Saturday, January 17, 2004

What a past couple of days.
Yeah.. These past two days have been rather interesting.

I suppose the first thing that comes to mind is hockey. For the past two years I have been the most sucky, barely participating person on every single team, but apparently field hockey is my sport.

First off, our team sucked. We lost our first three games, with such little victory inbetween the crushing losses. I played defense, and I suppose I did rather well.. But yesterday, the game was tied and I was asked by the team captain fellow to go to offense. I ended up making the winning goal; and that was pretty cool.

But then I think.. That moment's gone now. I can't get self-gratification out of that one little positive point in my life, regurgitating the same information over and over again. And, the people who were complimenting me were but insulting my every movement a week back. The idiosyncracies of humanity far outweigh their strong points.

And, for the first time in months, I sat with friends at lunch. Until yesterday I was a horrid bag-luncher, but I now get myself some warm meals, (At the expense of jackasses cutting in line and calling me Harry Potter), plus I finally have the oppurtunity to talk with my friends.

I've felt like my friends haven't been as.. Well, not as much friends, but more as acquaitences by means of convenience. One person, who I used to consider my best friend, has barely talked to me since his parents seperated. He's been really bitchy towards everyone, really, but me in particular. My other best friend tried to help.. And, well, I think he did to an extent. Things are more friendly now, like they used to be.

And.. Haha, I actually talked to my pseudo-girlfriend in our first real, long conversation. After yearbook club, she was standing on the corner with one of her friends and an massive 8th grade computer geek, talking.. My mom wasn't out of her meeting thing yet, so I went over and talked. After a few minutes she headed back to her house, and came back later with her sister. I have talked to Miss Leana a thousand times online, but her creepy evil-ness is less exxagerated in real life, thank god.

And.. Well, I feel things are a little stronger between Monica (Pseudo-girlfriend) and myself, now that we have had a nice, long conversation.

I called her today. I wanted to talk about a ton of things, I even had a small list typed up to help me remember if I got lost.. But her sister had friends over, and they were all playing Karaoke Revolution. The conversation basically boiled down to "Hey, what time's the mall tomorrow?" "10 AM" "Okay, later". She had to go sing along to crappy American songs with High School Freshmen.

How I wish I was more assertive.. How I long to just take her in my arms.. But that will probably never happen. My fortune stick in History class even said so. "Your love life will fall flat soon. Your wish will not come true." Why do I have to get the crappy fortunes? :p

And.. Well, if I can get a ride, I'm at the mall tomorrow at 10 AM, for the entire day, with Monica, her sister, her friends, and some of my associates. I just hope I can friggin' go. I don't care about Hot Topic. I just want to be near Monica.
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