Saturday, April 8, 2006

I'll write nothing in particular today just that I am tired tired that most of the people around me doesn't realise how much sad I am... in this year I've almost lost everything and I didn't done anything for it exept for THE insult I made throwing that apart, I haven't done anything wrong to lose my Girlfriend to break my DS to fail my math test to be mentaly fucked up to lose my dreams to have my soul stolen away why does anyone see this...why can't anybody see through my heart and understand me? I am tired of everything and I don't think I deserve to be called strong the insult I've did to him reveal one of my greatest weakness and I am also tired of boredom..I can't have fun no matter what I do since some days I am tired of eerything tired that my ex is evil with me tired that she blocks me tired of her... yet...when she came to drain my soul, when she ditched me away once there were nothing left to drain, she left a scar that will never heal no matter what I do, I can't get her out of my mind... and she hates me....even if I tried my best to be kind to her even after all the mean things she have done this sucks hard this is all I had to say that my heart is broken that my soul was drained that my mind isn't straight that I am confused if Sarah's purpose from the beginning was to break me into pieces, she was successfull highly successfull ARE YOU HAPPY NOW THAT YOU HAVE RUINED ME?...WHAT WILL YOU DO NEXT?...DO THE SAME THING ON ANOTHER POOR INNOCENT PERSONS if it was from me I would impeach you from meeting anyone...the way you threated me proves that you don't understand what love is AND that you proves to have no heart at all...no heart to feel.... yes I am crazy....because of you I became paranoid and psychotic and yes...I blame it all on you YOU made me parano and because of YOU i became a psycho because of YOU I became insane I HATE YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE I HATE YOU FOR HAVING TRANSFORMING ME ... I am only posting there to complain I am sorry but this is the last place where I can spit all out I got no one to talk to the week my parents don't fully understand so Myotaku is the only place that I can spit ALL out without worrying so that's what I did beside....who does that Interest to know about my daily life? well....Myotaku is my little personnal diary that everyone can read but no one can see me...so that's good with me

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Friday, April 7, 2006

freaking goddamnit

many things happened discovered that one friend I had faith in....was nothing but a jerk I tell you now I tend to act more feminine than masculine....like...when I see a cute little cat...I tend to have a feminine reaction and...I cry.....well...because of a proverb I've learned Braves cry when they feel the need to only true cowards fear their own tears and I thank shadowcastbydusk for that awesome line well...when I feel the need to cry I cry and feel better after but it happened that the "friend" I had faith in is nothing but a macho testosterone filled jerk he is homophobiac(or wathever it's calleD) he hates gay people(kfor a stupid reason) and he think I am gay....the bastard....he made fun of me in front of many people in the bus...that pissed me off well...I usually get angry for nothing and tend to talk out too loud...no I am niot violent but this time I had a reason to be pissed and I insulted his most precious value the honor Ricky is his name...a Samurai freak who try to have honor...I insulted his honor and almost had a fight with him because of that I apologized for my terrible manners toward him and hoped he would understand no... he refused to hear my apologies and instead menaced me on the phone... and said I was lucky because Fury (my best friend) saved me a beat up what makes me hate him is that I never though he would act in such a childish "Yo" way and that because I said a word without thinking....I would have my everybones break so...I hate him he really think I amscared of him the damn bastard he is stronger than me and think he can easely beats me...but he just don'T understand how dangerous I am at kung-fu so....he gave up the idea to beat me but for a reason, I wished I had a fight with him and teach him a lesson because I believe than I win or lose against him, he would realise his mistake so yeah..there is only two people I feel hatred for in this world the ex of my mother and him who,I discovered, is a closely exact replica of the ex of my mother so that's what happened...I feel better writting this and realising it because I have good friends message to Sarah: sorry if I insulted you....don't shout at me on my site please....and...I said you write awfull because you write awful...I am as broken as youa nd I write in a decent way MSN language kills me when overused sorry but it just annoy me to see this ohh...one last thing even though..it happens again(you know what) nom matter what...I am your friend just don't act like you want me to hate you because....even though you are gone from my heart...you left a mark...a burning mark that makes me never forget about you no matter how we are...friends or lovers...I always need you...and this time this is as a friend that I need you I plan on having a good weekend...even though it will rain all the freaking weekend I will have fun relaxing at my mother's house so..later everyone

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Wednesday, April 5, 2006

well...today, instead of writting the boring shit, I will just say that it snowed...and it's sucks because I don't want any snow anymore anyway...it seems rick will surely don't want to come so you will fury so this is it later

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Tuesday, April 4, 2006

I waked this morning with the hope we could be a nice warm and sunny FRIDAY *growl* we are thuesday with an even worse weather than it was yesterday- -" well...when I was in my last class yesterday, the weather changed to a cool apocalyptic grey sky why it is cool...well..because evry backgrounds fascinate me to a cool summer forest with sunshines piercing through the leafs to an apocalyptic vison of dead trees and grey skies this is always beautifull and yesterday WAS an apocalyptic BG...no leafs in the trees, yellow and dry grass...a small invisible rain and a dark sky that almost say: "this is the end of the world!!!!" so it was fun to watch through the windows of my french class.... then I got back from school and fell asleep the very second I sitted on my bed...was so tired then woke up half an hour later to eat another half an hour later to eat again another ten minutes because my friend called me on the phone...talking about writting something on ym computer and them put it on CD...I was too asleep to understand a word-_- then woke up an hour later at 8h00 in the afternoon and stayed like that....I called my friend fury to give him something back and then called my friend who called me so that he could repeat what he said earlier I then...runned the DVD of Kill bill 2(because I listened to the first one the last day) and got to sleep after that at around 1 A.M and suprisingly, I am alright at school now....not even tired I go in history in 20 minutes...my time runs out on the comp...so I write fast can't wait friday...can't wait easter break ohh...I invite my friend ricky for my weekend to my mother...sorry Fury...It would have been you but I promised him I would invite him once... and I am happy about it because I have plans for him and me we will make new weapons to fight the next time I can invite someone it will be you well......I thinked very much about my situation....and instead of being sad, I am happy.....happy to live yeah...life goes on... and that's it...not entirely able to accept what hapenned 2 weeks ago already(damn....this goes too fast)...but there's no hope for me with her anymore...beside, I don't love her anymore she change too much... she is no longer who she was when I met her and even though it seem mean, I think she is too immature so I look at someone else more mature and noooo Sarah...it's not a guy I am not and will not be gay even though you think I can become gay not that I have anything against gay if I was I would assume it and accept myself but I am just not... and not bi either so shut up Sarah(lol) that was a joke so don't be mad I amm in a good mood today like yesterday the only thing I hate is that I don't have internet to chat with my friends. and that I can't go out my parent's freak out about my studies and want me to stay inside so that I don't disconnect from school I am already disconnected from school anyway...I study and do my work just so that I don't fail my grade but I cannot be more into school than that besdie, after all my homeworks, I got plenty of free time to see my friends...but my parents just don'T want me to be out....no matter what I say- - they REALLy think I will fail if I begin to have fun- - so I am bored at home after school ...well...not bored...I got many things to do but I still wish to be with my friends*sigh* anyway...it's an awfull lot that I writted there so I stop now shall be here this weekend this is the only advantage of my weektime boredom....I can REALY enjoy weekend^^ so... later....

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Monday, April 3, 2006

Back at school my friends...

and I'm bored but yesterday was pretty fun I went to Gabe's place and we played Tales of Symphonia for a good time I was able to talk to a certain someone... and I watched Kill Bill vol 1 at home...then my friedn Ricky went back from his mother and he found my glasses on his frontyard damn glasses...I need them to see far...so if I didn't had them it would have been a pain to look at the blackboard...and they were pretty usefull when I watched the stars yesterday^^ anyway...that does my yesterday's day today is...school...and....boring.....but when it's over it's....boring too I don't have internet...can't hang with my friends so can't talk to them so I'm all alone *sob*.....and nothing to do a t home except working at my few computers prject(like my ToS/ToP fanfic) so yeah...it's about all I had to say I am in a good mood but tired....and a little bit down since it's so Grey outside not the cool thunderstorm announcing grey clouds the ugly clear grey that announce an ugly rain I hate that weather so yeah...I can't wait this weekend....later

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Sunday, April 2, 2006

I made a fanart

I give you a link this instant: Here it is I did it when I was in history...from my mind so there's surely some missing things.but I did my best and yeah...I made him not enough large..he is usually more buckled up anyway vote and comment^^ well...today is sunday...not very funny but well...anyway don't want to talk very much so bye

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Saturday, April 1, 2006

today is saturday in the vening yeah well a message to Sarah I've been able to point what's freaking annoying me on you you become a teen that seems stupid but this is it you become the average teen and it's annoying me it seems stupid and heartless but it's not you act with me like I am mere shit...and don't try to deny it because it's clear to everyone..including ALL my friends, that you don't act ina good way with me you refuse my help you act arrogant and mean you fake your happiness you refuse to hear the truth well be it I won't be your friend if you really want to be like that your mind is all messed up and I can't understand how the fuck you think and it's annoying me you won't open yourself to me FINE I got no further business with you you'll come back when you'll have maturized a bit because your immaturity just....make me hate you and you know I don'T want to hate anyone it's better that we are not friends...so that will spare me all the trouble of suffering for you when you cannot even stop and think about how I feeled toward all of what happened the last days sorry Sarah if I made you sad but I have all the reasons to hate you if you want them I wrote them all ona little text thing and I'll be happy to give them to you don't worry..there's nothing mean just the logical reasons that I hope you will understand *sigh*...and I know I will pas for the bad guy here....sorry if you all think like that but I am tired losing my energy trying to help her when she just plain refuse to listen to me so that's it for how I feel and now for today I made a fanart of the mighty Lord Dhaos like him or DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I give you a link this instant: Here it is I did it when I was in history...from my mind so there's surely some missing things.but I did my best and yeah...I made him not enough large..he is usually more buckled up anyway vote and comment^^

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Friday, March 31, 2006

well...today is GREAT it's sunny.....it's hot...it's spring and it's FRIDAY WOOOOOOOOOOOOOT last day of SCHOOL....I am happy! well....yeah...I am not pissed off today....since a certain person haven't repied to me...and even if that certain person is still mean with me I don't care she was arrogant with me the whole last weekend so if she want to play the little miss bitchy...I just won't lose my breath I don't care talking to people who don't respect me so yeah.....I feel good and it's anime tonight....I hope they wil be good..last time was just...boring..anyway it's about all I had to say ohhh yeah..one last thing though... I beated Dhaos...and I am almost sorry about it! well...I am sorry about it....he's a videogame villain of course but when he said: " Derris Karran my mother world....all your prayers you gave me my people, I still can fight and the little music that start that almost mean"one last hope" >I already knew Dhaos was fighting to save his world...but I never felt so sad before when I beated him because for the first time, dhaos REALLY seemed to fight for a good cause...he seemed desperate and brave....he seemed ready to give his all to save his world but I wanted to finish the game so I beated him anyway...but all the way I was fighting him I was sad and I felt sorry ...because it's like I doomed his planet to eternal sufferance but at least...there is an happy ending for everyone..including Dhaos and his world....but I won't say..it's pure spoiler so yeah rest in peace Dhaos...you deserve it because you fought until the end^^ anyway..bye

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Thursday, March 30, 2006

yeah well if you look at Sarah's last comment I am still pissed offf enough already with the freaking insults!!! I am not as cool as your stupid character in your novel? well this is saaaaad!! anyway...don't want to lose my breath on a stupidity I'm zen I'm zen okay today...math exam...I am also sorry I don't get much time to see the updates of my friend well gotta go noiw bye

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Wednesday, March 29, 2006

   I'm pissed off

Sarah comment over Fury's site over Naia's site not mine come and say me you care about me...I don't believe you yeah you got nothing to say yeah right like you got more things to say to Gab and Naia am I just...existing to you? don't lie to me you pissed me off yeah it's just a freaking comment on a site for me this is just the proof that I dropped very low into your list of importance!!!! sorry Sarah but you really fdo anything to piss me off since you dumped me....you don't answer my mails you don't answer my PMs you don't come to my site you don'T talk to me on MSN tell me that I am still important to you...I don't know if I should believe you!!!! yeah I am pissed off for a little affair...but to me it's just the meaning that I just don't exist anymore I still come to your site and comment...why you just don't come to mine and comment? especially one week ago when I asked if you were feeling better you didn't answered when I asked WHY you didn't answered you didn't even answered to this one look Sarah...tell me now if you just don't want to see me...I will just go away and forget you well....you'll surely answer that I am a paranoid freak, but if you don't want me to believe that, don't give me reasons to do so!!! because even though it's seem stupid, I felt very insulted to see you commented on Gabe's site and not mine yes this is an insult if you don't answer that one I don't know if I'll ever talk to you again that's it for now goodbye

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