Sunday, August 26, 2007

I live! Yeah!

Well, okay. I'm back from the Band Camp of Hell, and I finished my first week of school. It's good to be back in school, but putting in 14 hour days isn't exactly healthy. I suppose it's my own fault, seeing as I volunteered for those extra hours after school to help out. So far, I think I'm going to /love/ this year! With one exception. My ex-boyfriend is sitting next to me in 7th-hour Chemistry. Yeah. xP But maybe he'll stop being so emo and annoying and actually talk to me! ...Not gonna happen. D< So, I have a MySpace. Yes. A MySpace. I went against everything I believe in and I made myself a MySpace. If anyone cares, it's "http://www.myspace.com/asterisk_fox". Nyan... = w= I made a grunty! It's so cute! xD It's wearing a hat... :'D Hm... Well, I had a /really/ bad day yesterday. Band Camp sucked. Everyone was telling me that I sucked... I think it was... Lindsey, our band director's wife, that said I was worse than all of the freshmen, including the 8th-grader that we had with us. I wanted to cry so bad when I heard her say that. Actually, I /did/ cry when I got home... It was bad. And Mom keeps trying to make me feel better, but it's only making it worse. She always does that, too. xD I mean, when we first learned work, of course I was having trouble. We had just learned it. And she comes over to me and says, "You're doing something wrong, Honey." Y'think? O.o And then last night she was all, "Just practice more! I don't think you suck. Just get together with Brenna!" Brenna is one of the reasons I sucked so bad yesterday. I mean, she is the flag captain, and whenever I ask for help, she gets annoyed or mad at me because I don't know the work. If she would help me, maybe I /would/ know the work!!! D< GRR!!!!!! Personally, I think she's letting the whole "flag captain" thing go to her head. Either that, or she's taking out her anger on me because she didn't make riffle line. Whatever. At this point, I think it was a mistake for me to join the color guard. I don't know what was better, constantly being told be my Mom how fat I was and that I needed something physical to balance my life, or having to be told that I suck at something that I really love. Yeah, I'm not good at team things, and that's why I didn't join the guard until now, but I don't enjoy doing things by myself unless I know I can do better that way. I'm not the type of person that does well with physical activities, unlike Kokutan. She's /great/ at guard. Oh! That reminds me of another thing that I have to get off my chest... Sorrys, by the way, to those of you reading this. Mom keeps comparing me to Kokutan! "She practices every day and look how good she is!" and "Kokutan knows what she's doing. Ask her for some help." Kokutan has been in guard longer than me, and she's been good at it from the very start. Yeah, she practices, and so do I! I can't get to Kokutan's level at this point. And I /do/ ask Kokutan for help! I do! But she is on the riffle line, and doesn't do everything that I might need help with, because I'm a flag. How is she supposed to help me wit something that she, herself, doesn't even know? "Do to Brenna, then," Mom says. I /have/ gone to Brenna, and she doesn't help! She just gets mad at me, or ignores me, or /something/. - takes a deep breath - Okay... I'm done. - sighs - I'm not sure if I want to continue with Color Guard after this year. I mean, I'll go on to Winter Guard after the marching season is over, but I'm not sure if I'll continue with either of them my senior year. So far, I don't think I'll do the marching season next year. I don't have any experience with winter guard, so I'll wait to make my decision on that. Well, I'm changing my MyO layout to Utawarerumono. This pink is getting annoying. ~Nove saying... I want my puppies... ; ^;

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