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myOtaku.com
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Birthday
• 1991-07-11
Gender
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Female
Location
• somewhere where you don't know, actually London in England
Member Since
• 2003-10-10
Occupation
• Sixth Form student, fan girl, writer and struggling artist/ creator
Real Name
• Amaris Hope you like the name because it is really so!
Personal
Achievements
• Not killing the people in my school YET, or the world; being able to push people away; being socially isolated; let my grades go down because I'm lazy and an idiot; read all the books in my library, get my english teacher to think I self-harm (DSH)
Anime Fan Since
• I was 7, Yr 3, 1998 or so. The first anime was the infamous 'Sailor Moon'! XD
Favorite Anime
• Most of them except Ultimate Muscle because it is soo ruubiishh-o! I Love 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'! Shinji is such a passive-aggressive boy, and he hates himself so! I can relate, because I hate myself. I hate everyone else in the world!Human condition!
Goals
• to actually finish a story!;To not die before 40, to get a good job which I enjoy- IMPOSSIBLE!; To find someone I love; to not end up killing myself because I suffer from depression.
Hobbies
• reading, writing (all-sorts) and watching tv, getting annoyed, typing, blaming myself; being TOO perceptive; seeing all the faults of the world; telling people off if they are wrong; trying to decipher the world
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myOtaku.com: Outlaw Melfina
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Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
Pages (238): [ First ][ Previous ] 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 [ Next ] [ Last ]
Monday, November 12, 2007
I'm HAP-HAP-HAPPY!
I was ill yesterday, fighting a cold, but I'm all fine now, and I had a good night's sleep, and I'm buzzing with energy, as opposed to feeling like a zombie, barely alive and breathing, let alone capable of any articulation and schoolwork.
Also, I did an essay in English Literature, and the teacher was pleasantly suprised with my ability, as she has never read anything written by me from the beginning of the school year until now. I got a B, whilst others in my class got lower. Very bored but life is letting up! You never know joy until you have come out of the pain! It inspires me to write some poems in joy! ^^
Also, I am being wholly selfish, and I will be unable to visit your sites today, tomorrow, or Wednesday. How sad. Boo hoo. I would on Weds, but I've got my appointment with my psychiatrist when I have my free, so SORRY! *bows*
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Saturday, November 10, 2007
Gotta keep it in the family!
My brother, Jared, has now joined MyO here. How grand. *rolls eyes* JUST LOOK AT WHAT HE DID TO MY FREAKING FRIDGE, COMMENT AND GUESTBOOK ENTRY! *frowns* Please welcome him anyhow.
Thank you all for the comments. I dearly thank yiz. I do feel that you do all care, unlike the people who call themselves my friends. My friend leaves me for dead when I say I'm having a hard time, or got teh 'blues', which is THE ONE THING that is the absolute no no! I agree with you Hal, many people on here are honest, and that's what makes it very good on here, and how come I've stayed on here for 4 years! We all come from very different walks of life, and share experiences. 'Tis truly grand! *hugs all*
Went clothes shopping today. NECESSARY EVIL is what I say! I hate the crowds, the other women not knowing what THE HELL they are doing, the clothes on the floor, and the general atmosphere. NOW I KNOW WHY I LIKE BEING BY MYSELF! >_> Most of the clothes didn't fit and I WAS NOT going to try them in the shop, for I just wanted TO GO! I have to return all the trousers now. They were all tight on the thigh, and my thighs aren't THAT big! Yes, a very nerr day.
Also, got MSN whatever thing. IT's fightagainstdeath@hotmail.co.uk if you just want to go and add me. I don't really mind. I think the time difference is going to be a problem though.
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Friday, November 9, 2007
Oh, how things do NOT change!
Today, this group I belong to, decided to do this thing whereby everyone talks about their emotional baggage. I had a blood test this morn, so I didn't know it was going ahead, and had no clue to what was happening. They used some year 12s to test this all on. Now, the THEORY WAS: 'WHATEVER IS SAID IN THE ROOM, STAYS IN THE ROOM'. Now, I didn't believe that this was likely to happen, and LO! AND BEHOLD! People started talking about it after the thing. Now, I didn't go to it, for I had a class, but I didn't want anyone to let anyone now what I've been through really, as I haven't fully accepted it myself. (My dad had this whole trip on telling me I was useless and a horrible person, forever to be unloved for I'm so terrible. He used to frequently say how it was in order to 'break' me. This was from the age of 7-11. Typing it even now hurts, and I'm starting to cry. I spent alot of time by myself due to all this. I'm a loner. My mum doesn't know any of this.) I really didn't trust people enough to just go and tell them that in all honesty, because this virulent information can be so EASILY turned against me, for people to hate me even more. *sighs*
Also, no one on here is one of those kinds of people. I like talking to all o' ya! I was talking about school. I love you all on here. ^^
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Thursday, November 8, 2007
No encouragement to do good!
I've got Tate Forum tonight, so that means that I'm not doing any homework tonight. Got a bit of homework, but I'm SO TIRED! I went to the doctor's, and I'm getting a blood test tomorrow morning. I had to wait in the waiting room of the doctor's for half an hour before I got seen! It was so warm in there, and I daren't move to find out if there were any DECENT magazines, which were not on gossip, that I was freaking well dozing! So by the time the doctor came, I was literally wiping away the sleep from my eyes! How utterly sad!?
Also, it's a very dear person of mine's bday on here! It's Robert's 19th birthday, so wish him happy birthday please! I'm sure it'll brighten his day! ^^
School's alright. You know when you start talking to a person whom you don't really talk to, and you feel really bad for not talking to them before, and then they come out with something in REAL bad taste and remember why you don't like them? I had that yesterday, and today with a few people. I think it's hilarious!
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Wednesday, November 7, 2007
The good old 'fragility of life'
Yeah, went to the old Jewish home today. The lady wasn't very talkative, which was kind of annoying, but at the same time, I'm not a conversationalist, so I sat there on her bed, while she was 'thinking with her eyes closed' >_> *shakes head* So it was kind of a waste of an hour, but I had time to think to myself, my favouritist activity in the world, and just looked around. Nothing much to otherwise report. I'm a bit behind in English still, and incredibly tired. I'VE GOT NEW MANGA TO READ THOUGH! I'm in the local library, which isn't as local as my other one, but the other one is closed today, so yeah. I'm bored really. Got nothing to do except school-work. Japanese classes last night was fun, but it was BITTERLY cold last night! I just hate having to go through the housing estates, as it's so dreary and eerie!
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Monday, November 5, 2007
Feeling so low
I think all this sleep deprivation is finally taking it's toll on me. I feel so low, and don't want to do a single thing, though I know I should. I'm wasting my talents and time. *sighs* I wish someone could go and inject some energy in me, because I'm so lethargic and unenthused~! *bangs computer table* I have time to waste on here though! >.<
IT'S THE 5th NOVEMBER, SO IT'S BONFIRE NIGHT! HERE IS THE LITTLE SONG TO REMEMBER Guy Fawkes and the gang, trying to blow up James 1 of England!
" Remember, remember, the fifth of November
GUNPOWDER, TREASON AND PLOT!
Is there a reason, why gunpowder and treason, should ever be forgot?"
Thank you for treason, so we have fireworks tonight! :D
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Saturday, November 3, 2007
MP3 PLAYER!
Ah yes, got it as a reward for my test results, though they were acquired back at the end of August! First, there had to be a decision to what I was going to get, and then I had to get a cheapish one. It's a 2GB one, and it has all 267 songs which I have accumulated over the last 3 years! It's a bugger if you want to find one song after the other, as the order is slightly bizarre. Oh well.
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Friday, November 2, 2007
Didn't go on the bus, but SAW FIREWORKS!
Yeah, I didn't go. Went to see the fireworks, as Bonfire/ Guy Fawkes night is the 5th. 'Twas good, but the tube was absolutely heaving! My feet hurt!
I have a swollen toe, and so, for the last 3 days, I've been unable to walk properly. :(
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A trip around LONDON!
I put it in capitals, but I don't know why, as it's not like I live in London anyway!
Anyway, tonight, I am going to go on an old London bus tonight to got around and see London by night. It's free, so all is cool. ^^
Nothing much has been going on in my life at the mo. Got school work, and I've got some badges! *grins*
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Thursday, November 1, 2007
On... don't know what to say.
Nothing much is happening in my life really. Got homework, got my issues as everyone does, not doing the stuff that I want to do, life not being pleasurable, the usual. I just wish that sometimes life were easy, and it will get better to a certain extent, but all the same, it won't be simple being an adult. *sighs*
Life is hard work if you want it your way. I don't want to settle for second best.
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