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myOtaku.com
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Birthday
• 1991-07-11
Gender
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Female
Location
• somewhere where you don't know, actually London in England
Member Since
• 2003-10-10
Occupation
• Sixth Form student, fan girl, writer and struggling artist/ creator
Real Name
• Amaris Hope you like the name because it is really so!
Personal
Achievements
• Not killing the people in my school YET, or the world; being able to push people away; being socially isolated; let my grades go down because I'm lazy and an idiot; read all the books in my library, get my english teacher to think I self-harm (DSH)
Anime Fan Since
• I was 7, Yr 3, 1998 or so. The first anime was the infamous 'Sailor Moon'! XD
Favorite Anime
• Most of them except Ultimate Muscle because it is soo ruubiishh-o! I Love 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'! Shinji is such a passive-aggressive boy, and he hates himself so! I can relate, because I hate myself. I hate everyone else in the world!Human condition!
Goals
• to actually finish a story!;To not die before 40, to get a good job which I enjoy- IMPOSSIBLE!; To find someone I love; to not end up killing myself because I suffer from depression.
Hobbies
• reading, writing (all-sorts) and watching tv, getting annoyed, typing, blaming myself; being TOO perceptive; seeing all the faults of the world; telling people off if they are wrong; trying to decipher the world
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myOtaku.com: Outlaw Melfina
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Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
Pages (238): [ First ][ Previous ] 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 [ Next ] [ Last ]
Saturday, February 2, 2008
I wasn't on yesterday...
Ah yes... because I was tracing my pics on my tablet. YOU NEVER REALISE HOW MUCH PAPER AND DRAWINGS YOU HAVE UNTIL YOU LOOK THROUGH IT! >.< Yes, I did SOME, so I'll show you them whenever really. I need to colour them in though. I'm going to link a pic I made back in '06! ^^
The blondey
And the redhead
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 I may not be very visible, but I'm no sidekick!
You Are A Loyal Sidekick
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While you aren't the most visable one in your group...
You're always up for a good time or conversation
And you stick with your friends no matter what
You may feel underappreciated - but it only seems that way!
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Thursday, January 31, 2008
Never say that I don't know how to manipulate my way into getting what I want!
Yes, now, I am a girl of integrity and bare-faced honesty, but I know how to get what I want from seeing the ways and means of getting what you want, and boy, did I know what I wanted!
Basically, my psychiatrist wanted 2 more sessions, and then for it to be no more. Well, I planned that if I talked about the whole she-bang at the end of '07, that it'd continue, so I did, and HEY PRESTO! I've got a session in two weeks time, instead of the 6 weeks that I had to wait between sessions now.
'Saw VI' is on the comp next to me, and talk about mindless violence! Ultimate torture with gore which is bordering carnal sadism! I've never seen the point in scaring yourself shitless personally. Plus, it leaves a nasty mess on the floor.
I've got to go to the school library to study my English Lit work. Bye! I shall be on tomo's, and my teacher for sociology won't be in, so low and behold, and excuse to update befpre I get on in the evening! Also, I can sleep for MANY hours!
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Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Sometimes I don't feel like a teenager.
No, seriously, I don't. I'm too smart, too aware, and always think of repercussions made when I choose to do things. I'm also responsible, and never ignore my mum. Yes I get depression as any other teenager does, but I cope. Maybe this means I'm old before my time, and won't reap the benefits of being young, but I do it in a fun way to me- constantly learning. I also listen to the shenanigans that others get to, and they say how they were terrible mistakes, and it sounds vicarious, but I've always been cautious. It is my very nature. I know I must do my work, and I do it eventually, and I have never bunked a single lesson however much I hate it. I always think of the future, whatever I do then, and prepare myself for it.
Nothing much more to say on that really.
How are you? The eptiome of a teenager, breaking the rules as much as you can, or a law abider?
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Well, it seems like today is going to be a lonely day.
Yes, I'm on the comp on a Tuesday because I have no French lesson; I'm all lonely because my friend isn't in, and have no other work to do, like yesterday. I'm looking forward to my English Literature class, even if it has that big-mouth in it, disrupting the entirety of my lesson. I'm NOT going to fail English Literature for ANYONE!
Also, and interesting observation; it has come to my mind, though, I have always known this, that these sites do attract a certain type of people, not that I am proclaiming it to be wrong, but it's the young angry community, using this to pour out their woes and strife, finding people, and it helps them through it! God only knows the amounts of times that the help of others has bestowed my mind to a slight equilibrium- i.e. buffered my depression by the role this site, and people have paid. ^^
I was thinking that now, to break the void of not going to my friend's site, and reading his poems, that I am to add my own. He did always say they were good, and I hold that opinion also, but adding to that, people always say the delivery of such poems is very beautiful, and I sometimes read them bak, and can't quite fathom HOW a 16 year-old could write so eloquently.
A picture I took
And a beautiful sunset from my bathroom.
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Monday, January 28, 2008
 A jolly old fellow I am! :D
Well, the announcement of someone possibly leaving here has dampened my day, and it'll be sad to see them go, but, to be frank, if he sees it fit to leave for himself, than I have nothing to say to that. I've just been speaking to him for a year now, and he's become a good part of life life, which encourages positivity! ^^ I just can't believe that it'll be this way. Hopefully, my wishes shall come true, and this shan't be so. *sighs*
Otherwise, I'm back on form, I talked to my mum last night, and she realised how similar we are on an intellectual basis, and I could have told her that! I'm back to walking proudly, and always doing the right thing, and being unrewarded for it, but I'll hopefully get my reward somewhere along the line!
I had no English Lit. class, which wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't have done the homework, and I had something to do, but, well, I was bored from 9-10:30 am. Then I have a double-free, which I am in now, and I've done nothing, for there is nothing to do!
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Friday, January 25, 2008
 OH YES I DID!
I bit the bullet! I did it! Changed the habit of a lifetime! *beams a grin* Ah you can see, I have changed my site colour to red. I have not changed it in the 4 years I have been on, but I thought now is as good a time as any!
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I dragged myself onto the computer
I don't know, of late, I can't be bothered to go on the comp; I mean, I want to go on, but I can't bring myself to go on.
'Tis weird, I've become all shy again, and I'm back on form, smiling etc. but for some unknown reason, I'm withdrawn and mute. *shrugs shoulders*
My sociology classes have become a nightmare since this noisy girl came into my class. Other people who are my school mates call her disruptive, and by no means are they kidding! Self-restraint does not exist in her book, and it seems that no one is interested in the subject. Now, I'm not losing out on my education for anyone! *frowns* I actually want to go to univeraity and do well in my life. *sighs* I feel so melancholy. :(
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Thursday, January 24, 2008
I just LOVE that quote- I read it in English on Wednesday. I'm sorry I haven't been on. I told myself not to go on -> TO RESIST TEMPTATION! lol I'm alright. THE MOON HAS BEEN BIG! But unfortunately, I couldn't find the digital camera to caprture it, but the moon'll come back! Well, hopefully as long as I live where I do! Some views were SOOOOOOOO beautiful! You know the pic of the sunset from my bathroom? Well the moon was there, casting silhouettes, but NO CAMERA! *weeps silently* It was just so bright that the light was reflecting off roofs, and I keep the memory of it in my heart. *silently nods*
I have been masterfully writing poems of late.
Earlier this week, Monday, in the afternoon, a girl who sits next to me in sociology blurted out that she didn't know the dates of the Second World war.
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Monday, January 21, 2008
Oh, how I'm back on form!
On Friday night, I slept for 12 hours, of course, not non-stop, for that is impossible for the one with disturbed sleep!
I took a break on Friday and Saturday, I was of no mood to be pleasant to any being; human or not. ^^
AS ever, have not done my homework, it's called my mum swiftly coercing me into doing homework in the front room with the tele on, and being sucked into watching 'Monk' with her for 4 hours. *sighs* I AM BUT SO WEAK! No poems, but I'm a little creative gal at the mo, so all it faring well. I haven't been sleeping well, but the new subject in English Literature is of a poet called Carol Ann Duffy, and let's just say the poems are base, crude, lewd, and I love them! ^^ There's not much to report on my life really. People mean, have to get through the days. Life is just glorious! I should change my little quote, but I haven't got any good ones! *cries* That's what happens when you go creatively dry!
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