Thursday, October 12, 2006

   Home coming Fest is today!!!!!
Listening to: my teacher's music
Reading: Silver Kiss - Annette Curtis Klause
Watching: myself type
Playing: FFIX...2 PLAYER, BABY!!!
Eating: Egg McMuffin wannabe from school.
Drinking: Mt. Dew

~Squee!!!~ The homecoming fest is today and I called the guy I've liked ever since last year, Reno, and asked him to go. I hope he does. He said that he'd try...~squee!!!~ OMFG! I'm so friggin' exited!!!

Japanese club at my school is finally doing something spiffy and I hope it turns out good. We're doing a wasabi eating contest, and something called "The Pocky Callenge" which is, can you tell the diff between Japanese and Korean pocky...God knows that I can't. the only diff is a lil bit of bitterness. That's all and I often get which one's more bitter, confused. But, yeah. ^^ If reno goes, I'm gonna ask him to the homecoming dance on Sat, praying to god that he goes to te fest AND says yes. ~takes a deep breath~ My only issue, is that I look like crap today. Myke's letting me borrow his coat and I'm wearing a white tanktop underneath...=/ and I won't be able to smoke after school today. T_T Dammit. I've been having a nicotine fit all morning!! ><


I also got in a fight with Kelsey. She's been offered to be in Pr0n before, and I told her what I thought of it then...she listened in the past, but this one guy [Who's store I am going to burn down because he is a child pornographer and then I will make sure that he dies a deadly death that is deadly] offered to pay her alot of money. She thinks that it's the only way to get money for the Homecoming dance, a shirt, a Lion [Which is our school mascot] bobblehead, and a fucking library fine. I told her that she doesn't need to do any of that except for the fine which is-- oooh, aah, 50 cents. Personally, I am against her doing any of that, and I'm getting tired of changing myself for her, when she is going to do nothing to change herself. It pisses me off so fucking much and I'm even tired of being nice right now. >< I fought with her as I was going to leave to catch the bus to get my ass up here at the merry lil tech center for my fucking graphic design class. Trust me, one thing ontop of another like this is not good for me when I have to do a whole bunch of shit to fix other people's fuck ups, because I guess that I'm the only one who can go around and fix things. I'm tired of taking the blame for people! I'm tired of being a fucking scapegoat! I have hardly any real friends, and this i the exact reason that in 7th grade, I retreated into my mind and lived my life in my own little world where I had friends, I was somebody...and somebody was created. I'm not claiming to have M.P.D...I know I don't have it...Other personalities are made from other things...But it's nice to know that my burden that I made in 7th grade will make it to where I'm never lonely...not really. I made him in spite of the loneliness that I felt. I made him older, somebody important...somebody that I could look up to. He had no name, though, So I called him Nanashi, which means "Unnamed child"...I was a sad excuse for a person...and still kinda am, even if I'm involved with my otaku community to a slight extent...Will people miss me? Would people care?...I often think that...but then I tell myself that I have to continue to live...That I HAVE to live just to spite all those who hate me. Suicide is not right. It's the coward's way out...and even though I'm a chicken...I'm not a coward when it comes to that stuff....plus I'm scared of pain. ;_; that's the other reason I havn't commited suidide. >>;;....And yet my fave song is the final by Dir en grey. ~sighs~ Anyway...I have to shake off this Emo thing goin' on with me...~walks off~ I'll be on later to post more.
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