Thursday, July 12, 2007

Human
okay,i havent been on here in a while. but i am in fact still alive. and i will go visit everyone's site the first chance that i get....
this probly wont be too long,seeing as how im outside a library with my labtop at the moment,but i'll try to make it short....

....SO!!!

i dont know..nothing's happened since last time...
well..i have to go to a wedding on saturday. mother's wedding. long. boring. hot. wont want to talk to anyone. in a dress....i dont like dresses

lately ive been trying to be happy. mainly because my mother gets on my case everytime i dont talk for a while or dont smile,asks me whats wrong,tries to force me to be happy. she thinks just because shes getting married i have to be happy for her every single moment of every fucking day. i said congradulations,what the fuck more does she want from me?

i started thinking something yesterday,and am still thinking about it today. the differences of "want" and "need"...i think i dont "need" so many things.i dont need to play an instrument. i dont need to draw,to read,to write. i dont need to listen to this music or go on the internet. i dont need any of this. i dont need to smile,i dont need to cry. i dont need to do anything of my personal interest...what i need to do is drink. and eat. and breathe. at least,i think thats what i have to do.thats a problem,too. humans think. they think they need something,but they just want it. everything you want,your interests,anything...its just caused by constant thinking. what i am typing is caused by such thinking. people consider humans to be intellegent specimens. but we think. minds. the human mind. too complicated for its own good. looking back to previous needed thoughts,not wanted,needed, machinery might simply be better. no thoughts. no questioning. just programmed to do what needs to be done. nothing more...
but then again,maybe if you want something bad enough,you begin to need it,although the amount of want would be unimaginable in the case of want to need.
...maybe i need to feel like a machine. maybe that betrayer was right. and maybe i do seem cold. maybe i should be. i dont know anymore. thoughts. im only human.

...i dont need to be typing this.

~V.K Kyu
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Wednesday, June 20, 2007

http://www.youthlarge.com/img/minca_ramen.jpg
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Pulse
the last thing i posted on here was,as stated,a 3-minute story by someone i know named Wiley. majikal,isnt it?

i should be,but am still not, over the fact that a friend who i considered very close to me betrayed me. she lied to me for a very long time,and made me feel false sympathy for a person who didnt even exist. she said she lied because she didnt "feel needed" and that it made her,indeed,feel "needed". i still dont understand how telling me,amoung other people, that her boyfriend,who never existed,was going to commit suicide made her feel "needed". me and [nakunakuuu] considered her a good friend. when told this,she relpied that we were never good friends with her,but just good friends to each other. bullshit. she most recently sent me an email. was it supposed to be an apology,i dont know. either way,it made me sound emotioness. a machine. did she think of me as a machine? cold,lifeless? i dont care what she thought. i wonder how much she has lied to me about. and i doubt this will be the end of it. she'll keep lying to people. she used to IM me saying that everyone hated her,and "if they dont,they should".i now see why. she's gonna find herself alone one day and wonder why.

this made me start thinking that it would,in fact,be better to be a machine. machines dont have to deal with human emotions. they have set goals that they are programmed to accomplish.

simplicity in the life of a machine.

....................on a change of subject,ive taken a recent liking to acrylic paint and black india ink. if i can,i will post some of the things i've drawn on here.

~"V.K Kyu"
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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Wiley's 3-minute story
The half heart of the demon, burning with passion for blood and lust for suffering burns within him so hard that he cant control it anymore! He unleashes.. but worse.. on the one he loves inside. Twisting and turning on the ground resisting everything (like he wants to die. like he cant love anyting and most of all he cant love himself..) is it that he cant like himself? or is it totaly different? this you can only guess and never know the answer to.. breaking everything in sight with such hatred and sadness.. the home he once had such a good time in is now being destroyied by the exact same person.. His eyes turn reder.. now.. he fights himself...he rips off his shirt and throws it across the already destroyied room. A bright pearceing light comes forth... through the bloody iorn gates.. a figure was standing infront of the blinding light that he has been denied for so long.. it was her.. the girl he loved... “no stop.....” she says not showing any expresion of hate. yet no expresion of love... “here... I will not let you go.. I will never let you fall...” “as she walks stedily twards him... “ he such a helpless creature of night can only be more helpless by stareing at her.. the person he loves.. with such a burning passion.. the most he can move is his quivering mouth and his shakeing eyes of blood red darkness
“please dont do this...” she says... face to face with him.. as she even now gets ever closer she holds her arms out... but the feeling for blood like a wild animal was to much to bare for him.. he lashes out with one arm at her and his arm goes right through her stomach.... as she falls half way down to the ground.. she pulls him down with her and hugs him tightly.. as i said.. i will pretect you.. i must love you.... steam was comeing out of his chest ware his heart was supposed to be... he was sweeting harder then the liveing man.. yelling out in a animalistic cry of pain like he was melting... he looks at her with less of the face of an animal and more of the face of hume she once loved...................... ............... ................with her last dieing breath.. “dont worry everything will be alright...” she kisses him on the lips.. as a acidic liquid flows out of his mouth. She falls to the floor dead and he is left alone.. saved by the love that he killed... he has returned to his normal self.. yet he would never be the same person he was before.. because back then he didnt kill the one he loved... he looks at her dead body with the huge gapeing hole in her stomach.. even if he cant remember anything in the last 5 minutes he knows deep down in his heart... he killed her........ he gets up.. and picks up her body.... goes to the bridge.. the bridge of heaven.... as cherry blossoms fall all around him.. nothing else but mountans and the high clouds under them.. he sets the bridge of heaven a fire.. and sits in the middle of it with her dead body meditateing.. “now my love.. we shall be together forever as we fall from the bridge of heaven.... the fire consumes the bridge.. but not of any ordinary fire.. it turned blue... and the bridge clapses.... and there they go through the everlasting clouds never to return to the land of the liveing.. some say they lived... and some say they went to heaven as one... but i like to think.. they lived... as mortals... and finaly found happieness with the love that they should have had when they were alive... -by Wiley Davis
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Monday, June 11, 2007

Leave me to my [squeak]
................................................................................................................i just got.............new..........................................................boots..................................................................................they go..............................................................................................................................................................................................................*squeak*

~"V.K Kyu"
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Saturday, June 2, 2007

o_o wut do u think?

How evil are you?
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Sunday, May 27, 2007

........
i went to see Pirates Of The Carribean 3 on friday. it was really good ^_^.

unfortunately,that was really the only good part of my weekend. the rest of the time was spent helping my mom,who has a broken foot or something.
aaalsooo....
i had a "fabulous" day today.i didnt sleep last night,and i threw up all over my bedroom floor. wonderful.it smelled like bad ravioli. it WAS bad ravioli. i got it in my hair. it was a funny color.i will shut up now.

i still feel like shit,though. which sucks.
hope i can go to my friend's house tomorro,though

~"V.K Kyu"
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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Hello from Lint Word
havent been on here in a while o.0

i put up ONE new fanart (finally). i have more to scan in,but it'll take a while.scanner's on the other computer.soo...if u wanna see it..go ahead,tell me wut u think,if u want to.

school's actually been pretty boring.

i dont reallt want summer vacation to come...i wont see my friends ovr the summer...

o well,at least its a break from school.and more sleepless niiights to watch adult swim

short post.
fare thee well
~"V.K Kyu"
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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

damn moose
i didnt go to school today. i didnt see a point in going. one of my friends just told me that my other friend is mad at me. for not coming to school today. i feel bad.and somewhat sad. i dont need another person mad at me...
so now i dont want to go to school tomorrow,either.
if i dont,i dont have to be asked why i wasnt in school today.if i go,i might be killed by an ngry friend.but i doubt i'll be allowed to stay home again,anyway....

well,the upside to today was that i got Death Note manga. i read up to #3 in the store. but when i went to get them today,they didnt have vol.2,so i had to get vol.1 and 3.

..im thinking 'bout doing an L cosplay.just for fun. should i?

its boring right now...

i wish i wasnt made to go to bed.i dont really sleep,anyway. and i cant go online when evryone else is asleep,because my labtop had to be hooked up downstairs and not in my room. damn internet connection box-thing.

i guess i;ll be drawing again tonight.and playing with my ds or wutevr.i'd play guitar,but im too lazy to take it upstairs.i dont have an acoustic and without the amp its pretty quiet...
maybe i will bring it up.

i guess i'll go now?
i cant think of any good videos to put on here.

o well

~"V.K Kyu"
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Monday, May 14, 2007

today was lame.
i got called a fangirl by two of my friends. fuck,im NOT a fangirl...
they wont believe me,so whats the point.wutevr.

my mom flipped out on me just because i forgot a book in my locker that i needed to do homework. i said i could do it tomorrow.she didnt care. she gave me a lecture on how i cant "slack off just because your grade right now is good". i work fuckin hard to keep my grades up. she expects me to be perfect just because i get good grades and made it on honor roll or whatevr (which means nothing to me). im not.i make mistakes.im only human. im bound to disappoint.
im sorry i cant be perfect.accept it,its just one shitty homework assignment.its not gonna get me held back a year.im not gonna die if i dont do it.your making it sound like a big deal. leave me the fuck alone...

..sry,i just needed to get that out.

*sigh*...well,anyway,
nothing new in life.
same,boring,old shit.

....im gonna start colecting Death Note manga.anyone kno if its good? i've only watched the anime.and the movie.


~"V.K Kyu"

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