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Friday, April 7, 2006


freaking goddamnit





many things happened

discovered that one friend I had faith in....was nothing but a jerk

I tell you now

I tend to act more feminine than masculine....like...when I see a cute little cat...I tend to have a feminine reaction

and...I cry.....well...because of a proverb I've learned

Braves cry when they feel the need to
only true cowards fear their own tears

and I thank shadowcastbydusk for that awesome line

well...when I feel the need to cry I cry and feel better after


but it happened that the "friend" I had faith in is nothing but a macho testosterone filled jerk

he is homophobiac(or wathever it's calleD) he hates gay people(kfor a stupid reason)

and he think I am gay....the bastard....he made fun of me in front of many people in the bus...that pissed me off

well...I usually get angry for nothing and tend to talk out too loud...no I am niot violent

but this time I had a reason to be pissed

and I insulted his most precious value

the honor

Ricky is his name...a Samurai freak who try to have honor...I insulted his honor and almost had a fight with him because of that

I apologized for my terrible manners toward him and hoped he would understand

no...

he refused to hear my apologies and instead menaced me on the phone...

and said I was lucky because Fury (my best friend) saved me a beat up

what makes me hate him is

that I never though he would act in such a childish "Yo" way

and that because I said a word without thinking....I would have my everybones break

so...I hate him

he really think I amscared of him the damn bastard

he is stronger than me and think he can easely beats me...but he just don'T understand how dangerous I am at kung-fu

so....he gave up the idea to beat me

but for a reason, I wished I had a fight with him

and teach him a lesson

because

I believe than I win or lose against him, he would realise his mistake

so yeah..there is only two people I feel hatred for in this world

the ex of my mother

and him

who,I discovered, is a closely exact replica of the ex of my mother

so that's what happened...I feel better writting this and realising it

because I have good friends


message to Sarah:

sorry if I insulted you....don't shout at me on my site please....and...I said you write awfull because you write awful...I am as broken as youa nd I write in a decent way

MSN language kills me when overused

sorry but it just annoy me to see this

ohh...one last thing
even though..it happens again(you know what)
nom matter what...I am your friend
just don't act like you want me to hate you
because....even though you are gone from my heart...you left a mark...a burning mark that makes me never forget about you

no matter how we are...friends or lovers...I always need you...and this time this is as a friend that I need you

I plan on having a good weekend...even though it will rain all the freaking weekend

I will have fun relaxing at my mother's house

so..later everyone

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