Friday, November 5, 2004

cheesy poofs...the nothing post
well its been a while hasnt it? college...well its not so great because the work isnt happening. but otherwise i have to say that im happy- ive been having a great week but its mostly because of someone i met...but that another story.

my hands hurt today though- due to some ancient injury. the faction isnt really taking off though- mostly because i dont have enough time to implement it.

well other news...? oh yeah as far as i know you should with my bro luck- hes going for his grade 7 piano exam...i try to discourage him from doing it but he's really talented, heck hes only twelve but i'll post some of the pieces hes performed on my website incase anyone wants to hear him.

boring post but its just a stupid one- maybe i'll do some work now and make real posts after college is done- 26 Nov.
everyone take care of yourself until next time...
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Wednesday, October 27, 2004

abandoning madness for reason...
you know what people? i've decided that i just dont have enough time to look for the autumn spirit...no matter how important it is to me i just cant fit the search and college into one day. just from people at college ive already got hold of 15 potentials and i'm "interviewing" 2 of them tonight after i get home and tomorow morning...all i can do is hope though, i drew some pictures that were visuals in my dream ( i remember all my dreams vivdly so i have no problem recalling images). and anna you can just hold onto that key for a little longer- keep it safe under your pillow and i'll tell you when i need it as for now i need someone i can trust to keep it safe- and that person is you. the g/n isnt going well at all- ive only inked 12 pages out of 30 and i still have to paint each page in gouache and print it and uv it and bind it all for the 24th...alas i feel that this task is more then i can handle.

well everyone just take care of yourselves.
-J-
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Tuesday, October 26, 2004

In a dream...
I have a favour to ask…
I'm looking for someone, an entity that visited me in a dream…
I was told years ago that I should look for someone, that person is known as the autumn spirit.
The spirit visited me in a dream last night and I’m asking with all my heart that you may help me in my search. I never believed in destiny until now but it seems that my life is fitting together like a puzzle. I’m limited in what I can say as far as details go into the relation between my soul and the autumn spirit but I will tell them when I meet them. Please…I don’t want any people that are making false claims to be the autumn spirit- I know what they will be like, and I have tests to prove if they are genuine. Covering yourself in the disguise as the autumn spirit will only hurt me and whoever is claiming to be them so please just be true to yourself and me.
This will be a hard search but I am confident that one day I will find what I am searching for- everybody does eventually.

This may appear to be a strange post and my attitude may seem strange in comparison to my last post but I assure you that I’m absolutely serious. This could be a turning point in my life and the events that follow will be revolutionary.
I hope I’m not being selfish though…I’m just so excited. I don’t mind if you can’t help me though- this is really a difficult thing to ask all of you so please don’t go out of your way.

Well that’s today’s post so now its back to the drawing board. I just hope that all of you have a fantastic week and just try your best at everything you do.

(yeah I know it was a boring post, bear with me)

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Saturday, October 23, 2004

oh...funny- funny- funny
Ok I’ve been thinking about this faction and i jotted down a few points. now this is gonna be one hell of a strange post.
Ok firstly the one purpose of this faction is too go against cocky artists- now i know that this sounds a little strange but I have problem with them- but as i said this an initial draft and i'd rather prefer the opinions of the lovely people that are willing to join, so give some input. ok now for the no-no's:
1. you have to be clean- nobody likes smelly people so take a shower or bath once a day.
2. Always say 'i love you' to your mother- she's the only one you get.
3. No religious zealots allowed
4. You cant be a cocky artist
5. Its preferable that you have a mind of your own but I’m sure that there’s a position for a dumbass sometime in the future (just kidding)
6. You can’t be toothless and have the name Billy bob.
There are more but they’ll be in the "contract".

What we stand for (2)

We are against the unnecessary decapitation and consumption of fish.
You can definitely NOT eat fish sticks! i catch you and i send you to fish-Styx.
We support running around like deranged lunatics. Must be able to perform a unique ability and teach it to others I.E. I’m good at working with ink and I’m also good at sequential story telling (graphic novel illustration) where as you may be good at some other ability like for instance exploding your head or spontaneous combustion- I would love to learn how to blow my head up providing that i also learn how to regenerate it. You have to do the hockey pokey every morning before you do anything else...

By the way- most if not all that I’ve said here has been a big joke.

FRIVOLITY- I LOVE IT! HAHAHA

ok onto other matters.
college is err well not going too great- I haven’t even finished 7 pages out of 30 for my graphic novel which is due in on 24 nov- this is going to take everything i have.
not only that but I haven’t finished rigging my 3D cowboy dude for the 3Ds max project where we are required to make a 30 second animation where we make a biped(human type character) perform 3 actions i.e. run, jump, sneak. oh man I’m gonna be eating bullets but that not all (don’t I just sound like one of those dumb info-mercial people), we also have to do a 60 second claymation production where 2 character interact.

well that’s the low-down...how am I, you ask? well i guess im sorta ok surviving on 3 hours sleep every night but otherwise I’m just carrot (carrot is now the official new word for fine). but what you should be asking yourself is "are you feeling lucky…punk"..."well are ya?" anyway you'll be ok- I’m not gonna mince you in your sleep or anything.

But I am proud to present to you the jacket cover of my "BLUE DAWN" graphic novel. Enjoy- a LOT of paint went into the A3 paper. But also tell me what you think,

We do the hockey pokey and we turn ourselves around- THATS WHAT LIFE'S ALL ABOUT!



BLUE DAWN
Volume one: convictions of a latent theology

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Thursday, October 21, 2004

faction
well judging by the headline you probably already know what this post is about...

just in case you dont of course:
i have decided to (attempt) to start a faction...now im not sure wha the criteria will be of this faction and a name has yet to be decided but depending on how many people decide to join me- i think it will be quite a nifty little club and theres bound to be free stuff (hint hint) well maybe. but of course it will be exclusive.

im at college- gotta go but just be sure to let me know how many people wopuld be at least interested in joining.
i might upload a bit of my graphic novel sometime soon but until then just keep well.

baby kitten pukes on my shirt...die little creature of satan.
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Friday, October 15, 2004

WHAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok this has gone far enough! you know that project that i got 88% for? well anyway now one of the 2nd year students has gone and taken the ideas that i illustrated in my work and used them for one of his own brief and doesnt even think twice about the wrong that he's done, sure some people would say that i'm lucky to have inspired someone to use my designs- thats crap. ITS A GODDAM FRICKEN DISGRACE- i spit in his face, and this isnt the first time its happened coz its also happened on the net. i mean honestly just slap me silly and call me supafly...how can someone do such a thing.

i wont inspire any action- i'll just let it pass but i wont forget it but enough of my anger. i must admit that ive been feeling my best since three months ago- its like ive been revitalised and now im back to my old self. but i have also decided that being in a relationship is too depressing for my life and that is why i feel so comfortable being alone- its because ive been alone for most of my life...that doesnt mean that one day i wont find a companion.

well as for the rest of the news- work is tough, home is good when im there, friends are er...well there arent any but heck its worth the mention, and well thats it.

the bunny's are hopping, and the anchovy's are swimming.
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Sunday, October 10, 2004

Kitsune Tsuki- a really good friend
You know it’s not often that one comes across those special kinds of people...
But every now and then you do. Kitsune Tsuki is one of those people...and she is a really good friend.

Kitsune Tsuki.....there are so many things that make her such a great person but I think one of the most special things about her is that she is real- she doesn’t pretend to be anyone...
But another thing that stands out in her personality is that she is a very caring person and I can not emphasise that enough. If I do recall correctly, she has posted a comment on almost (if not all) of my posts even though I barely get around to her site and not only does she comment but she says some of the sweetest things and those things can really make a person feel good inside. She is the kind of friend that everyone needs in their life, and I say friend in a very meaningful way because I’ve never really had any friends in my life.

There are so many ways to give a present though, but the best gift is one that is from the heart and those are the gifts that I’m so good at giving. My gift to you is one of creativity that was inspired by you; it’s a drawing that my emotions brought to life…each and every pen stroke is a visual embodiment of my soul- I just wish I had more time for the work itself so that it could be more. It’s done in a style that is a hybrid combination of the way I draw my animation and the style I use for my fine art= a semi-abstract/surrealism with a manga twist…except a little toned down from the usual hectic nature that I use and adopting more of a defined form (don’t worry if you don’t understand). I don’t have the time to give a formal analysis but just feel what it means to you. I’ll frame and post the picture to you as soon as I can but I’m sure the shipping will take a while, I’ll also send it with a letter and the analysis to you.

You really do deserve it so much and it was a pleasure…no, an honour to draw it for you as it means so much to me. Thank you just for everything because when I needed someone good to talk to then you were the there and that’s something special to me knowing that there’s someone that can listen.
Sometimes I wonder if its really people like you and me and all those other people that care that actually make this crazy mixed up universe of ours actually work.

Well that’s about it and for all the rest of you that I care about…you all have my heart so don’t feel left out in any way at all.
Until next time though, just be well.




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Monday, October 4, 2004

better
i must admit that i am feeling much better....and i have to say that my "recovery" is mostly due to the efforts of my great friends and for that i really do owe you a lot- people like krystle and andy and niki.....you are really great people.

anyway enough of the whole suck up thing. i am particularly happy today and my pride has been boosted up a few nothches...why, you ask? well i was informed today that i got the top result for my latest art assignment- a weapons and clothing design brief for our graphic novel characters...i truly speant so much time on it, i did about 15 times as much work than the rest of the class (even though i didnt have to, i even did my work when i went to visit my ex) and in the end it was definitely worth it...i just wish i could show you but each picture was either A2 or A1 size paper so you can understand. i got the mark of 88% which puts me in the league of the top 3 artists and have won the respect of my peers (and the jealousy of those who dont favour my presence)- it really was a great day for me.

on a small but more depressing note: im way behind on my graphic novel- its due in on 24 november and i havent even done 4 pages out of 60......im getting really worried about now.
oh by the way, we started to make a human (biped) character for our new 3ds max project but i'll tell more of this another time.

i did this short comic about 10 minutes ago...ok yes its really, really lame but its just a little thing that was on my mind. i doesnt exactly relate to me but just enjoy my efforts....come on! i know its stupid but that doesnt give you the right to bust my chops over it lol.
have a great day everyone and just remember:

toast is good...but there is so much more in life that burns so much better.



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Thursday, September 30, 2004

that gaping hole in my heart has reappeared...
i drew this quick 1 page manga today based on the events that happened to me when we broke up...i just had to do it, i feel so lonely so i have to make something physical to replace her but at the same time ruining my mental health by not being able to do anything but sit around and think about her.....i really am trying, i really am but that hole that i once had has grown back again and it hurts. just in case you dont know what im going on about- read my previous post.

i need to put the bottle down and pick up the pencil...



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Monday, September 27, 2004

we broke up..........
well i thought i found love but alas it was not meant to be...well maybe it was but certain aspects of our relationship seemed to be decaying: i became paranoid and nasty when she didnt show any interest and she became deceptive, broke my trust in her and didnt show any love. well she had been leading me on for what i believe to be a long time saying that she loved me when she really was going out with this other guy.
this weekend i visited her and she said that she just wanted to be friends... WHAT THE (PROFANITIES)!!! after someone has loved you for so long do you expect their sentiments to change over night- bump that! its not gonna happen. why do girls say that though (no offence to the famale readers) i mean honestly you brake the dudes heart and then you wait till the last minute when he's all broken to ask him to be your friend- now personally i believe that tactic to be very inconsiderate...but thats just me- im a sensitive and emotional guy, the least she couldve done was tell me a month ago. i never ever tried to hurt her and i was always there for her but just like a tissue: you use it then you turf it.....is that how its supposed to be? i would never had done something like that because i care for everyone before me (yes that was a bit over the top but i try my best).

i loved her so much and she meant the world to me, i was prepared to do anything for her but when i saw her she well seduced me (in a way)...but i never wanted anything sexual...i loved her for what she had inside. but still i will be there for her because i know that she will need someone to lean on and i need someone to support.

when she told me...i cried because thats how i am- i never had a childhood so i have an inner child locked in the depths of my soul, as i said i am emotional. i never stop thinking of her and its starting to get out of hand- getting in the way of my work...the broken shards of my heart penetrating my sout.......its destroying me so im gonna release her from myself.

i'll never fall in love again...it hurts too much.
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