis Klause
Watching: myself type
Playing: FFIX...2 PLAYER, BABY!!!
Eating: Egg McMuffin wannabe from school.
Drinking: Mt. Dew

~Squee!!!~ The homecoming fest is today and I called the guy I've liked ever since last year, Reno, and asked him to go. I hope he does. He said that he'd try...~squee!!!~ OMFG! I'm so friggin' exited!!!

Japanese club at my school is finally doing something spiffy and I hope it turns out good. We're doing a wasabi eating contest, and something called "The Pocky Callenge" which is, can you tell the diff between Japanese and Korean pocky...God knows that I can't. the only diff is a lil bit of bitterness. That's all and I often get which one's more bitter, confused. But, yeah. ^^ If reno goes, I'm gonna ask him to the homecoming dance on Sat, praying to god that he goes to te fest AND says yes. ~takes a deep breath~ My only issue, is that I look like crap today. Myke's letting me borrow his coat and I'm wearing a white tanktop underneath...=/ and I won't be able to smoke after school today. T_T Dammit. I've been having a nicotine fit all morning!! ><


I also got in a fight with Kelsey. She's been offered to be in Pr0n before, and I told her what I thought of it then...she listened in the past, but this one guy [Who's store I am going to burn down because he is a child pornographer and then I will make sure that he dies a deadly death that is deadly] offered to pay her alot of money. She thinks that it's the only way to get money for the Homecoming dance, a shirt, a Lion [Which is our school mascot] bobblehead, and a fucking library fine. I told her that she doesn't need to do any of that except for the fine which is-- oooh, aah, 50 cents. Personally, I am against her doing any of that, and I'm getting tired of changing myself for her, when she is going to do nothing to change herself. It pisses me off so fucking much and I'm even tired of being nice right now. >< I fought with her as I was going to leave to catch the bus to get my ass up here at the merry lil tech center for my fucking graphic design class. Trust me, one thing ontop of another like this is not good for me when I have to do a whole bunch of shit to fix other people's fuck ups, because I guess that I'm the only one who can go around and fix things. I'm tired of taking the blame for people! I'm tired of being a fucking scapegoat! I have hardly any real friends, and this i the exact reason that in 7th grade, I retreated into my mind and lived my life in my own little world where I had friends, I was somebody...and somebody was created. I'm not claiming to have M.P.D...I know I don't have it...Other personalities are made from other things...But it's nice to know that my burden that I made in 7th grade will make it to where I'm never lonely...not really. I made him in spite of the loneliness that I felt. I made him older, somebody important...somebody that I could look up to. He had no name, though, So I called him Nanashi, which means "Unnamed child"...I was a sad excuse for a person...and still kinda am, even if I'm involved with my otaku community to a slight extent...Will people miss me? Would people care?...I often think that...but then I tell myself that I have to continue to live...That I HAVE to live just to spite all those who hate me. Suicide is not right. It's the coward's way out...and even though I'm a chicken...I'm not a coward when it comes to that stuff....plus I'm scared of pain. ;_; that's the other reason I havn't commited suidide. >>;;....And yet my fave song is the final by Dir en grey. ~sighs~ Anyway...I have to shake off this Emo thing goin' on with me...~walks off~ I'll be on later to post more.
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Wednesday, October 11, 2006

   Panda
Listening to: DHT - Listen to your heart
Reading: Silver Kiss - Annette Curtis Klause
Watching: Naruto/ Hinata AMV
Playing: RPs
Eating: Air
Drinking: Saliva


Yeah...Today's a long day...ish. Tomm is th Homecoming fest thingy and I'm a part of it!! ~squee~ I also get my dog back from the humane society due to some big fugged up thing...anyway...


I dun really have much to say today other than the fact the the song "Listen to your heart reminds me of my ex, John....I still love him so much, and we broke up over a year ago...I still always think of him and when I talk to him, I blush non-stop...well...g2g. Jaa
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Tuesday, October 10, 2006

   Hold me now. It's hard for me to say I'm sorry...
Listening to: DHT - Hold me now
Reading: Diablo - Kusunoki and Ohashi
Watching: Naruto AMVs
Playing: RPs
Eating: Taco Salad
Drinking: Choco milk


Yeah...I think it's about time that I start my new posts off with the thing that DEV does. ^^;; I like it and think that it's totally spiffy, and gives me time to be a smartass...But yeah, the song, I got it yesterday and have fallen absolutely in love with it! ~squee~ I grew up with the original by the old band "Chicago."

but yeah, I have to go, so talk to you all later. ^^;;
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