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AIM
• smoothxlegato
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Vitals

Birthday
• 1985-12-02
Gender
• Male
Location
• Johannesburg, South Africa
Member Since
• 2003-08-09
Occupation
• Commissioned artist, amateur writer
Real Name
• i have many names.....people who know me know what to call me but you can call me whatever you want- makes no difference to me (but people usually call me J)

Personal

Achievements
• I succeed in failing and fail in succeeding
Anime Fan Since
• whenever it was that i first watched it...but I am not a fan
Favorite Anime
• I do enjoy all of sunrise and hajime yatate productions...especially escaflowne, bebop, and scryed. also a fan of old school anime
Goals
• none of my goals are ever achieved. i have many...and that is the same as having none, i will only succeed at dying
Hobbies
• ...existing in an existential quandary full of loathing and self doubt
Talents
• I dont believe in talent- everything that i am good at i have worked hard to achieve that skill




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myOtaku.com: original J


Thursday, March 17, 2005

well looks like paople didnt like my last post very much...well im a boring person- deal with it.
today has been one of those bitter-sweet days... i dont know whether to smile and relax...or cry in anguish
there is one detail i falied to mention about why i was depressed yesterday...ive lost my spiritual links to the heavans and the earth. over the past months ive been loosing my best friends- they have died at ruthless hands...in the quest to make our property more appealing my mother has cut down three of our trees...one by one breaking my heart ive lost so much and im finding it hard to go on. not so long ago 2 beautiful jacaranda trees were slain...i grieved for them and sat by them without moving for ours holding onto their bare stumps, no longer shall i ever see the beautiful purple that was their flowers fall to the garden...and just 2 days ago the tallest most grand pine tree in our back garden suffered such a brutal murder, its remains are still in our garden *sob* i used to sit by that tree for 10 years...talking to it and explaining my sorrow...but no more shall i be free to it but rather weep on my own as i suffer its parting...i can only wait until i depart so i can be its presence once more- even if it were only for a moment in time. ive cried since it left me and every time i think of it my eyes tear up...i dont think youd understand because youve had friends before...that tree was my only true friend that never abandonned me or decieved and stayed by my side at every moment.

the only thing that that brings slight relief to my broken heart is that i have finished college for now and have a 2 week break until the next semester begins- but i still have an art assignment for the beggining of next term.

its been a sad week and a bad week...ive lost a good friend and i dont expect to be well for some time to come...it will surely influence my art and ive yet again added another scar to the the battered black mind i posess.

i am now alone...

-J-
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