Monday, December 13, 2004

the blues
Hey all! Its been a while hasn’t it?

All I can say is that its good to be back and yes I did miss you all, hope you didn’t miss me…whom I kinding of course you didn’t lol.
Well I got back from the beach at about 5:30am last Friday and I have to truly say that I really enjoyed it (especially since it’s the 1st time my grandmother never came with lol what a hag)
Im gonna have to simplify the story so here goes:
Day 1- got there, pool, beach, sun, sea, sleep
Day 2- woke up, cousin’s birthday, pool, started drawing my anime, beach, sea, long walk on the beach, party at night till late...
Day 3- stormy and windy weather, no sun…drew peoples pictures
Day 4- repeat previous except I drew out more of my anime and went shopping
Day 5- weather clears up a little, went seaside shopping for the first x-mas present I ever bought in my life, boozed up before the bus lol…a little going away thing, left for jo’burg at 10:15pm

The bus trips were terrible…im not great with sitting next to stinky obese people that have a need to share their boring life story with me not to mention telling me about the countless men on tv they want OMG all I wanted to do was sleep and she almost got me thinking that life was no longer worth living for another 7 hours…I was quite prepared to remove myself by desperately trying to fit through that tiny window.
Trip back was better…quiet guy like me who just finished 1st year engineering.

I may go more in depth with it at a later time and be sure to know that I shall upload some photos. Gifts will be posted soon…as soon as I get photos from 2 people that said they’d give me but unfortunately have not.

Ive been going to random sites lately and noticed that flaunting your depression and begging sympathy seem to be very popular topics for posts…is this true? Should I start doing it as well?
I most definitely have a lot of internal depression looming within my being but I don’t want any sympathy or such and such. I usually keep it all bottled up but im not sure…personally I don’t really enjoy reading about other peoples depression coz I its apparently my lifes mission to sort out other peoples issues and I seem to be growing somewhat tired of it after 14 years. But my depression isn’t about how school and teachers are eternally out to get me or friends are conspiring against me behind my back or ive got about 45 minutes to live or ive got some life threatening illness and I just want to die right now or my bills are so sky high that ive gotta sell my soul coz I just got fired from my fast food job any other material based depression.
My depression is a little more complicated- I don’t tell anybody about it and for good reason too: most people don’t care, the problem cant be solved, people usually get tired of listening and its highly personal…im very different on the inside, very complicated.

A bit of a strange post but itl get easier soon.
Well that concludes the post and yeah im just asking your opinion on the post thing. Im just telling you now that there may be some big changes around here and yeah you all just take care of yourselves ok?


Stubborn Rebellion


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