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Birthday
• 1991-07-11
Gender
• Female
Location
• somewhere where you don't know, actually London in England
Member Since
• 2003-10-10
Occupation
• Sixth Form student, fan girl, writer and struggling artist/ creator
Real Name
• Amaris Hope you like the name because it is really so!

Personal

Achievements
• Not killing the people in my school YET, or the world; being able to push people away; being socially isolated; let my grades go down because I'm lazy and an idiot; read all the books in my library, get my english teacher to think I self-harm (DSH)
Anime Fan Since
• I was 7, Yr 3, 1998 or so. The first anime was the infamous 'Sailor Moon'! XD
Favorite Anime
• Most of them except Ultimate Muscle because it is soo ruubiishh-o! I Love 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'! Shinji is such a passive-aggressive boy, and he hates himself so! I can relate, because I hate myself. I hate everyone else in the world!Human condition!
Goals
• to actually finish a story!;To not die before 40, to get a good job which I enjoy- IMPOSSIBLE!; To find someone I love; to not end up killing myself because I suffer from depression.
Hobbies
• reading, writing (all-sorts) and watching tv, getting annoyed, typing, blaming myself; being TOO perceptive; seeing all the faults of the world; telling people off if they are wrong; trying to decipher the world
Talents
• daydreaming, singing, irritating the hell out of people, scarcasm, coldness, singing out of tune, being horrible, making skwibblies, procrastinating, staring into space, drawing, forgetting things and other stuff




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myOtaku.com: Outlaw Melfina

Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.

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Saturday, April 2, 2005

   Home!
Well, I'm home. It's 9:26 here, and it has suddenly turned cold. Still wearing me dodgy clothes. Me so bored, and the thing I joined up to doesn't work, so I am going to go on it at the library, as the computers are so slow. My nose has avted up, but I don't have my snot rag to blow my nose, and there are no tissues.

Today I am tired, because I woke up at liteerally the carck of dawn; basically 4:40 am. I have a clock, and I can read it easily. It was really cold, and bright. Didn't go to sleep, because the loft bed kept squeaking every single time I turned around, but I was restless, so I couldn't sleep! Darn!

I also made some fried dumplings! Basically, it's 7 tablespoons of flour, and then hot water from a kettle, and you can add some seasoning, or not, and then you mix it around, I added too much water when my mum left the room to answer the door to let my brother and sister in. Then you put it on the frying pan, and let it sizzle. It goes brown, and then my mum turned them over. I also ate a whole fried up onion, and ate some left-over ackee and saltfish with it. I gorged myself. Then I went to the library, and then Sainsbury's,a dn then went home. I bought my favourites, chocolate covered raisins, and gorged myself on practically the whole packet. Then about half an hour later, I got a stomachache, which serves me rihgt, anyway, fine now. My dad kicked out me mum 'cause she was supposed to go to a place with friends, but then they decided to come here, as me dad hadn't come yet. He has, and made us look for the remote, and it was behind me brothers' bedroom door! He! He! He! WEll, seeya tomorrows!
Comments (2) | Permalink

   I can finally get to my guestbook!
Aggggggggggghhhhhhhhh! I couldn't get to my guestbook at home, and the thing was so bloody well irritating me! The fucker! Anyway, very happy, and hopefully update more! Found no books at the moment, but hey! It's a good library! Manga!
Comments (4) | Permalink

   I like dressing up as a freak!
I am at the library now, and I am glad that I am getting some looks! I am wearing a baby blue top without sleeves, and me green, yes green skirt with vertical stripes, with a slit down the back, and some white short socks, that's all i had, and my deadly black shoes. Yes. I am so sad! Then I have a light black flimsy handbag. I am soo stylish! I should be a fashion consultant!
Comments (6) | Permalink



Friday, April 1, 2005

Mmmmmmmmmmmm! Ackee and saltfish!
Yep! I am returning to my Jamaican instincts, or whatever. I had a piece of really salty bit of fish though. I love fish by the way! Fishy! Fishy! Ackee tastes like dodgy buttery stuff, and saltfish tastes like salty fish. The house now smells of it, but it was Christmas the last time we had it.
Comments (3) | Permalink

   Well, yesterday's post was a little weird! It was dodgy, yesterday's post, but I couldn't do anything about it.
The post was stupid, but I had to go to bed before I could do anything. Stupid thing! Had a fine day. Did nothing today. Watched this film I had already watched called 'Love after death' or something. Me really bored. Wearing a frigging padded bra, and a skirt, that I accidently ripped because I sit like I wear trousers. Me fool. Plaited me hair. Haven't read any comics lately. Me lazy. Woke at 8:15 this morning, why, I don't know. Then the construction work started, but was too lazy to get up. Blah!
Comments (1) | Permalink



Thursday, March 31, 2005

   Posty post on a 'deep' thing I said while I was having an emotional breakdown, while in me bath. I was crying. Too much built up emotion! Darn!
I sit here with my back against the tree. How everything is light, and has a lease of life. It's spring. Everything happy and new, but I feel dead and lifeless. Dead without Draurus here. After all, he is dead. Dead aas a doornail. After he took that fateful plunge that I was so going to take. The knife glints in the dismal, fractured sunlight. How it calls me to bring itself to feel my blood. I remember when he caught me. He smiled, why did he smile? It was like beckoning me to do it. To just end up killing myself? His taunting smile. The knife brings me that memory back. So vivid, yet black and white.

Hope you like it. It's off one of me current stories I'm hjave yet to write.
Comments (1) | Permalink

   Hello! Uneventful day today, but I did have a mini emotional breakdown.
Well, I had one of me famous half-dreams. Basically, you are inbetween conciousness, and unconciousness, semi-conciousness. You have twisted dreams of real life, and dream stuff. I was toring with this guy, and he liked me, and that was it. Sad really. Didn't get dressed untilabout 2pm today, and I ate no breakfast, as I got up at 10:55am, even though I woke at 9am. Blah! I was really upset, and lately, more than normal, I've felt really dodgy, and I doubt it's the hormones. Lately, I've been having the begginings of a growth spurt. Two weeks ago, or so, I was falling all over the place, and now me bloody breasts are tender like no means! I remember it was like that when I had me last in year 7 or so. Well. Blah!
Comments (2) | Permalink



Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Damn you excema! Damn you leg and face, and hands itching me, and damn you flat gaming fingers!
I am not that happy today. My excema rash on me face, and itching me like hell, and the rash on me leg is calling me now! I watched 'Double the fist' again today. Why I am telling you this I don't know, but it's this Austrailian programme. We get quite alot of them, but it's a spoof comedy sketch thing, with CGI, and it's 'extreme'. Basically this short fat guy with sunglasses always on, called Steve Foxx, hosts the show, together with team members- Mephisto, The Womp, and Rod Foxx. They do a 'hard' tasks, and such. It's all fake, but funny.
Bye! Seeya tomorrow!
Comments (6) | Permalink

Whyyyyyyyy???????? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy???
Jeez! I'm so sick and tired of 'theotaku' keep bloody well changing! You can see EVERYTHING before you get in! There's no thrill anymore of what is in for a surprise in the way of either a guestbook entry, )of which I can't get into. Sorry) or a PM, or you've jumped 6 places in popularity, and the biggest problem, is that the colours are so bloody skanky! Grey and orange just don't mix! I wish it was back to the inviting blue it used to be back whenI started in '03! The colours now aren't inviting at all! Well, atleast once you're in myotaku, the nasty grey has gone! It's nice and blue as it previously was. Ahhhhh! Rant is over.
Comments (3) | Permalink



Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Thouhgt of the day (Actually thought of the day about two weeks ago, but forget it.)
Happiness and 'moodiness'.
Well, on whatever day it was in Mr France.
I was in the four bit, where you face people, and we were laughing alot, and I was actually being nice. (Everyone likes me now, as they saw a different side of me) I started thinking, "I can't think in a bad mood!" That started me thinking. When I'm hyper, and Judith's in a bad mood, I am obnoxios, but can't actually understand how it feels to be upset, and all bitchy, even thought I'm usually like that. That also got me thinking about those stewpee cliche parts in Mr animes, where the 'stupid happy person' can't understand why the 'uptight' and 'depressed' one is like they are. Maybe that's why people pester me so much? Because they can't understand the reason I'm so down.
Comments (3) | Permalink

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