Friday, May 7, 2004

Wow, my mO theme is boring me already..
After looking at some myOtaku themes of members whose sites I normally don't visit, I've been brought back into my down-on-myself, "I'm not worthy" mentality. My graphics really do suck, and my minor existence in the lives of many of the people in this community is fading.. I can barely remember the last time I posted on OtakuBoards, my quality of Otaku Life updates has been slipping, and I'm barely ever participating in AIM Chats anymore. And even when I'm in one, I feel extremely inferior to those "Upper-crust" members around me. I don't quite feel like I fit in.

Perhaps I should just for myself to throw that whole "No post unless you really, seriously have a major opinion about the subject" mentality away, and just post wherever I see fit. I feel as though I have faded from the world of OtakuBoards, and I'm just floating around, watching things, with nobody even noticing my being there.

And artistically speaking, I have had very little inspiration lately. I've just seen some sort of cool banner or forum skin or something, and I do something that resembles that. And it never comes out well. All I ever make nowadays is half-assed posts on mO, crappy, poorly executed banners, and an occasional cameo in the Play It! forum. Actually, I barely remember the last real "rant" that I've done. I want to change this, for if I really am leaving my life in reality for a different one, I'm going to need friends whom I can access from anywhere more than before.

...Alright, now to get on my little story about my day.

We went back to our regular schedules in school now that standardized testing is over, and we spent all of first period just reading our Accelerated Reader books, to catch up on some lost time. Right now I'm reading my fourth of five books for the final trimester, called "The Slave Dancer." It's a very dull story about some kid that gets abducted from New Orleans to play his musical instrument for the slaves that they're getting from Africa to keep them from simply giving up on life.

..My God, is it boring.

In Phys Ed we did some more running. I did half a mile in three and a half minutes, girly running posture and all. I then watched a bunch of poser athletes in my class (and some good ones mixed in there) do the running long jump into a pit of dirt.. I was reminded of Most Extreme Eliminations Challenge. They all jumped in, lost their balance, fell on their rears, and rolled around in the dirt for a minute. It was hee-larious.

We did a math quiz today, and it was much more easy than I expected. We just had to solve some extremely simple equations, and graph them. I spent the rest of the period finishing up some homework that I had to turn in that period, while playing Bran New Lovesong by The Pillows in my head.

Nothing happened in Language Arts, and I helped some female friends win a football game at lunch, and I drew some landscape of a Shinto shrine in Art- That wasn't the real highlight of the period, though, because my teacher pronounces Shinto as "Sheen-too." It took all I had to hold in my laughter.

Social Studies wrapped up the day, as it always should, with some heated debate between randomly selected classmates. The entire ordeal reminded me of "Wrestlemania for the Mind", simply because it seemed that all of the rivals and mortal enemies seemed to be selected to debate each other. The rest of the class was screaming out stuff and trying to assist their peers in front of the class through various means.. It was quite a sight. In the end, I was pitted against one of my better friends in a debate about the school cafeteria giving fast food-quality foodstuffs out instead of the current styrofoam and gruel they call Mystery Meat. We didn't get to choose the subject, or which side we were with, and I ended up having to promote giving out Pizza Hut breadsticks for free. I just gave up on that one before I put out a response, because he brought up too many good points. It was hopeless. I ended up getting a rematch with a more viable topic (I had to defend homeschooling), and I ended up winning by a landslide, surprisingly enough.

I can't debate for my life, though. It's always entertaining to watch, on and offline, and I can bring up rather solid points when looking in on the conversation, but I can never sort out my thoughts in the heat of the debate. That might be one of the reasons why I don't post as much- I'm afraid of debate.

And I'm done now. Good night.
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