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myOtaku.com
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Birthday
• 1991-07-11
Gender
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Female
Location
• somewhere where you don't know, actually London in England
Member Since
• 2003-10-10
Occupation
• Sixth Form student, fan girl, writer and struggling artist/ creator
Real Name
• Amaris Hope you like the name because it is really so!
Personal
Achievements
• Not killing the people in my school YET, or the world; being able to push people away; being socially isolated; let my grades go down because I'm lazy and an idiot; read all the books in my library, get my english teacher to think I self-harm (DSH)
Anime Fan Since
• I was 7, Yr 3, 1998 or so. The first anime was the infamous 'Sailor Moon'! XD
Favorite Anime
• Most of them except Ultimate Muscle because it is soo ruubiishh-o! I Love 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'! Shinji is such a passive-aggressive boy, and he hates himself so! I can relate, because I hate myself. I hate everyone else in the world!Human condition!
Goals
• to actually finish a story!;To not die before 40, to get a good job which I enjoy- IMPOSSIBLE!; To find someone I love; to not end up killing myself because I suffer from depression.
Hobbies
• reading, writing (all-sorts) and watching tv, getting annoyed, typing, blaming myself; being TOO perceptive; seeing all the faults of the world; telling people off if they are wrong; trying to decipher the world
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myOtaku.com: Outlaw Melfina
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Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
Pages (238): [ First ][ Previous ] 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 [ Next ] [ Last ]
Wednesday, June 8, 2005
Jazz hands!
Yesterday, choir was actually on, and we sung some songs, as requested by one of my classmates, Heather. She's one of those who wants to be a an actress, and loves theatre. We sung two songs. It was only our year. They were 'All that Jazz', and 'Funny Honey' or something, from Chicago. I liked singing in that style, but Deborah didn't like it, but wouldn't go, because she didn't want to be alone, and just moaned about it. there were only 6 of us, and most of us didn't know the words, and I just about knew the tune, but we got along fine. I don't think I'd be a singer though.
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Yay! I hit 2400 visits!
Yay! I am very happy! I have finally hit 2400 visits! Thankyou all!
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Tuesday, June 7, 2005
Yay! Parallel curriculum because I have lack of confidence! I know, sad and redundant!
Today was fun! We first did a poster, where we had to 'sell ourselves as a friend'. I found that I didn't have many 'attractive' characteristics. I can be quite selfish, I am angry alot, get sick of people after a while, and can't stand them, am not a people person etc. I could go on forever! Then we did this thing where we had to do 'us' and it had to be an abstract thing. I had a lot of dark things, and it was weird, because the lady wouldn't stop looking at me weird! She looked at me weird since the first time I went to yoga. She sadi how she works int he same company thing that the yoga lady does, and she thinks I'm suicidal, so she probably is watching me to see any signs of madness, or me might actually commiting suicide, which is far from my mind! I find it weird. I like to show how I suffer from depression in one way or another. Why shouldn't I be proud of me having depression? I've only had it since I was 7! I had a lot of sqiggles, and she liked how I did borders because 'things are always cut off'. I actually meant that 'you never see the whole picture aswell' but I was too lazy.
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The computer is fucking with me! Do not get angry!
Jeez! I was on the computer, and then the fucking thing logged me out! I had to go re-log the fucking thing, and then I had to wait for the thing to reload all the shit it has to, and then log in all over again! And it's not like I don't have to pick up my brother! I just go on this as an excuse, because by the time I come back, I have like 40 minutes before I have to turn back, and the library is on the way home, and I go in the same direction to pick him up, so I'm just wasting time!
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 I'm angry! Like always!
Yesterday, I was very angry after I went on the computers. Between the year 7s in the computer and when I went to lunch. All they did was point at me, and laugh. I was in a bad mood as it is, but they made it so fucking blatant! I gave them a dirty look, and she just whispered again to her friend. I would have started a fight, but I was too lazy and annoyed.
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Monday, June 6, 2005
 Please let me not kill thy fucking idiots! I have a clenched fist, and want to kill at the moment!
I am so sick and tired of the bloody year 7s! I don't care if they are in my sister's calss! They are all assholes! They talk about shit too much, and go onto exactly the same thing, and they don't know how to work the computers! I am usually angry, but I am more angry than normal. I am not going to moan that much.
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I am kinda non-pissed, but then again, I've had yoga!
I didn't have my usual teacher because I think she's on holiday, and she also thinks I'm suicidal because I make her think that. I make sure I made her think it because I draw pictures of death and shit! Very funny. The lady today wasn't as happy, but she looked at me alot throughout. I did the breathing exercises, and I was crap because of my asthma. I didn't tell her though.
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Sunday, June 5, 2005
I am very happy! Not. I am very pissed. I am in just one of those moods, so bear with me this week!
I have been kinda weird since yesterday. My brother has been annoying me all week, and I was on the train back, well all of us were, and I was thinking, and then I stumbled on something, but I can't remember what it was, but I have been my old horrible self. I dunno why though. I am happy I'm back to normal though! Yay! Horrible loner Amaris is back! Lets all hide!
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Friday, June 3, 2005
Piss off!
Today, for the first time ever, I wore a fucking short skirt of my own approval! I was walking, and I felt the stupid breeze on my leg, and I was walking like I was showing it off, and I was waiting to cross the road, and I had my pen in my mouth, and my folder, and looking for an available time to cross the road, and this old guy is looking at my legs, and then he tuts, but he's actually checking me out! Cunt! Then I go into the library, and everyone looks at me. Then when I come off, I go upstairs to the children's library part, and the lady who I always see, sees me, but she can't believe it's me, because I always go to the library after-school! Then I was in the library, reserving books, and then I went BACK downstairs to look for comics, and then I went home. On the way home, all these guys were 'checking me out' while I felt like taking the damn thing off, and then there was this guy in his van, and he looked at me, and laughed! I so felt like boxing him, but then again, he was an adult, so I stopped in my tracks. I don't like attention! I utterly hate it!
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No BLT today! I did actually eat one the last 2 days I didn't say. Boo hoo to me!
No more BLTs for me. I'm bored. I have to get off soon. I'm wearing me 'ra-ra' skirt! I've just been prancing incessantly. Nothing. Did my homework! Not all. I should. Due in on Tuesday.
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