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• 1991-07-11
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Female
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• 2003-10-10
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• Sixth Form student, fan girl, writer and struggling artist/ creator
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• Amaris Hope you like the name because it is really so!
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Achievements
• Not killing the people in my school YET, or the world; being able to push people away; being socially isolated; let my grades go down because I'm lazy and an idiot; read all the books in my library, get my english teacher to think I self-harm (DSH)
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• I was 7, Yr 3, 1998 or so. The first anime was the infamous 'Sailor Moon'! XD
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• Most of them except Ultimate Muscle because it is soo ruubiishh-o! I Love 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'! Shinji is such a passive-aggressive boy, and he hates himself so! I can relate, because I hate myself. I hate everyone else in the world!Human condition!
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• to actually finish a story!;To not die before 40, to get a good job which I enjoy- IMPOSSIBLE!; To find someone I love; to not end up killing myself because I suffer from depression.
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• reading, writing (all-sorts) and watching tv, getting annoyed, typing, blaming myself; being TOO perceptive; seeing all the faults of the world; telling people off if they are wrong; trying to decipher the world
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myOtaku.com: Outlaw Melfina
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Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
Pages (238): [ First ][ Previous ] 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 [ Next ] [ Last ]
Sunday, May 8, 2005
Yay! I am back from hell! 'Twas fun!
Shit I'm tired! I didn't sleep until like 3 in the morning on the first night because the boys and the set of girls next door would not shut the fuck up, and then, as I'm an early bird, I woke up at 5 in the morning. I was very tired. And then last night, I didn't sleep until 4, and then woke up at 6! Damn I'm tired! There was a ping-pong table, and I spent most of my 'free time' playing. I now have a bad right arm, and yesterday, I was playing in my socks, because they moved my shoes, and then I tried to hit it, and I slipped on the floor, and Michael and Joe were like "Where'd she go?" and laughed when they saw me get up! I've been limping all day, and I want to sleep. On the way back, it was funny because I was hanging around with Joe, Alex who can't remember, or say me name, Arthur, and Leo. We were all being initially stupid, and there were these gummy snakes, and I bit the heads off, and stuck them to my lips. That lasted for 2 hours. I ate constantly to keep my blood sugar up, and then we had fun making up a word for a story, and then Joe and Alex did one about me, where I had sex with me doctor, and then my prostitute, cross-dressing daughter had sex with the same doctor. Incest. It was funny how all of them didn't know what a gigolo was! Basically, for those who don't know, it's a male prostitute. Joe asked how he should know that! It was mainly stupid because most of the boys were pretending to be gay. Very dodgy. Marvin and Michael obviously didn't act gay, because they black, and black man dun act gay! All the boys kept looking at me. How many? There was Rory, Joe, Tom, Marvin, Michael, Alex, and others. Plenty! Am I that attractive? Me and Michael fought each other because we were being stupid, and I think he likes me. In bowling, I came second to my catechist. I got one strike. The only time Michael got 9 pins down was when I did it for him because he went to get some food. Today, we got into a fight, and he was behind me, and grappling me around my left arm, and then I stepped on his foot with force, and then we stumbled backwards, and knocked a chair over. This was over a ping-pong bat. Yes, I know, sad. That is all I have to say at the moment.
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Friday, May 6, 2005
Female Outlaw is fool!
On Fridays, we usually do nothing. Once in technology, Heather kept calling me a wanker. Deborah didn't know what a wanker was, and I said, and she stopped calling me a wanker! (a wanker is a person who likes to masturbate. I said a persaon who gets ready for sex, but not doing it with anyone. My teacher Mr. yes Mr. Chitwa was near. Now he looks at me weird.) Last week, Deborah, kept saying motherfucker, and then she realised what it actually meant. I.e. you fuck your mother. She has no stopped saying it.
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No internet 'til Sunday! Noooooooooo!
I am so unhappy! I have to go a stupid trip, and we can't bring a CD player, so I'm just going to read comics and a shit book I got.
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Thursday, May 5, 2005
 Am I that scary?
I found Deborah when I got off the computer, and she came up to the computer room when I got off. I was lining up for lunch, as Deborah had already been, and there were these year 11s, and one was been 'mouthy' to one of our deputy heads, who was doing lunch duty. They went in, so I was waiting, and then I'm hanging around, with a seriously angry face, I was bored, and then I see Mr Smith! The guy who me and Deborah came across one day, and, I shouted "who's he?" and we've seen him everyday since. Well, anyway, I saw him, and I kept having the 'angry' face on, and he saw me, and he looked really scared, and intimidated, and he looked down, but kept seeing if I changed my expression! It was funny, and awkward for him! Then he talked to the deputy head, looking at me weird! Ha! I scared an introverted new teacher man! Ha!
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Yay! There hasn't been confirmation class for 2 weeks, but now we have to all spend the weekend together!
Oh hooray! I'm gonna be going outside London, (no, it isn't the first time in my life. I've been to York) and I am going to have to be spending a good 3 hours or something mad with stupid middle-class white people who talk about shit I have no clue about! (and no, I am not being racist. I went to primary school with most of them. 7 years! I think you'd know something about them! No, it is not a generalisation. The primary school I went to was primarily middle-class white people, with their self-importance, and their children they don't pay attention to.) The problem is also, the boys won't even give me eye contact because I am a girl, and would like R'n'B, though I like rock, and then they are going to ask me what I'm going to listen to, and I'll say some band they've never heard of, and then ask me again, or go off me, and I'm going to be in a bad mood because I am tired, and, I hope that freak Declan isn't going to come! God! He doesn't have ANY reassurance of who he is! I know who I am better than he knows himself, and he's 23! He is such an under-confident angry weedy guy! He's going to get married aswell! To this other lady who's there called Marie. She seems bossy. I don't like her. Gareth, who's one of the people head of my group takes a weird liking to me, like quite alot of men. Don't ask. I will report on Sunday, and probably will be angry! So 'til then!
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Ah! So bored am I!
There's noting to do! I've gone through all my friends list from earlier, and there's no one on, nad the people on are boring! I'm not coming out of this library 'til 5, and it's 4, and I don't belong to anything else! Help!
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 Happy 5th of the 5th of the 5th!
It's the 5th of May '05! Hooray! I celebrated this last year because I was bored, and need a life! Happy 05.05.05 anyway!
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I'm gonna get psychiatric help!
Basically, yesterday, my mum was on the phone, and I came in, waiting for her to get off, so I could ask her something. She was talking saying how 'yeah. She's really kind, and sociable, and gets on with alot of people in her class'. I thought she was talking about Mairin, my 'nice' younger sister, but NO! She was talking about me! It was Miss Ungaro! A teacjer who 'knows everyone', and teaches me History. She had phoned to ask if I wanted to go to a group therapy shitty thing. I said to my mum, I might as well, and I had got into this trap before, because in year 8, I had a 'learning mentor'. That was shit. I wrote about her in my previous posts when I was year 8. Basically, she's shit! She was a happy happy person, and I'm not! It was a waste of a year!
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I'm gonna get psychiatric help!
Basically, yesterday, my mum was on the phone, and I came in, waiting for her to get off, so I could ask her something. She was talking saying how 'yeah. She's really kind, and sociable, and gets on with alot of people in her class'. I thought she was talking about Mairin, my 'nice' younger sister, but NO! She was talking about me! It was Miss Ungaro! A teacjer who 'knows everyone', and teaches me History. She had phoned to ask if I wanted to go to a group therapy shitty thing. I said to my mum, I might as well, and I had got into this trap before, because in year 8, I had a 'learning mentor'. That was shit. I wrote about her in my previous posts when I was year 8. Basically, she's shit! She was a happy happy person, and I'm not! It was a waste of a year!
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English was EASY!
I just did my English SATs, and it was EASY! EASY I say! I'm just good at English, as you probably see! I always get level 7s, which is what I'm supposed to get. The average is level 6. Maths yesterday was hard! Never want to do that again! I'm just one of those people who are ABSOLUTE SHIT at coursework, and good at tests. Everyone else is the opposite way 'round, so in GCSEs, I have to do coursework. I can no do corsework!
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