myOtaku.com: Omusubi

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1990-07-26
Gender
• Female
Location
• McKees Rocks, Pennsylvania
Member Since
• 2005-01-05
Occupation
• K-12 Student
Real Name
• If you guess I'll give you a cookie! =D

Personal

Achievements
• I've got a pulse?
Anime Fan Since
• My cousin sat me infront of Sailor Moon and actually held my eyes open everyday until I watched it on my own. Didn't take long. I think I was seven.
Favorite Anime
• Fruits Basket, Full Metal Alchemist, Marmalade Boy
Goals
• -are for me to know, and you to find out when I accomplish them.
Hobbies
• Roleplaying, sketching, gaming, reading/writing, bowling
Talents
• I'll sit you down and make you one helluva meal. =3 In other words: Cooking

myOtaku.com: Omusubi

Monday, July 4, 2005

(no subject)
God am I confused. What else is new, right? But this isn't the usual lost state of mind. So many figures of my past are coming back into my mind, into my life, and all at once. I don't know if it's good or bad. I don't know if I want to see them again. I don't know if I want to feel the things I'm feeling.

I used to think I build up a personal firewall around myself that no form of emotion could break through. I thought I was safe from this feeling of ache, these feelings that are so familiar to me and yet to forien.

I'm so confused. My future is so hazy right now. I don't know what to do. I don't know who I should be, what I should be focusing on, or really even who I am right now. Being oblivious of yourself in the future is normal, but what if all of a sudden you figure out you don't know who you are now?

Things are becoming different. Change is infecting my lifestyle. No, I'm not exactly happy. But I'm not in a state of total melancholy either. I'd rather continue living my dull life than return to that hurtful and uncertain passage of time.

I don't have anyone to ask for advice. I don't have anyone to give me the answers. There's no practice shots, no going back because you made a mistake. This is life... You must be risky and impulsive to survive it in a state of true bliss. But I'm not either of those. Even when I do try to, I weigh my options infront of me, and I go with the easier path.

I don't swim the river, I walk ten miles downstream to the bridge. But more often than not the bridge gives way when I'm halfway across, and I get washed away by the rapids.

Maybe playing it safe isn't so smart. Maybe I should try and renew my faith in these people, this person, and dive head first. Afterall, it's better to expect the plung to be caught off guard, right?

Ugh. It's late at night and my profound personality is emerging. I'm not making any sense. I need to go to sleep... And yet I know I won't be able to do that.

I have too much on my mind.

Myste / July 4th / 5AM
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