Monday, March 29, 2004

And now, after a week of pointless updates..
Yes, it's time for my myOtaku to have a more relevant, deep post, and not just some random quiz or chat that I threw together just to keep my page alive.

This topic.. Was somewhat inspired by an update on James's myOtaku, mixed in with some stuff I was dealing with in real life today and yesterday. And a warning to those of you who don't like to read updates that mainly complain about random crap: Look away. This is a pity party just waiting to go Mardis Gras on us.

..Alright then. As most of you know, I am a relatively young person. I don't mean to brag, but compared to 95% of the 13-year-old internet-going population, I am definitely more high-quality in conversation skills and... Typing ability.

And, because of this, I tend to have online friends who are older than me. People like Syk, Shin, and AzureWolf.. In fact, most of my buddy list consists of people fifteen and up. However, despite the small amount of age discrimination on the internet, there are still things out there that I'm isolated about.

You know.. Typical 16-and-above stuff. Real problems, not just trivial junior-high friendship issues.. Stuff like real relationships (Not like "Oh they're going out" when they're really going nowhere outside of school), and job interviews. Stuff like this makes me feel so unimportant and outcast.

And.. In real life, things are the exact opposite. I am at the top of each class, listening to the trivial issues of all of the stereotypes at lunch, and feeling isolated because I don't care about fashion or inconsistent crap that is "popular." Even my two best friends, who used to be right up at the top of the class with me, have basically fallen behind by choice. Their home lives have quickly deteriorated in the past year, and they've been hanging out together much more frequently, leaving me out of everything and saying that I would be "dead" by this point, because of all the random crap that they do at three in the morning.

It's not that I necessarily want to be with them doing all of the stupid things. I just want to be with friends who I can honestly call a confidante, one that I can trust.

Then, one might say, that I should meet my online friends somewhere offline. This then means that the friendships that I established in a world where physical appearance and age do not matter get flipped upside-down. When you talk to a 16 year old person online, it doesn't matter how old you are if you're at about the same level. But if you meet them in real life, they're 8 inches taller than you and such things, making the same conversations you had online becomes extremely difficult.

I think that I may have made the line between real-life and the internet too blurred. The first mistake, I think, came about maybe 8 months ago when I first got into a sort of relationship with a girl from real life, yet we 96% of our conversations were online.

And, the relationship got rather deep. Perhaps too deep to carry out in real life where the internet left off, without getting to that same level in person first. Nowadays, I am still very good friends with this girl, but the issue about talking in real life has not gotten any better.

The Internet was created as a method of communication, and to this day it remains just that (Along with being the world's largest porn library and pop-up ad archive). But many people have taken it too seriously, I think. Real human relationships called love cannot truly be formed primarily in the internet. That movie from a few years back called "You Got Mail"? Yeah. That would never happen and have such a pleasant ending.

Well, I have a major History test tomorrow, so I'm gonna go study. Good night, everyone.
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