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myOtaku.com
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Birthday
• 1991-07-11
Gender
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Female
Location
• somewhere where you don't know, actually London in England
Member Since
• 2003-10-10
Occupation
• Sixth Form student, fan girl, writer and struggling artist/ creator
Real Name
• Amaris Hope you like the name because it is really so!
Personal
Achievements
• Not killing the people in my school YET, or the world; being able to push people away; being socially isolated; let my grades go down because I'm lazy and an idiot; read all the books in my library, get my english teacher to think I self-harm (DSH)
Anime Fan Since
• I was 7, Yr 3, 1998 or so. The first anime was the infamous 'Sailor Moon'! XD
Favorite Anime
• Most of them except Ultimate Muscle because it is soo ruubiishh-o! I Love 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'! Shinji is such a passive-aggressive boy, and he hates himself so! I can relate, because I hate myself. I hate everyone else in the world!Human condition!
Goals
• to actually finish a story!;To not die before 40, to get a good job which I enjoy- IMPOSSIBLE!; To find someone I love; to not end up killing myself because I suffer from depression.
Hobbies
• reading, writing (all-sorts) and watching tv, getting annoyed, typing, blaming myself; being TOO perceptive; seeing all the faults of the world; telling people off if they are wrong; trying to decipher the world
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myOtaku.com: Outlaw Melfina
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Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
Pages (238): [ First ][ Previous ] 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 [ Next ] [ Last ]
Friday, November 30, 2007
 7575 visits
Well, three days ago I forgot to add a post about it, but it seems that no one likes to press backroom after they visit my site. Thank you SO much there! I think it's quite a few visits myself!
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All is okay
Not much going on. Things been resolved, bored, tired etc. etc. My French teacher isn't in today, so I'm on now.
And Robert, I do agree with you there. I do let the feelings trickle as if through a filter. I don't like to flood. The art of the finely conveying and controlling feelings! *nods*
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Thursday, November 29, 2007
Life's alright.
All I can say is 'ugh'. I'm tired, and bored and have work to do, but I have decided to be on the computer to answer pms. I feel all blah and Im hungry- I haven't been eating well for the last couple of months now, and I'm getting all thin and lethargic! I've never had a problem with food before! I absolutely love my food! I need my sleep is all.
I haven't been writing any poems, but I should get back into my stroy-writing really. When you're told you have talent fifty million times, you kind of believe it after a while. I've recently read some stuff I wrote, before I got bored with it, as with most of the things I do, and it's like 'wow! I wrote that at the tender age of 13?! Where's my talent and flair gone? How could I write with such accuracy when I was so majorly fucked up then?' so I should get back into writing in general, even if just for catharsis.
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Wednesday, November 28, 2007
English literature! >.
Oh no! I have to do 2 essays, write-up two topics for a book we're reading, and have half a life! I'm so not looking forward to it! Tonight shall NOT (hopefully) be wasted! I'm so awful! I'm so useless with homework! I SHALL TRY!
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Sick and tired of it all.
You know when you just have that terrible confliction in your heart, and there's not much to do about it?
I'm getting rather sick and tired of this world being so unclear and vague really. It sickens me sometimes how life is not straight-forward and Lies can be lies, but not lies, and then you have to decide with the fight of head vs. heart. Don't you just sick on having to carrying on, and riding out the waves, because it's the only thing you can do at the end of the day, when you are so powerless and feeble?
I feel sick.
Also, Hippe 25, I DO write poems! lol
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Monday, November 26, 2007
 Again with the madness
*sighs* You know when things seem to be going alright, but that niggling sensation uprises, and you realise the lies spouted to you once more? Well, I feel that now again.
Things are being found out, but slowly. I know life is never perfect, but why are people so manipulative?
Words easily worked by someone is NEVER a good sign. Someone who can manipulate words, can manipulate people. I know that because I can with such effortless beauty. Not that I practise it anymore.
As my mum brought me up on, 'never trust a man who compliments you, and you don't trust them. They're lies to get to your heart.' Too true. One will have to try a bit harder.
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Saturday, November 24, 2007
MUSEUM FOR CULTURE!
Today I went to two museums, and 'twas fun. My new friend, Anna, was cool, and we just wandered around, and looked at things.
I went to another one afterwards, and went to the exhibition for haute couture clothes. I loved it, and like the style, so hopefully, my mum can make me clothes of that sort.
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Friday, November 23, 2007
Up, down, and sideways
Bloody bored is all I can say. It took me ages to get on the comp, but it's working now. I'm rather bored. Some people having problems, feeling useless, friend full of despair etc. etc. I was giving her advice, and it hurt to recall all the hazy pain, but LIFE MUST GO ON! *sighs*
I shall say happy thanksgiving to the lot a' ya, even though I don't celebrate it!
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Thursday, November 22, 2007
Alright day
Everything seems to be going fine. I'm reading this book as extra help for my English Literature work. It's called 'The bell jar' by Sylvia Plath. 'Tis alright. I pretty much can emphasise with the character. I'm becoming quite close to a girl who's in 3 of my 4 subjects, and I hope we become good friends!
Got Tate Forum tonight, and we're going to talk about the success of the big event on Saturday. I feel a bit bored, and I still haven't gotten some replies off my lover, but it can't be helped.
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Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Embracing life
I know that I’m a pessimist, and hate to see others happy. I am a constant moaner, and I always try to defer my happiness. I realise that I should just embrace it, and let myself make mistakes for once, instead of sitting on the side-lines seething. I know that I should accept what people have to offer me, and to just ask for help sometimes, and not try to make it out on my own. I know deep down I am a lovely person, and that one person reminds me of that everyday, and I should just acknowledge the fact that it may or may not last, and just accept their love, giving caution to the wind for once. I am wise, and know how to anticipate situations, but I now have to live and accept the happiness that ONLY I can have, I should defer it no longer.
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