Wednesday, August 31, 2005

   My life is FINALLY starting to slowly turn around... still with some confusion, but none-the-less, turning around it turning around! Turning around however in someways that might be making other things harder... but I will deal with everything when the ti


Where Do I Begin?? How about at the VERY very beginning! Yes, lets! Sounds good to me!

(I am such a dork!)

Anyway, I went to league with Tammy (Oh I almost forgot, Jeff went to, grr) on *checks calender* August sixteenth. Well while we were there, Tammy was hanging all over this guy named Nick who at the time she really liked... well I say it that way, because they are now together. Anyway... the real good stuff!!

I met this guy Chris, who was real great and quite funny! Anyway, I poked him to see if he was ticklish, and let me tell you, HE REALLY WAS. It was soo funny, so I kept poking him. It was so great!

Well, then Jeff gave me a ride home and well... I am not going there.

Anyway, Then on August twenty third Brian (who I was with and now is MY EX!) broke up with me... yet again when I needed him most. But in reality, I think it was for the better, because now I can actually be with a guy who I will have a chance to see, and I know wont hurt me like he did. Who wont juggle me between another girl, nor sleep with someone behind my back. Anyway, he said that I can't talk to him for a month, which is dumb, but all is good! Like I said... My life is slowly turning around.



Then on Friday (August twenty sixth) I was at dinner with my dad and step-mom. Well, it was a pretty nice resterant, Well, my favorite one actually!! The Imperial right off Broadway! Anyway, our waiter was a babe and well, it was real real funny because when he came over to the table to ask if there was anything he could get us and naming off the desserts and all, my mind was repeating it, and yet wandering at the same time. (thinking) "anything I can get you? Dessert? Ice cream, ...... a date?!?!?!" He really didn't say that... I just thought it, and it was actually pretty funny! When he got to cheesecake, I came back to reality! Good 'ol cheesecake! Anyway after we left, my step-mom (Carolyn) had to call her dad, and I asked my dad if I could go get our waiters number. Not only did he say I could, he encouraged me too. My Dad!! Encouraging me to get this guys number, when he knew he was at least twenty one or older!!! MY DAD!!! Anyway, so I get half way there and get all shy, and turn back. I thought of an idea and got my keys out of my purse and walked back in to where we were sitting. I pretended to pick up my keys and then I waited for him to pass me. Sure enough he did and then I asked him for his number! HE GAVE IT TO ME!!!! YAY! Anyway, it was so great!

I wanted to call him Saturday and Sunday, but I didn't. Everyone told me not to because I would sound desperate... but hey, truth hurts right?!? Anyway Saturday I had to help my step-mom, and everyone help move things from her shop to our house, because she is closing the shop. And so we were all tired. Then Sunday was sort of a re-coop day, and I went and hung out with my dad and step-mom for the hell of it. We went and played mini golf (which I hadn't done in a while) and we played thirty six holes. I got a tiny bit sunbured too, oh well, it doesn't hurt!

Then on Monday, I called him... him being Richard, our waiter from friday! Well I called him and got to talk to him for a short while, because he works three jobs, seven days a week. I really hope that I can chill with him this weekend, I really do!!

(I need a beer, or wine cooler, or margarita, or something!!)

Sometime between Sunday night and Monday, I talked on-line to Suzi and Tammy. Come to find out that Chris (the guy from league) liked me. I really didn't believe them though, although they both kept insisting.

So yesterday, Tuesday, I met up with Suzi and Tammy around three and then Nick came and picked us up and took us to league. We got there around four, Well, yeah, I started playing with Chris's hair, because he said no one could unless they had a death wish. So I thought I would test that! He said when league was over I would be running for my life... But it never happened! Actually I didn't have to ever run a all! ;) All that was running was my nails over his stomache and sides1!! *evil grin* Anyway, Tammy was making up these stories about all of us, that was real odd, but all was funny and well. The whole time I was basically cuddling with Chris, and it was so great... The last time I said I felt safe with someone was really a lie because of what happened, but I really honestly felt safe with Chris; so safe in fact that I almost fell asleep on his chest! I spent NINE hours with him (I did the math) and yet, it still didn't feel like enough time, You know? He doesn't want to "get anything started" because of the age thing (which damnit, it IS legal)... I understand where he is coming from, and I don't really know what I want right now. He asked me what I saw in me, as well has every guy I known asked me that, and like always, I can never figure it out. But I did feel safe with him, and I just can't explain it. He is sort of crazy, yet can be serious too, which is always good. And he is one of the few guys that can actually make me laugh. I can't say that I trust him, but that is only because of what I have been through... it takes time to gain my trust, and if you break it, it is ALMOST impossible to gain back.

Anyway, but all was great... nine hours! I don't think I have spent that much time with anyone 'cept my ex (Ray, my first boyfriend, who I was with for six and a half years).... Damn!! Usually I get bored with people... like I can't spend all that much time with them, but he was diferant, I was able to... I just don't know. I might be going to league again on Thursday, wait, ha, that is tomorrow! Cool! I hope that we can all hang out again!! I really do. That would be sweet!

I still really want to hang out with Richard though this weekend, I hope I can... I really hope! That would be great!

I AM LISTENING TO DEF LEOPARD, POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME!! YAY! *Jumps on coffee table and starts dancing around* This is such a great song to dance on a bar to, but I don't have a bar *pouts* OH WELL, next best thing!! *starts singing*

Step inside, walk this way
You and me babe, Hey, hey!

Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on
Livin' like a lover with a radar phone
Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp
Demolition woman, can I be your man?
Razzle 'n' a dazzle 'n' a flash a little light
Television lover, baby, go all night
Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet
Little miss ah innocent sugar me, yeah

Hey!
C'mon, take a bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up

Pour some sugar on me
Ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
C'mon fire me up
Pour your sugar on me
Oh, I can't get enough

I'm hot, sticky sweet
From my head to my feet yeah

Listen! red light, yellow light, green-a-light go!
Crazy little woman in a one man show
Mirror queen, mannequin, rhythm of love
Sweet dream, saccharine, loosen up

You gotta squeeze a little, squeeze a little
Tease a little more
Easy operator come a knockin' on my door
Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet
Little miss innocent sugar me, yeah

Take a bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up

Pour some sugar on me
Ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
C'mon fire me up
Pour your sugar on me
Oh, I can't get enough I'm hot, sticky sweet,
From my head to my feet yeah

(guitar solo)

You got the peaches, I got the cream
Sweet to taste, saccharine
'Cos I'm hot, say what, sticky sweet
From my head, my head, to my feet

Do you take sugar? one lump or two?

Take a bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up

Pour some sugar on me
Ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
C'mon fire me up
Pour your sugar on me
Oh, I can't get enough
Pour some sugar on me
Oh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
Get it, come get it
Pour your sugar on me
Ooh
Pour some sugar on me
Yeah! Sugar me!


Anyway, yeah, so like I said... my life if turning around slowly. Meeting new people, who are interested in me. The only thing though, is if I dated either of them, one of my friends (Korin) would be mad, or disappointed, or angry...well I don't know what she would be, but she would be something bad I know! Because they both are twenty two. And yet, now I am (maybe, who knows) going to be doing what I hated my other friend (chrissy) doing. Dating someone so much older, even though by law it is legal. But I also think I had a bad vibe about the guy she was going out with, and well, what he had on his record. Sorry for caring about my friends, but I do! I don't want to hurt anyone, but yet, if I don't get with someone who is genuinnly interested in me, I will just be hurting myself. I really just don't know what to do, but maybe I should just stop caring what others think, and go where my heart takes me... all I have been doing all my seventeen years is doing things not to hurt others whether it makes me happy or sad. Anyway... I lost my train of thought!!

Have a good day everyone!! I will update you more when I can!

~muah~ -=huggles=- and much love!!

~*~NORMAL CHAOS~*~
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