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AIM
• smoothxlegato
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Birthday
• 1985-12-02
Gender
• Male
Location
• Johannesburg, South Africa
Member Since
• 2003-08-09
Occupation
• Commissioned artist, amateur writer
Real Name
• i have many names.....people who know me know what to call me but you can call me whatever you want- makes no difference to me (but people usually call me J)

Personal

Achievements
• I succeed in failing and fail in succeeding
Anime Fan Since
• whenever it was that i first watched it...but I am not a fan
Favorite Anime
• I do enjoy all of sunrise and hajime yatate productions...especially escaflowne, bebop, and scryed. also a fan of old school anime
Goals
• none of my goals are ever achieved. i have many...and that is the same as having none, i will only succeed at dying
Hobbies
• ...existing in an existential quandary full of loathing and self doubt
Talents
• I dont believe in talent- everything that i am good at i have worked hard to achieve that skill




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myOtaku.com: original J


Monday, September 27, 2004

we broke up..........
well i thought i found love but alas it was not meant to be...well maybe it was but certain aspects of our relationship seemed to be decaying: i became paranoid and nasty when she didnt show any interest and she became deceptive, broke my trust in her and didnt show any love. well she had been leading me on for what i believe to be a long time saying that she loved me when she really was going out with this other guy.
this weekend i visited her and she said that she just wanted to be friends... WHAT THE (PROFANITIES)!!! after someone has loved you for so long do you expect their sentiments to change over night- bump that! its not gonna happen. why do girls say that though (no offence to the famale readers) i mean honestly you brake the dudes heart and then you wait till the last minute when he's all broken to ask him to be your friend- now personally i believe that tactic to be very inconsiderate...but thats just me- im a sensitive and emotional guy, the least she couldve done was tell me a month ago. i never ever tried to hurt her and i was always there for her but just like a tissue: you use it then you turf it.....is that how its supposed to be? i would never had done something like that because i care for everyone before me (yes that was a bit over the top but i try my best).

i loved her so much and she meant the world to me, i was prepared to do anything for her but when i saw her she well seduced me (in a way)...but i never wanted anything sexual...i loved her for what she had inside. but still i will be there for her because i know that she will need someone to lean on and i need someone to support.

when she told me...i cried because thats how i am- i never had a childhood so i have an inner child locked in the depths of my soul, as i said i am emotional. i never stop thinking of her and its starting to get out of hand- getting in the way of my work...the broken shards of my heart penetrating my sout.......its destroying me so im gonna release her from myself.

i'll never fall in love again...it hurts too much.
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