Friday, June 6, 2008

June 6, 2008

Listening to: Nothing. Wanting: To cry, leave the house, and cuddle. Mood: Pissed, depressed, and lonely. Quote: What do you do when the person you are living for is the one that is making you want to die? Okay... So... I'm uberly depressed. This is beyond normal depression for me. I have been breaking down randomly since Monday. I'm not happy. The only time I feel happy is when I'm tlaking to Steven. Yes, I know that sounds pathetic. Fuck. I'm so paranoid. I feel like something is watching me. Like my every move. Every sound seems so different to me right now. I've lost alot of weight. And I haven't slept much at all. I think I got three hours of sleep yesterday. I've been trying to do anything to keep my mind busy. Writing, drawing, blogging, making CDs, making videos, cleaning, singing, talking to people, running, exercising, anything. It seems like everything is so.... Bam! Now. I don't know how to put it, it's just that everything sticks out now. It's rather freaky. I don't really know what else to do except post about it here. No matter what happens I can't keep my mind busy. I still feel paranoid. Maybe it's juat a phase. I can't tell my mom about it. She already wants to take me to a shrink. And I am not fucking going to see a shrink. None of my friends' are able to help me. The one that could is gone for the weekend. And the other one that could probably wouldn't and is away. Anyway... I think I'll go. This is probably already boring enough for you.

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Thursday, June 5, 2008

June 5, 2008

Listening to: Haunted by Evenescence Wanting: Midol, solitude, more ice cream. Watching: Nothing. Mood: Pissed, depressed, and bored. Quote: You can't change the past. So stop worrying about it, atleast you have control over the future. I hate this cat. I am going to fucking kill him. It's 12:19 P.M. And I just got up! What in Hell is wrong with me?! I fucking hate this! My sleeping pattern is changing so damn much. Errr. Fuck. I was working on a video late last night. Which reminds me, I need to send that to Mug, Kisana, Kevin, and Kyle. Anyway. I am trying to get Kyle to convince his parents to let him go to Florida with me. Or atleast let him come up here. I dunno how my parents are going to react whenever I tell them I want him to go to Florida with us. If he doesn't go then Danny will. :] Hmm. Not much to say right now. Laterzz.

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Wednesday, June 4, 2008

June 4, 2008

Listening to: Let Go by Red. Wanting: Some one to cuddle with, movies, cold weather, rain. Watching: Nothing. Mood: Alittle depressed but still content. Quote: I will live forever. I'm so sleepy. Stevo called again this morning, but I got up and talked to him. It's 9:18 A.M. I am considering going back to bed. Bleh... I hate summer. To hot. I wanna cuddle. So bad. I feel so lonely. Err... Getting more depressed. Fuck! I'm just gonna go.

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Tuesday, June 3, 2008

June 3, 2008

Listening to: Last Train Home by Lostprophits. Wanting: Pepsi, somone here to talk to, to go swimming. Watching: Nothing. Mood: Bored and Pissed, yet Happy. Quote: When will you ever learn how to walk alone? Why must you always need someone to hold you hand and show you want to do and not to do? Gah. It's 11:37 A.M. And I just got up. I am so mad! Because I had Steve call me at eight this morning, but I was so sleepy. He told me to go back to bed and call him later and I said okay. I should have just gotten up. I was having the weirdest dream too. O___o; I don't really remember what it was about to much. All I know was Randy, Steve, and I were playing video games. Then someone was getting their hair dyed. ._. Anyway. Man I feel like shit. My head hurts and my body is so sore. And I had sex hair this morning. My kitty tried to eat my hair whenever I was brushing it earlier... He got throw out of the chair. :] Anyway, I'm going to go. Hope everyone has a good day.

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Monday, June 2, 2008

Jun 2, 2008

Listening to: Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace. Wanting: A cold bubble bath, sleep, someone to cuddle with. Watching: Nothing. Mood: Pretty pissed off. Quote: Like most people, you never realized what you had until she was gone. Okay... I'm so fucking bored, I think I am going to scream. Ughh, I'm so damn sleepy, I didn't get to sleep until around two in the morning. Plus I had a shit load of things on my mind so it was hard as Hell to sleep. And I am burned, again. Kisana and I went swimming yesterday and she spent the night again. That girl seriously can't live without talking to her boyfrined. Want to know what I hate? When someone says they miss their boyfriend or girlfriend when they just talked to them a few hours ago. I've gone days without talking to a boyfriend! Maybe even a week or two. Sheesh. She always wanted to call him, it was alittle annoying. My mum and I were at eachothers throats all night. I fucking hate this. I'm so pissed off. Like seriously. I just want to delet all my sites and everything on my computer and just start over. Or not even start again. I am beginning to hate the computer that much.

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Saturday, May 31, 2008

May 31, 2008

Well, Kisana is suppose to be coming over. Dunno how this is gonna go, considering I'm still uberly depressed. I found out three people like me. Jer-Jer, Matt, and Ronny. That's slightly depressing. But whateva. I care about all of them. But I love Jer-Jer. He's so nice. But only as a brother. O_o Matt is like uberly obsessed. And Ronny just has a crush. Bleh. Males. The computer has really been stressful lately. I really hate getting on here now. I never have anything to do. And all those viruses. My mum won't get the XP Anti-Viruse disk until she calls the computer dude. Next weekend I am going shopping and destroying my hair. I'm putting bleach blonde in it, pink, and burgendy. My mum is horrified. XD I'm excited. Anyway, nothing more for today. Laterz.

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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

May 28, 2008

To depressed to post alot. Wont be on much today, even if I am I probably wont reply to messages.

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Tuesday, May 27, 2008

May 27. 2008

Hmm... You know what I am noticing? TheO is really dying. I mean no one post like they use to. So many people have abandoned this site it's not even funny. It's actually rather sad. Anyway. Screw people. D: I'm still on, even though people don't care what I have to say. ]: I'm bored, oh and I d- *throwd cat out of chair* Don't feel sick anymore. Isn't that good!? But I'm still burned. And Jae, it's not going to give me a tan. It will stay on my face, then when it goes away I will still be white as Hell. I'm hungry. T.T Hmm... Toast? Nah, nevermind, I wont eat. Anyway.... I'm bored. So I go bye-bye now. ^^ Quote of the day- I have absolutly no fucking clue man. ._. Questions of the Day- Having a good summer? What are you eating for lunch? What are you doing today? My Answers- I guess. No clue. Sitting here... :] RECOMEND ME GOOD MUSIC THAT I HAVE PROBABLY NEVER HEARD OF!!!

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Monday, May 26, 2008

May 26, 2008

Okay. I am totally sick as a dog. I've been barfing since Mug left yesterday. I'm glad alot of people didn't read that post from yesterday. I was very mad. Anyway... I'm so burned. >< Like I look like a tomatoe. D: I can't wait until later today. I get to call Steven! Now I'm gonna go. [Today you'll actually get a quote and questions!] Quote of the day- Even if I say It'll be alright, still I hear you say you want to end your life. [Three Days Grace] Questions of the day- Name your three favorite bands. Two favorite songs. Are you short? My Answers- Fireflight, Three Days Grace, Lostprophets. Addicted and Rooftops. Very. T.T

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Sunday, May 25, 2008

   May 25, 2008

I'm so fucking pissed off. *screams* I am beyond pissed. I am so mad I want to fucking start crying! 1. This stupid Anti-Virus thing keeps popping up. 2. I'm tired as Hell from swimming so much. 3. My face is burned. 4. Steve called three minutes before I got out of the shower, and then when I called back he couldn't talk! GAH!!!! 5. I am paranoid as Hell. [No I have not been smoking again. -.-] 6. My cat keeps trying to eat my hair. 7. I think Mc Donalds is trying to kill me. T.T Is the entire world trying to kill me? Fuckerz. I want my Steven! NOW! Anyway... I'm leaving. Going to bed. Or going to stare at my phone. Eh... Either way I wont be on my longer. Laterz.

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