Wednesday, November 12, 2003

i get bored

Marius


What Anne Rice vampire would you be?
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I am 56% Goth

Oh My Goth! You Goth, Girl. There is a good chance I am bi. Freakiness pumps through my viens, but I can still laugh at myself.

Take the Goth Test at fuali.com

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.


What kind of kiss are you?
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You represent... angst.
You have an extremely cynical outlook on just about
everything. It's okay to sulk and be
depressed, but life is short, and you only get
one. It's only what you make it, and only you
can make it improve.


What feeling do you represent?
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SELENE: You are selene!
Beautiful, vivacious,
fierce and seductive, Selene vowed she would
destroy Lycans after her family was murdered by
the werewolves. So ruthless is she that selene
is a member of the Death Dealers. This elite
Vampire warrior class's mission is to make the
Lycans extinct. This 127-year-old
"aggressive hunter of the underworld"
combines a mastery of ancient weaponry with
modern pleasures, such as driving Jaguars and
using computers. However, Selene's ambitions
are suppressed by Kraven. She longs for
Viktor's reawakening so that he becomes the
Vampire's regent once again.

Ever wish
you could be a vampire?
href="http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?biter=Archangel">Then
Click Here to become a Vampire!


Which UNDERWORLD character are you?
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You are Lamentations.


Which book of the Bible are you?
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Your soul is bound to the Rose Petals: The
Wronged.

"'ve come undone and all hopes of mending
me are gone because the pain took my soul.
Can't you see? The only one who can put me
back together again is me."

The Rose Petals are associated with sorrow,
reflection, and wisdom. They are governed by
the goddess Persephone and their sign is The
Teardrop, or Broken Love.

As a Rose Petal, you are always self-reflective and
may be hard on yourself. You probably have
been hurt in the past by other people and can
sometimes distance yourself, as a result. You
don't usually let other get too close to you,
but you are very good at mending your spirits
back together by yourself.


What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
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You should be dating a Leo.
23 July - 22 August
This mate is honest and loyal, with a sunny
disposition. Though this lion has the tendency
to be arrogant, sulky or smug, he/she is
unrestrained in bed.


What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To?
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another night wasted
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Forever Broken
i realized something today. i don't want anyone by my side. at least that's what i think i want. You see i really really hate being with kate. i just like her touch. i don't know what that means. i think it means i'm insecure. Everytime i'm with her i'm hate it. Everytime i'm away i miss her. what the hell does it mean.

We aren't really dating. Therefore i shouldn't be jealous of matti when they make out. you see, matti and i have been in a bit of an arguement. she says i treat her as an ass and i believe that she treats me the same. she calls me a fag, i call her a dike. i don't care that she calls me a fag, i know i'm not; it really hurts her that i call her a dike. then she runs off to kate, and i get called the bad guy. "Guys are assholes" is what they say (for the most part it's true) But what really pisses me off is that kate acouple of weeks ago said that i couldn't kiss matti! and yet she does the same. but then she comes to realize that we aren't dating and does the thing she says i can't do!!!

...

i'm just going to call the whole thing off
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Tuesday, November 11, 2003

Mary Magdelene
My friends think i'm obessing over her and i'm not i swear. but the more i think about it the more i realize it's true. for the past week i've been discusing, debating, "fighting" over if she was jesus's wife. AND I'M NOT EVEN RELIGOUS!!!

i think i have a major problem. i really don't care if she was or wasn't. i just like discussing it. also i think she was was very pretty. i've always liked art and books. i guess this just brought the two together.

Kate won't even talk to me on the phone, because all i talk about is her, or halo. i'm such a dork. i mean i have two beautiful girls that want me and yet i focus on something i can never solve!!! Joe would do anything for these two girls. i don't believe i deserve them.

back to mary: anyone who says she's a whore should be shot

http://www.artmagick.com/paintings/enlarge.aspx?pid=1786&path=sandys/sandys11

and if you think that she was a whore then show me were in the bible it says she is. actually some pope said she was and that's how rumors get started children. don't talk about people behind their backs it isn't nice. but one could say it doesn't say that she was married to jesus. and i know but their are two other gospels that weren't in the bible ( i know some just closed their windows and won't listen but bear with me) but they are and they were just found in 1945, i think.

anyway if you haven't read the da vinci code and you like to question christanity pick it up. if you don't like books i wouldn't pick it up
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Friday, November 7, 2003

Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||||||||| 46% Schizoid |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Schizotypal |||||||||||||||| 70% Antisocial |||||||||||||||| 66% Borderline |||||||||||| 46% Histrionic |||||||||| 38% Narcissistic |||||||||||||||| 62% Avoidant |||||| 22% Dependent |||||||||| 34% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||| 42%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test

Eccentric Personality Disorders: Paranoid, Schizoid, Schizotypal



Individuals with these disorders often appear odd or peculiar.

Paranoid Personality Disorder - individual generally tends to interpret the actions of others as threatening.

Schizoid Personality Disorder - individual generally detached from social relationships, and shows a narrow range of emotional expression in various social settings.


Schizotypal Personality Disorder - individual is uncomfortable in close relationships, has thought or perceptual distortions, and peculiarities of behavior.



Dramatic Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, and Narcissistic



Individuals with these disorders have intense, unstable emotions, distorted self-perception, and/or behavioral impulsiveness.

Antisocial Personality Disorder - individual shows a pervasive disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others.

Borderline Personality Disorder - individual shows a generalized pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and observable emotions, and significant impulsiveness.

Histrionic Personality Disorder - individual often displays excessive emotionality and attention seeking in various contexts. They tend to overreact to other people, and are often perceived as shallow and self-centered.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder - individual has a grandiose view of themselves, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in various situations. These individuals are very demanding in their relationships.


Anxious Personality Disorders: Avoidant, Dependent, Obsessive-Compulsive



Individuals with these disorders often appear anxious or fearful.

Avoidant Personality Disorder - individual is socially inhibited, feels inadequate, and is oversensitive to criticism

Dependent Personality Disorder - individual shows an extreme need to be taken care of that leads to fears of separation, and passive and clinging behavior.

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder - individual is preoccupied with orderliness, perfectionism, and control at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency.

i hope that works
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Wednesday, November 5, 2003

dress up and church
i dressed up as the crow today. it was cool. People were scared of me but what counts is that kate and matti though i looked hot.

but that's not the problem. You see, i was some how tricked into going to church with kate. i'm sort of hoping she says sscrew it and decides not to pick me up, but i doubt it. this will be the second time in meeting her folks the first time wasn't sooo good. i'll tell you how it goes and what happened later
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Friday, October 24, 2003

Touched
Life is well again, Kate and I kissed and made up. Matti isn't a problem and we aren't going to date. It's better this way i guess

"Touched"
Touched,
You say that I am too,
So much,
Of what you say is true,

I'll never find someone quite like you,
Again,
I'll never find someone quite like you,
Like You,

The razors and the dying roses,
Plead I don't leave you alone,
The demi-gods and hungry ghosts,
God, god knows I'm not at home,

I'll never find someone quite like you,
Again,
I'll never find someone quite like you,
Again,

I looked into your eyes and
Saw a world that does not exist,
I looked into your eyes and,
Saw a world I wish I was in,

I'll never find someone quite as touched as you
I'll never love someone quite the way that I loved you.


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Wednesday, October 22, 2003

a gothic romance
instead of writing down everything that's gone on i choose this song. it's VERY close to what's going on

"A Gothic Romance"
Evening minuetto in a castle by the sea
A jewel more radiant than the moon
Lowered Her mask to me
The sublimest creature the Gods, full of fire
Would marvel at making their Queen
Infusing the air with Her fragrant desire
And my heart reeled with grave poetry....

From grace I fell in love with Her
Scent and feline lure
And jade woodland eyes that ushered in the impurest
"Erotic, laden fantasies amid this warm Autumn night
She lulled me away from the rich masquerade
And together we clung in the bloodletting moonlight"
Pearled luna, what spell didst thou cast on me?
Her icy kiss fervoured my neck
Like whispering waves 'pon Acheron's beach
In a whirl of sweet voices and statues
That phantomed the dying trees
This debauched seductress in black, took me....

In a pale azured dawn like Ligeia reborn
I tore free of my sleep - sepulchre
On the sea misted lawn where stone figures, forlorn
Lamented the spectre of Her
Bewildered and weak, yet with passion replete
I hungered for past overtures
The curse of unrest and her ardent caress
Came much more than my soul could endure....

I, at once endeavoured to see Her again
Stirring from midnight's inertia
Knowing not even her name
On a thin precipice over carnal abyss
I danced like a blind acolyte
Drunk on red wine, her dead lips on mine
Suffused with the perfume of night

For hours I scoured the surrounding grounds
In vain that we might meet
When storm clouds broke, ashened, fatigued
I sought refuge in a cemeterty

Sleep, usher dreams
Taint to nightmares from a sunless nether

Mistress of the dark
I now know what thou art

Screams haunt my sleep
Dragged from nightmares thou hast wed together

Lamia and Lemures
Spawned thee leche
To snare my flesh

Portrait of the Dead Countess

Deep stained pain that I had dreamt
Flaunted demise, life's punishment
Leaving little strength to seal this wretched tomb....

But poised nectar within my stirs
Up feverous desire and morbid purpose to search
Through cobwebbed drapery to where she swoons
Goddess of the graveyard, of the tempest and moon
In flawless fatal beauty her very visage compels
Glimpses of a heaven where ghost companies fell
To mourning the loss of god in blackest velvet
Enrobed in their downfall like a swift silhouette

"Fleeting, enshadowed
Thou art privy to my sin
Secrets dead, wouldst thou inflict
The cruel daylights upon my skin?
Dost thou not want to worship me
With crimson sacrifice
So my cunt may twitch against thy kiss
And weep with new-found life?"

Red roses for the Devil's whore....

Dark angels taste my tears
And whisper haunting requiems
Softly to mine ear
Need-fires have lured abominations here....

Nocturnal pulse
My veins spill forth their waters
Rent by lips I cherish most

Awash on her perfidious shores
Where drowning umbra o'er the stars
Ebon's graves where lovers whore
Like seraphim and Nahemah

"Nahemah"

Pluck out mine eyes, hasten, attest
Blind reason against thee, Enchantress
For I must know, art thou not death?
My heart echoes bloodless and incensed....

Doth temptation prowl night in vulvic revelry
Did not the Queen of Heaven come as Devil to me?
On that fatal Hallow's Eve when we fled company
As the music swept around us in the crisp, fated leaves
UNder horned Diana where her bloodline was sewn
In a graveyard of Angels rent in cool marbled stone
I am grieving the loss of life in sombre velvet
Enrobed in Death's shadow like a swifter
silhouette....

if that didn't work basically the girl kate that iv'e been with(we aren't dating) is "tying" me up, as much as i do wish she would tie me up, i mean it as i can't kiss and mess around with anyone else. sooo i can't mess around with Matti, which i've already done. and kate is making me pick out of the two of them which i will stay with. that's the easy part, see i'm picking kate but if i do that what if i hate her for not letting me be with matti, but then i came up with pick no one. sounds nice but then i'll be all alone, which i don't want to be. i don't know what i will do.
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Monday, September 22, 2003

i left
i left the looking glass(it's a forum that i and many others spend their day and night at) today, though it may just be a vacation. lol i might get told not to come back of course, that would suck.

maybe it was the banning of memeber that were close to me, or the bite mark left on my neck by kate (hehehe i have my own vampire) or let's say the addvice dre gave me;). whatever it was i left. hahaha how shall i spend my life now i wonder. dammit!
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Saturday, September 20, 2003

   an addictive kiss
i hate making out. but on friday kate grabbed me and forced it on me. yes i like kate so i enjoyed. but i won't be able to see her till monday. so what shall i do. i could steal my mothers wine, but i've already taken to much:D.... so ill drown myself in the music and hope that i drunk enough wine to forget...lol that would be a dream


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   Yay!
5 people have looked at this!

since i have no clue how to work this bloody thing, i 'll have to answer kenjutsu girl's questions here..

my favorite type of books are mostly dark and deal with vampires, witches, serial killers, and so on...

my favorite book of all time is any of the books from the vampire chronicles by anne rice. i'm pretty much addicted to those damn books. though the series will end this Oct. it will be the last one :(... but i'm moving on already to different vampire series, called the anita blake vampire hunter. it looks promising.

ill find a quote from one of the vampire chronicles if i remember
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