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Birthday
• 1991-07-11
Gender
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Female
Location
• somewhere where you don't know, actually London in England
Member Since
• 2003-10-10
Occupation
• Sixth Form student, fan girl, writer and struggling artist/ creator
Real Name
• Amaris Hope you like the name because it is really so!
Personal
Achievements
• Not killing the people in my school YET, or the world; being able to push people away; being socially isolated; let my grades go down because I'm lazy and an idiot; read all the books in my library, get my english teacher to think I self-harm (DSH)
Anime Fan Since
• I was 7, Yr 3, 1998 or so. The first anime was the infamous 'Sailor Moon'! XD
Favorite Anime
• Most of them except Ultimate Muscle because it is soo ruubiishh-o! I Love 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'! Shinji is such a passive-aggressive boy, and he hates himself so! I can relate, because I hate myself. I hate everyone else in the world!Human condition!
Goals
• to actually finish a story!;To not die before 40, to get a good job which I enjoy- IMPOSSIBLE!; To find someone I love; to not end up killing myself because I suffer from depression.
Hobbies
• reading, writing (all-sorts) and watching tv, getting annoyed, typing, blaming myself; being TOO perceptive; seeing all the faults of the world; telling people off if they are wrong; trying to decipher the world
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myOtaku.com: Outlaw Melfina
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Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
Pages (238): [ First ][ Previous ] 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 [ Next ] [ Last ]
Saturday, December 15, 2007
 I never told you lot about the Golden Ball!
I never said how grand it was! :D I enjoyed myself, and shook my little butt! There were some guys trying to grind themselves on whatever girl they could! It was foul!
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Oh thank you for the comments!
And thank you Fading Away!
I mean, I knew all along, but I wanted ocular proof, but now I have it, and I am but so waiting to kill the guy! It's not his fault, it's mine for not relying upon my own instincts that many a thing is suspicious. *sighs* Oh, I am one for pay-back, whether he's worth it or NOT.
I hate being smart. *sighs* I think the sheer audacity is that I was suspicious, and he TURNED AROUND and said manipulated the situation in such a way, but I never believe that things are how they appear, so I've always held myself back. Soul mates though? Nah. Jumping over the moon to prove his love? Somehow I don't believe. Now, not falling for fairy tales, I DO believe!
HERE IT IS, AND IT'S SHEERLY TERRIBLE, ISN'T IT?!
AND HERE'S ANOTHER!
Things have been proved, and I do but smile with fiendish delight! I know now, and I was never in a relationship with him, because I wouldn't allow it. I don't care if I name and shame really. I have a right to say honestly, that I have been fiddled with, and because I'm so stubborn, into self-preservation and knew that I didn't want anything, I got out of it slightly unscathed. My favourite lie is when I accused about Me-ae, and he said some crap about how it's his friend's girlfriend, which was a pretty crappy lie, if you ask me, but I needed outright proof.
On that front, I'm kind of proud of myself! :D
I still need to talk to him though, so I'm just rolling my eyes at the moment.
It wouldn't be so bad if it was the first time that he's done it, but it's not. I like to play detective!
Oh, let my head roll! I don't fear anymore. What's the worse that could happen? I'm not going down without a fight!
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Friday, December 14, 2007
Slightly disgruntled...
Oh yes, I feel a bit unhappy, a bit unrepentive, a bit stupid, and a bit evil.
Ah yes, that's males for you!
I don't really care if he sees it. I have to talk to him, but I fucking well don't feel like it! I'm even on early to avoid him! *cries* Oh, if you were really that bothered, you'd pm me.
My heart is kind of broken, but it's not like it's able to really be cracked any more. Not even a poem is worth the time of putting in the emotions. Love is a fickle mistress, and I am musing, so fear not the obligatory feel if you read this. *sighs* I was just about to let my barriers down, and what I have seen makes them go up. For the first time I have seen the bare evidence with my own eyes, and it's not good. Am I really that foolish though? To see the evidence, yet not confront. Ah well. Everyone has their little job in each others' lives.
It's probably an over-reaction, so it'll all be sorted out (hopefully) and that's it.
Or perhaps not, and I've been strung along all this time. *sighs* See, why delving and being nosey PAYS! Absolute lies. You can lie to me, but NEVER lie to my friend! *shakes head* Margaret treats me well, and treats you well. DON'T!
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Wednesday, December 12, 2007
 Got the golden ball tonight!
Yes. I hope it's fun! Well, maybe it will. I'm going to take pictures, so you will see me in all my GLORY! >.< Yes, brace yourself!
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Saturday, December 8, 2007
Shoe shopping is evil!
Yep. Went out to get some tennis shoes/ Converse-esque shoes, but failed. *hangs head in shame* Blooming shops! They don't sell the kinds of shoes I want! I'll have to go up to North London to get some I assume. It took ages, and my mum was complaining how she's not the Bank Of England (we are actually quite poor). She has been encouraging me to spend my money, because I'm tight with my money, but the problem is, that I can't find my card to take the money out in the first place! I've got £300 in the bank, because here, you get paid every week up to £30 for going to school in education 16- 18. I would have gone anyway, but it's free money! ^^
Got my formal dance coming up, and I've got a ticket, and it's a plus one, but I don't have anyone to come with me! *cries* Oh well, my friends'll be there, and with the plus ones, boys will probably come, and ransack the place, and there'll be a fight, and things will be destroyed. Looking forward to it! ^^ *giggles*
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Friday, December 7, 2007
 IT'S A FRIDAY!
I'm so tired, it's not funny! I'm going to go on at home, then watch my Friday night shows, then go to bed. Hopefully all will go well over the weekend, and I get my essays done.
I'm in a free lesson at the moment because my teacher's not in again, same with the reason to why I was on yesterday.
A girl in my class actually indirectly threatened me because I wanted my teacher to be in, so she could only have one subject in the day. Lazy cow!
A baroness lady came in to school today. She was interesting, though it had no bearing to my education, but it's politics, so I love a good bit of that. She was so small though! You could have picked her up! I'm not one to think such things, but it's true! In her red little suit!
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Thursday, December 6, 2007
IT'S ALL MY FAULT I TELL YA!
Ah yes. For the first time in education history for Amaris dear, I got kicked out of my English literature lesson, and told not to come back. ONLY FOR THE WHILE THOUGH! :D Basically, I have two teachers for English Lit, and the evil one, to which I study 'Richard III' Shakespeare, I have not handed in a single essay this year. Yes, you read right. Not one essay from September. So I have rightfully been turned away from that lesson until I hand in at least one. She shouted at the person before me, but did not shout at me. She never has. I seem to have this weird aura around me- passivity, where I won't do a thing, no matter how much they shout at me. I'm supposed to get an A, but I just get home, and can't be bothered, as I'm so tired. A friend told me that she cussed me after I left.
I also saved a girl who is in THE EXACT SAME situation as I. The hilarity of it all, is that we're the top two capable students, so it's all our own faults. >.<
I'll cope. HOPEFULLLY!
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Wet, sniffly, and back on the BACON!
Ah yes, I am back. Why? Because I wanted to take a break and stare into space during lunch instead.
So yesterday, there was rain, and I got UTTERLY soaked by the time I walked on the high road (10 minutes of walking). All my trouser legs were wet and my ickle tennis shoes soaked, and filled with water! I was sniffly and nose drippy all day, because there was a water deposit in my shoe! If I tipped the shoe, then the water would seep that way! >.< Oh glory and majesty! I didn't have to go to my weekly volunteering job though, because I go to an old peoples' home, and there are octagenarians there, adn I don't want to bring the grim reaper any nearer to them! *cackles*
I have a formal coming up, so that means I have to find a dress. Got a prom dress with boning on the bust area, and with a good bra, I'll be pretty to boot! I have to find gold accessories though, which is a pain, as I just hate to shop. CLOTHES SHOPPING IS A NECESSARY EVIL I TELL YA! NECESSARY EVIL!
I'm so glad that my mum has never tried to push me to be a lady, as my mum is exactly the same way.
I'm also back on the bacon. *shakes head* I told myself that I'd be okay without it, but the addiction is just too strong. I ate some yesterday, and I had to eat some this morning. They say it contributes to bladder cancer, but I don't care. People smoke and drink to excess. All I do is have an addiction to pig!
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Monday, December 3, 2007
 ABSOLUTE MANIACY!
Well, school is here once again, and it's rather boring. HAVE I DONE THE ESSAYS I WAS TO DO?! NO! I shall do badly, and it shall be ALL my fault!
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Saturday, December 1, 2007
 Bored!
Gosh this has been a slow week! I hate being bored and I've got stuff to do, but I can't be bothered to do it. The days seem brighter again, which is always good, but I haven't been sleeping well again. I've got a carol thing to go to tonight, so I may not be on much later. *sighs* I@m staring into space with not much going on. Oh well.
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