Saturday, January 17, 2004

Bitter Happiness
My life just gets deeper and deeper, and I find more things to write about.

Well, first off, I woke up at 10. Yeah, that's right. Right when I was supposed to be at the mall with my friends and Monica.

At about 10:10 my friends called by means of cell phone, and I believe their exact words were "NICK, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!". Eventually I got to the mall at 11, and met them at the arcade. Mr. Frankie and Mr. Ethan, my two best friends, were playing Time Crisis two, with another friend (Elizabeth), who was watching. I found them, played a couple games of DanceDance Revolution (*sobs* I failed Sobakusu Freckles.. Damn 16th notes), and we decided to go look for Monica, her sister Leana, and their associates. We had not walked 20 feet when we bumped into them.. They wanted to go to the arcade, but we first stopped in Suncoast. There I found the precious item I was questing for-- Neon Genesis Evangelion: Resurrection. It's the 7th Eva DVD with tons of extra footage, as well as a huge amount of info on the upcoming live action movie. Unfortunately, I hadn't brought the manga I was going to exchange for the disc, and we just browsed for a while.

Ethan, probably my best best friend at the moment, decided to distract everyone so that Monica and I would be alone. And, I suppose, it worked; but it's not like she and I went to have lunch or something. We just walked to the arcade together, talking a bit. All of the arcade's change machines were broken, which resulted in.. o.o; Me getting distracted by nothing in particular while Monica and her sister played DDR.

When they ran out of quarters, we all decided to hit the movies. I wanted to see Big Fish, but we ended up seeing Along Came Polly. All day long I was kind of keeping everyone together- I was running around the mall finding people and playing arcade games inbetween. So I bought my ticket, found Monica, she disappeared and came back a while later, and we eventually got into the movie. The previews had started already. I like previews. That made me sad.

Fortunately, however, I got Monica to sit next to me. Of course, though, Frankie (Who used to, and maybe still does, have a thing for Monica) sat next to me, to "Keep us all in order."

The movie was okay- It had nice setup and good acting.. But I was barely focusing on it. I was trying.. I don't know what I was trying to do, really. I suppose I was trying to come into physical contact with her in any shape or form. Nothing that physical, though. I had three friends near me and Monica's sister watching us fromt he row in front of me. I just.. Well, I held her hand once last year. I loved that feeling. I wanted to feel that sensation again.

But before I knew it, the movie was over, and everyone left. I didn't even say goodbye to her. She, all of a sudden, disappeared.

On the bright side, I have talked to her more in the past 3 days than I have in the rest of my life. But, sadly, words are not as expressive as actions.
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What a past couple of days.
Yeah.. These past two days have been rather interesting.

I suppose the first thing that comes to mind is hockey. For the past two years I have been the most sucky, barely participating person on every single team, but apparently field hockey is my sport.

First off, our team sucked. We lost our first three games, with such little victory inbetween the crushing losses. I played defense, and I suppose I did rather well.. But yesterday, the game was tied and I was asked by the team captain fellow to go to offense. I ended up making the winning goal; and that was pretty cool.

But then I think.. That moment's gone now. I can't get self-gratification out of that one little positive point in my life, regurgitating the same information over and over again. And, the people who were complimenting me were but insulting my every movement a week back. The idiosyncracies of humanity far outweigh their strong points.

And, for the first time in months, I sat with friends at lunch. Until yesterday I was a horrid bag-luncher, but I now get myself some warm meals, (At the expense of jackasses cutting in line and calling me Harry Potter), plus I finally have the oppurtunity to talk with my friends.

I've felt like my friends haven't been as.. Well, not as much friends, but more as acquaitences by means of convenience. One person, who I used to consider my best friend, has barely talked to me since his parents seperated. He's been really bitchy towards everyone, really, but me in particular. My other best friend tried to help.. And, well, I think he did to an extent. Things are more friendly now, like they used to be.

And.. Haha, I actually talked to my pseudo-girlfriend in our first real, long conversation. After yearbook club, she was standing on the corner with one of her friends and an massive 8th grade computer geek, talking.. My mom wasn't out of her meeting thing yet, so I went over and talked. After a few minutes she headed back to her house, and came back later with her sister. I have talked to Miss Leana a thousand times online, but her creepy evil-ness is less exxagerated in real life, thank god.

And.. Well, I feel things are a little stronger between Monica (Pseudo-girlfriend) and myself, now that we have had a nice, long conversation.

I called her today. I wanted to talk about a ton of things, I even had a small list typed up to help me remember if I got lost.. But her sister had friends over, and they were all playing Karaoke Revolution. The conversation basically boiled down to "Hey, what time's the mall tomorrow?" "10 AM" "Okay, later". She had to go sing along to crappy American songs with High School Freshmen.

How I wish I was more assertive.. How I long to just take her in my arms.. But that will probably never happen. My fortune stick in History class even said so. "Your love life will fall flat soon. Your wish will not come true." Why do I have to get the crappy fortunes? :p

And.. Well, if I can get a ride, I'm at the mall tomorrow at 10 AM, for the entire day, with Monica, her sister, her friends, and some of my associates. I just hope I can friggin' go. I don't care about Hot Topic. I just want to be near Monica.
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Sunday, January 11, 2004

The year in retrospect
This past year really has changed from what it used to be. I suppose that happens around this time of life..

I suppose the biggest thing is my shift in interests from primarily video games to internet time. This happened because of a girl that I liked back early last year (And still do). You see, she told me she felt "unready for a relationship" but ended up giving me her email address. For about a month we emailed each other back and forth constantly, and then I got AOL Instant Messenger, expanding my e-conversational horizons.

Then I came across TheOtaku.

One day I was searching for pictures for my website (It's a lost cause, it sucks), and I came across TheOtaku's .hack//SIGN guide. I then spent a week or so visiting the site, taking everything in, and didn't bother with the message boards for a while. Eventually my old message board, GameTalk, got dull. I then said "Why the hell not," and joined.

For a month or so I posted rather spammily, my first post being an introductory thread, but I started two-paragraph posts not much later. My first real OB friend was Eve, a girl who I frequently talk to through PM who does not have an instant messenger handle. Then I met KKC, and then Japan_86, then Syk3. For a while I sort of walked on egg shells around him, but I eventually got to a very friendly, loosened-up state around him. He and Laura introduced me to OtakuBoards chats, where I met many other characters such as Kazuko, Shinmaru, and more recently James, Desbreko and AzureWolf. There are a ton of other close friends of mine, but I'm too tired to list them all.

The rest is history nobody will care about. All compiled in a MyOtaku account nobody reads.
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Tuesday, January 6, 2004

More AIM chats!
M-hm, I think posting many of the humorous chats I have is a good way to keep my MyOtaku alive. I've stooped to a new low! This may be even worse than nothing but online quizzes..
Greedy Microsoft: Oh yeah, gotta love my joke name.
OtakuSennen: =_= I know you from somewhere.
Greedy Microsoft: Yeah, I am Bill Gates.
OtakuSennen: =-O
Greedy Microsoft: I want you to buy my over priced software.
Greedy Microsoft: And hardware.
OtakuSennen: *hits you over the head* XBOX SUCKS
Greedy Microsoft: Why thank you.
Greedy Microsoft: I know it does.
Greedy Microsoft: That's why I have 21,000 PS2's.
OtakuSennen: o_o Talk about LAN gameplay
Greedy Microsoft: Why? Because I have that kind of money.
OtakuSennen: That's a helluva lot of people playing Halo.
OtakuSennen: YOUR ONLY GOOD GAME, YOU BASTARD
OtakuSennen: And even then.
Greedy Microsoft: :-D
OtakuSennen: o.o When's the next OS coming out?
OtakuSennen: Right when I buy XP, right?
Greedy Microsoft: When I sell...
Greedy Microsoft: 5 million XBoxs.
OtakuSennen: o_o We're stuck with XP forever!?
Greedy Microsoft: Nope.
Greedy Microsoft: I'm sure I'll sell 5 million XBoxes sooner or later.
OtakuSennen: Do used ones count?
Greedy Microsoft: That is whenever I lower the price of it.
Greedy Microsoft: Nope, they don't.
Greedy Microsoft: Only new ones.
Greedy Microsoft: So that way all the money goes to me.
OtakuSennen: ..you're gonna keep on making them forever?
Greedy Microsoft: Nope, I'll make a newer version once I get rich enough.
Greedy Microsoft: Even though I am the richest man alive.
Greedy Microsoft: I gotta go now.
Greedy Microsoft: See ya
OtakuSennen: Do Xbox 2's count as--
OtakuSennen: Okay, bye, Bill Gates.
OtakuSennen: >:o PS2 PWNZ THOU WHITE BOY ASS
Greedy Microsoft: ;-)
Greedy Microsoft signed off at 6:20:43 PM.

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Saturday, January 3, 2004

Behold. An AIM convo.
Yep, I've decided to bother dear Arcadia about dear Shinmaru. And hilarity ensues! Here's a glimpse.

OtakuSennen: Okay, well I'll help you come out of your shell!
OtakuSennen: Okay, so somebody teases you about Shin. What do you do?
Arcadelicious: o.O lol
Arcadelicious: Well. What kind of teasing?
OtakuSennen: I dunno.
OtakuSennen: Any generic kind of teasing
OtakuSennen: Rather harsh.
OtakuSennen: Meant with mean intentions
Arcadelicious: Mean? Are they being mean to me or Shin? ...or BOTH?
OtakuSennen: o.O you..?
Arcadelicious: Then I shall tell them.. that I didn't ask their opinion...
OtakuSennen: NO NO NO
OtakuSennen: THAT'S WRONG
Arcadelicious: >.>
OtakuSennen: TELL 'EM TO **** UP AND FLIP THEM OFF
Arcadelicious: I'm too nice!!
OtakuSennen: >:o SCREW NICENESS
OtakuSennen: WHEN IT COMES TO REALITY YOU EITHER EAT OR GET EATEN
OtakuSennen: AND IN THIS CASE
OtakuSennen: YOU'RE HUNGRY
OtakuSennen: HUNGRY FOR REVENGE
OtakuSennen: FOR ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO BOTHERED YOU
OtakuSennen: PUT YOU DOWN
OtakuSennen: KILL THEM
Arcadelicious: lol, is this boot camp or what?
OtakuSennen: KILL THEM VERBALLY
OtakuSennen: :D Why not? ^_^
Arcadelicious: ^_^;; Okay. So I tell them to go fuck off, screw themselves, etc. etc.
OtakuSennen: Yes!
Arcadelicious: Next question!
OtakuSennen: Let's practice.
OtakuSennen: >:o SO, WHEN'S THE WEDDING, ARCADIA?! HOW MANY KIDS ARE YOU GONNA HAVE?!
OtakuSennen: CAN I FILM YOUR HONEYMOON?!
OtakuSennen: Now respond. ;-)
Arcadelicious: O.O
Arcadelicious: *goes into shock*
OtakuSennen: -_-' We need more reinforcement
Arcadelicious: ^_^;;
Arcadelicious: I like being silly.
OtakuSennen: ;-) Don't we all?
OtakuSennen: But in all seriousness.
OtakuSennen: Has anyone ever really ticked you off?
Arcadelicious: Nope. Well. A little.
OtakuSennen: And you just watned to tie them to a wall and throw darts at their groin?
Arcadelicious: I was "miffed" but not ticked off.
Arcadelicious: Yeah, not ever like that.. online, anyway. ^O_~
Arcadelicious: Aaack, typos!
OtakuSennen: Well. In real life, when that person ticked you off.
OtakuSennen: Imagine them.
OtakuSennen: Then imagine if there were no real rules, what you would/could do to them
Arcadelicious: >:
OtakuSennen: >:o*
Arcadelicious: >:oRawr.
OtakuSennen: Yes, that's it.
OtakuSennen: now.
OtakuSennen: Verbally express it more
Arcadelicious: DIE!
OtakuSennen: Yes!
OtakuSennen: Now
OtakuSennen: Add swears!
Arcadelicious: >.> Like..
Arcadelicious: DIE YOU UGLY BASTARD DIE!!
OtakuSennen: Yes!
OtakuSennen: Yes, that works!
OtakuSennen: Now! You have learned all I can teach you!
OtakuSennen: *walks off into the sunset and gets hit by a train*
Arcadelicious: O_O
Arcadelicious: *pokes your body* Um... Sensei?
OtakuSennen: *bloody head wounds*
Arcadelicious: Er.. is there a doctor in the house?!
Arcadelicious: *tumbleweeds go by*
OtakuSennen: *head falls off*
Arcadelicious: AAAACCCKKKK!!
Arcadelicious: *tries to put it back on*
OtakuSennen: *arms fall off too*
Arcadelicious: Oh god, oh god, oh god. Duct tape!!
OtakuSennen: *legs stay on*
Arcadelicious: *gets distracted and starts playing with tape*
OtakuSennen: Arms: *steal the tape and crawl around*
Arcadelicious: >.>
Arcadelicious: *follows the arms* Um.. er.... *picks one up carefully*
OtakuSennen: Other arm: *claws at your foot*
Arcadelicious: O.O
Arcadelicious: *starts slapping at the clawing arm with the other arm*
OtakuSennen: Other arm: *bites your arm*
Arcadelicious: *jumps up, peeling away the vicious arm frantically*
OtakuSennen: arm 1: *trips you*
Arcadelicious: *jumps up and down
Arcadelicious: *falls on dead body* ..........
OtakuSennen: dead body: *explodes*
Arcadelicious: *is covered in Sennen Juices* ................this is so not cool.
OtakuSennen: Hand: *hands you a hand-e-wipe*
Arcadelicious: Oh, thank you. *wipes away daintily before offering it back to the hand*
OtakuSennen: hand: *slaps hand-e-wipe out of your hand*
Arcadelicious: *blinks, before sticking out tongue* Nyah. At least my hand is still connected to my body.
OtakuSennen: Hand: *holds up fourth, third and second fingers*
OtakuSennen: Second hand: *says "READ BETWEEN THE LINES" in Sign Language*
OtakuSennen wants to directly connect.
Arcadelicious has not responded; no connection was made. Make sure that your Buddy is using the latest version of AIM. Changing your settings in the Firewall preference may help. Also both you and your Buddy may need to adjust the settings of the firewall softwar.
Arcadelicious: *death glare, promptly tries to stomp on hand*
OtakuSennen: Hand: *does fancy footwork and avoids damage*
Arcadelicious: Curses!! Foiled Again!!! *shakes fist at sky dramatically before climbing on a rock somewhere* Ah, safety.
OtakuSennen: Rocks: *climb*
OtakuSennen: o.o
OtakuSennen: Hands: *climb* *
Arcadelicious: O.O ..........
Arcadelicious: *starts screaming like a little school girl* Help me help me help me, evil dead, evil dead!!
OtakuSennen: Jesus: *appears from behind the clouds in a holy light*
OtakuSennen: My hands: *go "x.x"*
Arcadelicious: *raises hands* Hallelujah!!
Arcadelicious: *points to hands* They're trying to hurt me!
OtakuSennen: Hands: *are melting already*
Arcadelicious: Oh, wow. Talk about quick and efficient.
OtakuSennen: Jesus: ;-) You had the power within yourself, Arcadia-poo. I had nothing to do with it. Now if you don't mind, I have 18 holes to play with Buddha.
OtakuSennen: *dramatic exit*
Arcadelicious: *eyes go all shiny* I'm just like Dorothy!!
Arcadelicious: *starts singing and skipping*
OtakuSennen: Jesus: *comes black* BLASPHEMY! THOU SHALT NOT TALK ABOUT THE WIZARD OF OZ IN VAIN!! *smites you*
OtakuSennen: Or, rather
OtakuSennen: *smites j00*
Arcadelicious: *is smited* *twitches, in an ungraceful heap on the ground* ....ow.
OtakuSennen: Yeah, that's going in my Myotaku.
OtakuSennen: This whole killy thing
Arcadelicious: Hee hee, good times.
Arcadelicious: I think perhaps you are right. I deserves a special mention. ^_^
OtakuSennen: ;-) Shinmaru's a lucky one.
Arcadelicious: ^_^;; Thank you.
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Geeze.
There really has been a lot going on in my life.. I haven't had time to update on MyOtaku much or post on OB. So I'll try summarizing things.

My grandmother was "invited" to our house on Christmas, which really shook things up for all of us. She's going downhill quickly.. We found out yesterday the cancer's gotten into her brain. My aunt, uncles and father are all going ballistic and/or hysterical. I, however, don't feel much emotion about it. When she dies, she's gone, and I might feel more sad at the funeral, but at the moment I really don't feel like it's drastically effecting my life.

I wonder if that's normal..

Christmas, though, was nice. I got Soul Calibur II, some Eva and FLCL manga, this awesome manga kit (Which I found at animebooks.com, a great site), and enough cash from relatives to buy a couple FLCL DVDs. I now am the master of all Taki players (That I know, which isn't saying much) with an awesome set of manga screentones to give my drawings a rather professional feel.

God, this Tachikawa ink pen is utter hell to use. It's always spilling out way too much ink. I need to learn to tame this thing soon. o.o' I did one page and had to go buy another ink well.

As it was with a lot of people I know, Christmas didn't seem to be here this year. It was all so superficial, I felt no major excitement or happiness about anything this holiday season. I think I'm accidentally shutting off all emotions in my system..

But then we visited a lot of family at my aunt-in-law's house the day after Christmas. Then it really felt Holiday-ish. We found out my Aunt, who was previously thought to be unable to conceive without medical assistance, is now pregnant with a home-grown, natural baby. I don't know, though.. My mother thinks she may lose this baby because of two things: My aunt recently miscarried and is still very worried about that, and she is also the only one who lives close to my grandmother.. My grandfather died back when his kids were very young, and they all are feeling like they're going to be grown-up orphans. And.. Aunt Jenniffer doesn't even remember her father.

On a lighter note, my aunt-in-law got me a Japanese penpal. Well, a temporary replacement for the real one, I guess. She is a Japanese English teacher who teaches Freshmen and Sophmores. When they get off from break on January 12th she plans on asking her students if they want a penpal. She's very nice, and Syk and Shin are hoping I get a hot 16-year-old Asian schoolgirl.. And I can't say I'm not, either. =p

I. HATE. GROUP. PROJECTS. I have a language arts book report thing due on the 8th, and none of my group mates have even begun reading their 600-page books. Plus there's this stupid Social Studies one due on Tuesday, and I'm doing all the work.

And because they didn't do their part, I'm probably going to get an F. Great. I hate group projects, and I hate groups. Are novelists or artists forced to work on novels or paintings with another person? They do so only by choice. Teachers do some work together, by choice most of the time, but most teachers are competent workers and not lazy idiot procrastinators. So, considering these are the three fields I am thinking of going in to as an adult, I don't see if I'm learning anything important here. Other than that other people suck.

And finally, I changed my MyOtaku MIDI to Blue Oyster Cult's "Don't Fear the Reaper". It's a nice little diddy I first heard on Saturday Night Live's Best of Will Ferrel. I've been listening to it over and over...

Later.
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