Tuesday, October 5, 2004

God bless you, Bong Boy!

Comment Commentary

Shin- I bet Ben Stein wouldn't laugh at him.

Mal- You mean like love and affection?

Godel- The pope said:

"I'm-a da Pope.

Give me money.

..Now, dammit."

Yeah, I know.

Syk- For me, it seems like it has been going on forever.

Alea- Good old Pope.. So he is useful.

Mimmi- It's okay, we're all here for you.

Solo- I would like to get Paper Mario 2, but because of the many awesome games coming out this year I'm afraid it is going to be held back for a while.

--

The Upright Citizens Brigade, a somewhat old show from Comedy Central, has been airing after school this week. I was first introduced to it a month or two back, and I found it highly entertaining. A week or two later I saw the same episode: the one with Bong Boy, menace to society.

Yesterday I saw Bong Boy yet again, but today I was sure to tune in and catch more of the madness. The first episode wasn't as good, and the second one totally owned it. I like how all of the varying sketches tie together at the end. You never get that from this genre..

--

Due to some sort of "conference" in Burbank, my English and Math teachers were not at school today. The subs were a little out there (crazy in a way that lets us talk), but it wasn't a big deal. We just did worksheets throughout, and I got into a small conversation about the Japanese language with someone sitting near me. She uses the audio tape lesson of learning, which I find rather lame, but it's comforting to know I'm not the only one half-dedicated to learning the language in this craphole of goths and people who confuse China with Vietnam.

We started soccer in Phys Ed today. Basically, all we did was practice the fundamentals, and it was dull. I don't like soccer (never have, never will), and I doubt playing at school in itchy uniforms will change that fact. I just want to get to hockey and football.

Oh, and we finally got the newsletter done. The teacher had a copy printed out (not to scale) by the time we got to class, and I found it surprisingly professional-looking. Apparently, she stayed at the school until five fixing things. There were still a few errors, fixed in a matter of minutes, and now it's done. I'm probably going to start focusing on the yearbook now. To ensure a lack of crappiness this time around, it has become my personal goal to eliminate any problems the moment they are detected, and to do so I must sacrifice some newsletterness.

--

And now, thanks to Shin, my lack of originality and the lyrics of one really lame rapper, I bring you..

A song which I dissect piece by piece and satyrize.

This particular song I saw on BET early this morning. It's a little ditty called "Why" by Jadakiss..

Aha
It's dat real

I don't believe you.

Yo, why is Jadakiss as hard as it gets

Hm.. That's quite a conundrum. Let me think about that one for a minute..

Why is the industry designed to keep the artist in debt

You tell me, Mister Bling Man.

And why them dudes ain't ridin' if they're part of your set
And why they never get it poppin' but they party to death

..I'm afraid I'm too white to get that.

Yea, and why they gonna give you life for a murder
Turn around only give you eight months for a burner, it's goin down

Fucking white people.

Why they sellin' [censored]'s CD's for under a dime
If it's all love daddy why you come wit your nine

..Whoa, albums for 9 cents or less? Link me up, Mr. Jadakiss. ..Or can I call you Jade?

Why my [censored, again]s ain't get that cake
Why is a brother up North better than Jordan

Oh, I get why you're so hard now! It's all of the deep, thought-provoking questions you muse over day and night. They make your brain large and, in the process.. Harden you? Feh, I give up.

That ain't get that break
Why you ain't stackin' instead of tryin' to be fly
Why is rattin' at an all time high
Why are you even alive

Go ask Confucius.

Why they kill Tupac n' Chris
Why at the bar you ain't take straight shots instead of poppin Crist'

I know.. Why ain't I takin straight shots? What's wrong with me? Jadakiss, you've made me see my faults. I'm going to turn my life around.

Why them bullets have to hit that door
Why did Kobe have to hit that raw
Why he kiss that whore
Why

Dude, have you seen that girl? She's, like.. Blonde. *rolls eyes*

[Chorus]
All that I been givin'
Is this thing that I've been living

The life of a rich, obsese, angsty hip-hop artist?

They got me in the system
Why they gotta do me like that

Hey, you're Big Carl's bitch now, why don't you go ask him?

Try'd to make it my way
But got sent up on the highway
Why, oh why
Why they gotta do me like that

Hehe.. He said "do."

Why would [censored]s push pounds and powder

I blame stereotypes. If you'll excuse me, I'm off to listen to Good Charolette and cut myself.

Why did Bush knock down the towers

God, man, learn to use some question markz. They're the real shit, man.

Why you around them cowards

You're the one surrounded by crazy guys with guns in your video.

Why Aaliyah have to take that flight

..Who?

Why my [yay for racial slurs] D ain't pull out his Ferrari
Why he take that bike

He wanted to save the environment.

Why they gotta open your package and read your mail

They just want to see how dear Aunt Margaret's doing.

Why they stop lettin' [Omfg i cant say dat here] get degreez in jail

Jailtime is a college major? Wow, and who said our nation's slums don't produce productive members of society? [/low blow]

Why you gotta do eighty-five percent of your time

Percentages, nice. Those always enhance the effect of persuasive essays / question songs.

And why do [*cough*] lie in eighty-five percent of they rhymes

Go ask that guy who said Bush destroyed the World Trade Center.

Oh, wait..

Why a [bleh, can't he just say "African American citizen of urban upbringing"?] always want what he can't have

I blame the American Dream. Damn our forefathers.

Why I can't come through in the pecan Jag
Why did crack have to hit so hard
Even though it's almost over

Crack did it out of self defense. Or am I being too literal..?

Why [meep]s can't get no jobs

I'm going to avoid that on the grounds that saying anything would incriminate me.

Why they come up wit the witness protection

It got me away from Eminem, so I'm cool with it.

Why they let the terminator win the election

Because he won the Girly Men vote, and you know how many metros are out here in California.

Come on, pay attention
Why sell in the stores what you can sell in the streets

I'm listening, man. Don't get so uppity.

Why I say the hottest shit but we sellin' the least

I know. Poor you.

[Chorus]

Uh, yea, yo

Um.. Yeah. 'Sup. <_<

Why Halle have to let a white man pop her to get a Oscar

For the last time, they used that scene to enforce her breasts- I mean, character.

Why Denzel have to be crooked before he took it
Why they didn't make the CL6 wit a clutch

Eh. Live with it, man. It's time to move on.

And if you don't smoke why the hell you reachin' for my dutch

'Cause smoking is BAD.

Why rap, cause I need air time

And I need air.

Why be on the curb wit a "why lie I need a beer" sign

It worked for Homer Simpson, so it can work for all of us.

Why all the young [Can't invoke the FFC's wrath..] is dyin'
Cause they moms at work, they pops is gone, they livin' wit iron

See, we're finally making some progress! He answered one of his own questions.. I feel I've accomplished something today.

Why they ain't give us a cure for aids

Because the government wants its taxpayers to die. Duh.

Why my diesel have fiends in the spot on the floor for days
Why you screamin' like it's slug, it's only the hawk
Why my buzz in L.A. ain't like it is in New York

Because you're an east side thing..? I know a term! I'm hip!

Why you forcin' you to be hard
Why ain't you a thug by choice

You tell 'em, my friend.

Why the whole world love my voice

I thought only New York did.

Why try to tell 'em that it's the flow son
And you know why they made the new twenties

Why, pray tell, did they make the new twenties?

Cause I got all my old ones
That's why

OHH, of course. Why didn't I think of that before..? Silly economy.

--

Well, looks like you can't replicate the original. That really, really sucked.

Teh SillyCircus Day 51- God damn you, Bong Boy..!

EDIT: Oh, and congratulations on Shin's 4,136th visit. May he bitch, moan and rant through another happy 4,136.
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