As all of you who actually read this have come to know by now, or if you don't you will real fast, my weekend was rather dull. I listened to music, watched some of Full Metal Panic, and stuff. I was also working on a little script(sort used on the web), but it still needs work. Oh well, so is the life of me. Today wasn't too bad. Trig was easy, just verifying identities. I think I've established myself as the smartest(and fastest) in the class judging by my grades and that I always seem to finish first. I think it even caught the teacher's eye, which sucks; I don't need any attention. I slept and did the little bit of trig homework I was given in English while I was supposed to be watching Macbeth. Gym seems to be getting easier. I didn't die in there today. We Got To Play With Dominoes In Physics! We Do It Tomorrow Too!! yay!! I didn do anything after I got home today... go figure. Well, I'll stop annoying you so you can get back to your busy day now, ja
onewingedangel(9:45pm GMT-5)

Two friends from the Ozarks went hunting. When deep in the forest one of them stared shaking, turned pale, fell to the ground, thrashed around for a while and then lay still. His friend was startled and worried. He had no first aid training and did not know what to do. His friend had obviously had a seizure and perhaps had fainted or died. He got out his cell phone and dialed a hospital in the nearest large city. He described to the emergency room nurse what had happened and said that he was afraid that his friend had died. The nurse told him to keep calm and make sure that his friend was really dead. There was a pause. The nurse heard a shot. The hunter came back on the phone and said, "Okay, I did that. Now what?"

What Famous Leader Are You?.

What Classic Movie Are You?.

I started working on that site for Flava again recently. It would be great if it could be quickly finished. I could use some good character bios(for characters that don't already have good ones, either original or copied exactly with the url it was taken from), good images(preferably 350px by 250px, taller would be okay, wider is a no-no, this is unless it's huge, just so long as it's reasonably proportional to that). If you have or could get any of these(pretty please!!) email them to bloodyangelz0@toughguy.net thank you, and it'd be great if you could spread this around, I can really use the help. It took many hours to get what's there now.... and I only got around a fourth of it. Thank you!!

This week has been relatively crappy. I've been sick and stuff, not really sick but it isn't helping any. Symptoms are slight cough, headache, fatigue, dry mouth, sore mucusy throat, and nasial congestion. I've also had more nosebleeds than usual lately. Two in the last two days. Physics has been relatively easy this week. It was all rotational motion stuff. Trig was easy too. Today we had a quiz. It covered solving triangles(through the use of law of sines and law of cosines), It also had us find their area(A=1/2(ab)sinC and Herons formula), and also find the magnitude and direction of vectors. I aced it... I was also the first one done by a mile. Gym killed me this week. It seemed I had been slowly getting used to it.. then i got sick and it got worse than ever. English class is lame as ever. That's all it is... just - plain - lame. I haven't done a whole lot at home. I've been listening to music a good bit(mostly in flames,nirvana, and a perfect circle). I'm also beginning to rewatch Full Metal Panic. Well, I'm almost done now. I'm up to 18 of 24. The rest of my life is the laying around in boredom, and creaming my brother playing air hockey. I beat him 50-17 yesterday and 100-42 today. I can't really think of much else to say. If I missed anything(fat chance) I'll say it later. Ja
~onewingedangel(9:40pm)

Mc Donalds Job Application

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida...and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.



PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

I'm Tim!




Which Robert & Tim Show Character Are You?

by bastard_king & evil_mr_tim

I may as well sum up the last few days. For the most part on the weekend I didn't do a lot. I found myself mostly listening to music as always, watching anime, instant messaging people, and one thing out of whack; I spent massive amounts of time working on the site mentioned in the previous post, of which I've now added another page or two. Today was another normal day, though it was a monday hell. Before I left this morning i had trouble finding anything at all. Turns out I had left my calculator at home. So I didn't have my calculator to use in trig or physics ><. Gym was equally bad. The teacher changed the reps again, now it's 10 for first set, 8 for second set, and 6 for third set, used to be 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, before that it was 5, 5, 5 ,5 ,5 and before that 3,3,3. When will he make up his looney mind? This is the worst of them yet. My arms and legs are limp. My gracious insults go out to the benchpress, preachers curl, tricep thingabobs(yes, that is a word...my word), seated rows, Squats, and leg extensions. After I got home I decided to be really lazy and do nothing, so that's what I'm doing now. I'll probably throw up a joke, a few quizzes, and then leave for the night, ja.
~onewingedangel (10:15PM)

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism."

"Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people." "The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

Which Enemy of the Christian Church Are You?

I started working on that site for Flava again recently. It would be great if it could be quickly finished. I could use some good character bios(for characters that don't already have good ones, either original or copied exactly with the url it was taken from), good images(preferably 350px by 250px, taller would be okay, wider is a no-no, this is unless it's huge, just so long as it's reasonably proportional to that). If you have or could get any of these(pretty please!!) email them to bloodyangelz0@toughguy.net thank you, and it'd be great if you could spread this around, I can really use the help. It took many hours to get what's there now.... and I only got around a fourth of it. Thank you!!

My Site

• Processor: Intel Pentium IV at 2.0 GHz
• Hard Drive: 120 GB
• RAM: 256MB DDR-SDRAM
• Mouse: standard ps/2 mouse
• Keyboard: standard ps/2 keyboard
• Monitor: Viewsonic brand 17" viewable CRT monitor
• 3.5" Drive: generic floppy drive
• Disc Drive 1: 48x CDROM Drive
• Disc Drive 2: 48x/24x/48x CD-RW Drive
• Sound: Altec Lansing Satellite Speakers w/subwoofer
• Video card: ATI Radeon, 128MB DDR

• Operating Systems: Microsoft Windows XP(sadly), Mandrake Move Linux
• Instant messaging: AIM(w/deadaim v3.0 plugin), Yahoo messenger, MSN Messenger(w/ msgplus plugin)
• IRC clients: mIRC 6.12 hybrid Sysreset 2.53, X-Chat
• Media playing software: Musicmatch Jukebox, Winamp v2, Winamp v5, Windows Media Player, Quicktime, Realone player, DivX player
• Image editing software: Paint, Jasc Paintshop Pro
• Image viewing software: ACDSee v3
• Programming UtilitiesMicrosoft Visual Basic 6 Professional Editon, Borland C++ Builder 5, Netbeans IDE v3.5.1(For Java)
• Office Software: Open Office, Microsoft Works
• Internet Browsers: Mozilla Firefox v0.8, Mozilla Firebird v0.7, Netscape v7, Internet Explorer v6, Opera v7
• Mail programs: Mozilla Thunderbird, Outlook Express
• codec/filter packs: Nimo codec pack, Tsunami Filter pack

Between yesterday and today very little has happened. I've been attending school unwillfully as always. I've even been doing my homework. I found out I got a 98% on that trig test the other day and I'm passing the class with an A, that's not too bad considering I had a 68% at early warning(we're not to the interum yet). Gym has me feeling dead all of the time. Every day of the week except maybe Sunday. I've been extremely bored lately too. I should probably cut this post short and work on my essay for english that is due tomorrow, and my trig homework... and my physics homework... and my english homework ><. Well, bye
~onewingedangel (5:33PM EST)

The complaint:

Ms.B.Haven;

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor.

I work at great depths.

I plunge head first into everything I do.

I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

I work in a damp environment.

I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

I work in high temperatures.

My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

The response:

Dear Penis;

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.

You fall asleep after brief work periods.

You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.

You must be stimulated in order to start working.

You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.

You will retire well before you are 65.

You are unable to work double shifts.

You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.

And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,

The Management

---

What Starbucks Drink Are You?

I started working on that site for Flava again recently. It would be great if it could be quickly finished. I could use some good character bios(for characters that don't already have good ones, either original or copied exactly with the url it was taken from), good images(preferably 350px by 250px, taller would be okay, wider is a no-no, this is unless it's huge, just so long as it's reasonably proportional to that). If you have or could get any of these(pretty please!!) email them to bloodyangelz0@toughguy.net thank you, and it'd be great if you could spread this around, I can really use the help. It took many hours to get what's there now.... and I only got around a fourth of it. Thank you!!

Today was rather slow, hellish, and boring. The schedule was off today among other things. I had a test in trig which took the full 82 minutes. English was the usual bore. Gym was more weight lifting. It'll be that until it's over too. Physics we got our quizzes back and watched a little video.

I haven't done a whole lot since I arrived at home. I've been listening to music and resisting the temptation of sleep. Oh yeah, did I mention I'm a day older, and a year older too. New number now, 18. I had an enourmous peice of angelfood cake and some ice cream(vanilla with reeses chunks and fudge throughout it). I havne't done anything since then either. Such a boring birthday. Well at least I managed to get around $110. Not too bad though I'm now one year closer to old as dirt. Well I'll be going now
~onewingedangel (7:55PM EST)

I started working on that site for Flava again recently. It would be great if it could be quickly finished. I could use some good character bios(for characters that don't already have good ones, either original or copied exactly with the url it was taken from), good images(preferably 350px by 250px, taller would be okay, wider is a no-no, this is unless it's huge, just so long as it's reasonably proportional to that). If you have or could get any of these(pretty please!!) email them to bloodyangelz0@toughguy.net thank you, and it'd be great if you could spread this around, I can really use the help. It took many hours to get what's there now.... and I only got around a fourth of it. Thank you!!

A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the Caribbean. It was the “craziest” thing he had ever done in his life. Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the huge ship, capsizing it like a child's toy. Somehow the engineer, desperately hanging on to a life preserver, managed to wash ashore on a secluded island.

Outside of beautiful scenery, a spring-fed pool, bananas and coconuts, there was little else. He lost all hope and for hours on end and sat under the same palm tree. One day, after several months had passed, a gorgeous woman in a small rowboat appeared.

“I'm from the other side of the island,” she said. “Were you on the cruise ship, too?”

“Yes, I was,” he answered. “But where did you get that rowboat?”

“Well, I whittled the oars from gum tree branches, wove the reinforced gunnel from palm branches, and made the keel and stern from a Eucalyptus tree.”

“But, what did you use for tools?” asked the man, amazed.

“There was a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed on the south side of the island. I discovered that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. Anyhow, that's how I got the tools. But, enough of that,” she said. “Where have you been living all this time? I don't see any shelter.”

“To be honest, I've just been sleeping on the beach,” he said.

“Would you like to come to my place?” the woman asked. The engineer nodded dumbly. She expertly rowed them around to her side of the island, and tied up the boat with a handsome strand of hand-woven hemp topped with a neat back splice. They walked up a winding stone walk she had laid and around a Palm tree. There stood an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.

“It's not much, but I call it home.” Inside, she said, “Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?”

“No, thanks,” said the man. “One more coconut juice and I'll throw up!”

“It won't be coconut juice,” the woman replied. “I have a crude still out back, so we can have authentic Pina Coladas.”

Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted the drink, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged stories, the woman asked, “Tell me, have you always had a beard?”

“No,” the man replied, “I was clean shaven all of my life until I ended up on this island.”

“Well if you'd like to shave, there's a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet.”

The man, no longer questioning anything, went upstairs to the bathroom and shaved with an intricate bone-and-shell device honed razor sharp. Next he showered -- not even attempting to fathom a guess as to how she managed to get warm water into the bathroom -- and went back downstairs. He couldn't help but admire the masterfully carved banister as he walked.

“You look great,” said the woman. “I think I'll go up and slip into something more comfortable.”

As she did, the man continued to sip his Pina Colada. After a short time, the woman, smelling faintly of gardenias, returned wearing a revealing gown fashioned out of pounded palm fronds.

“Tell me,” she asked, “We've both been out here for a very long time with no companionship. You know what I mean. Haven't you been lonely, too... isn't there something that you really, really miss? Something that all men and woman need? Something that would be really nice to have right now...?”

“Yes there is,” the man replied, shucking off his shyness. “There is something I've wanted to do for so long. But on this island all alone, it was just... well, it was impossible.”

“Well, it's not impossible, anymore,” the woman said.

The man, practically panting in excitement, said breathlessly: “You mean... you actually figured out some way we can CHECK OUR EMAIL HERE?!”

I actually did something this weekend*watches as the jaws drop to the floor*. I didn't doo a whole lot on the way there. I just listened to music and stared into space.

After arriving at my grandparents place we proceeded to raid the refrigerator first. I had some leftovers as did the rest of us. They talked a good bit. I really didn't say much. Then again I never talk much. I played games with my brother for a while. My cousin showed up some time around then. I had been listening to music doing pretty much nothing sprawled out on the couch. He kicks ass. He might have turned out to be nothing special.. but he still kicks ass. He's awesome. He's made some pretty loony decisions though. I never would have thought him the one to smoke...pot. It doesn't seem to have changed him much though. We played the gamecube for a while then he went home sometime after that. After he left I stayed up late listening to more music.

The next morning I slept in later than I should have. It took forever for them to drag me off of the couch. My cousin showed up sometime around then. We played the game cube for a while and then lunch was ready. He went out and "got hungry" then we all ate and stuff. After lunch me and Ryan went up and got a couple Dr. Peppers and watched a kickass movie. I do believe it is called Boondock Saints, you really need to see it if you haven't already. I especially like the two execution scenes. That's the two best executions I've ever seen. Simply the best. That movie is up there with The Matrix now on my list.

Soon after that I gathered the few things I had brought along. I found out I was given a bit of money for my birthday from my grandparents and from my aunt. I was given $65 and a $10 shopping card. I was also given a cake. It was an angel food one, my favorite kind it be. We had gone up there to pick up some furniture. It was my grandparents old stuff and they got new stuff so we get the old. It's in really flawless condition though, even if it's 10 years old. We were also given an air hockey table that my one cousin Carey never used. On the way home I listend to music and such. Probably blew out my eardrums listening to Ramstein as I nearly fell asleep.

My dad and i carried everything in a couple hours ago. It consisted of a bunch of bags, a rug, the air hockey table, a big chair, a sofa, and a couch. I haven't done much since then. I've been iming people a lot and that is now comign to an end seeing as the one person talking is going to bed early because she is pretty sick at the moment. I'll spend the rest of the time I'm awake doing my physics homework and listening to Nirvana I suppose(Kurt Cobain is god...period). I'll be going now, This post is long enough already. OWA signing out (11:27PM EST)

I started working on that site for Flava again recently. It would be great if it could be quickly finished. I could use some good character bios(for characters that don't already have good ones, either original or copied exactly with the url it was taken from), good images(preferably 350px by 250px, taller would be okay, wider is a no-no, this is unless it's huge, just so long as it's reasonably proportional to that). If you have or could get any of these(pretty please!!) email them to bloodyangelz0@toughguy.net thank you, and it'd be great if you could spread this around, I can really use the help. It took many hours to get what's there now.... and I only got around a fourth of it. Thank you!!

Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or
"Boy." I call mine Sex.

Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I
went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I
told the clerk I would like to have a license for
Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one, too." Then I
said, "But this is a dog!" He said he didn't care
what she looked like. Then I said, "But you don't
understand. I've had Sex since I was nine years
old." He said I must have been quite a kid.

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I
took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that
I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special
room for Sex. He said every room in the place was
for sex. I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps
me awake at night!" The clerk said, "Me too."

One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before
the competition began, the dog ran away. Another
contestant asked me why I was just standing there
looking around. I told him I had planned to have
Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold
my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I
said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He called
me a show-off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to
fight custody of the dog. I said, "Your honor, I
had Sex before I was married." The judge said,
"Me too." Then I told him that after I was
married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too."

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours
looking around town for him. A cop came over
to me and asked, "What are you doing in this
alley at 4:00 in the morning?" I said, "I'm
looking for Sex."

My case comes up Friday.

I started working on that site for Flava again recently. It would be great if it could be quickly finished. I could use some good character bios(for characters that don't already have good ones, either original or copied exactly with the url it was taken from), good images(preferably 350px by 250px, taller would be okay, wider is a no-no, this is unless it's huge, just so long as it's reasonably proportional to that). If you have or could get any of these(pretty please!!) email them to bloodyangelz0@toughguy.net thank you, and it'd be great if you could spread this around, I can really use the help. It took many hours to get what's there now.... and I only got around a fourth of it. Thank you!!

Not too much went on yesterday either. I of course had school as always. We went over something easy in trig today, solving right triangles, too easy. English we didn't really do anything. The teacher had been lazy up til now and used it as her personal catch up day... and another essay ><. Gym killed me, my arms are still sore, damned preacher's curl ><. We watched a little video in physics and went over an assignment. On the bus home I was being driven nuts by all the people. Damn do I hate being near large groups of people, especially when I'm surrounded. I nearly fell asleep on there again. It was a close call.

When I got home yesterday I was dead bored. I played Final Fantasy Four for a while. It's a good game. A classic in its own right. I found myself listening to music and staring into space quite a bit too. Later on I watched Top Gun for the millionth time. Then I eventually fell Asleep.

I have plans for this weekend for once. Me... and my parents/sibling are going back to Pennsylvania for a couple of days. I'm not going to have much to do up there. I'll probably take all the cds i have laying around me(In Flames, Disturbed, Drowning Pool, The Offspring, Pennywise, A Perfect Circle, Evanescence, and Megadeth, several of some of those) and some movies as well. I'll definitely have to take my homeworks, trig, physics, and the english essay. I'll probably be back Sunday Night and I won't be able to get around to anybodies pages today, probably not tomorrow night either. *flicks back of head and hears a hollow sound* [in a monotone voice] woooooooowwww. Well, bye then.

"Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes. What do you want?"

"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.

"Hey Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"

"Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yep."

"Merry Christmas Buddy"

Yes, my life is boring. Rub it in why don'tcha ><. It's just school again, but it certainly can't get better than it is, and it seems to be getting worse. Oh well *sighs*. Another boring day of trig today(on a good not I nearly finished my assignment in class). English was as boring as usual, more reading *yawns*. Gym sucked, really bad. In the locker room before we went out someone accidentally slammed my ankle with a skateboard, now it hurts like hell to walk. It didn't hurt much at first. The initial impact hurt then nearly nothing, but now several hours later it hurts like hell. Gym also sucked in the normal way too. I hate the weight room but I don't have much choice in the matter if I want to graduate. We went out to do a couple things in physics. Between me and a couple other people(but mostly me) we managed to burn up the time by going way off subject. After I got home I planted myself on my ass and haven't moved since. hmmm, tah tah for now.