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myOtaku.com
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Birthday
• 1991-07-11
Gender
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Female
Location
• somewhere where you don't know, actually London in England
Member Since
• 2003-10-10
Occupation
• Sixth Form student, fan girl, writer and struggling artist/ creator
Real Name
• Amaris Hope you like the name because it is really so!
Personal
Achievements
• Not killing the people in my school YET, or the world; being able to push people away; being socially isolated; let my grades go down because I'm lazy and an idiot; read all the books in my library, get my english teacher to think I self-harm (DSH)
Anime Fan Since
• I was 7, Yr 3, 1998 or so. The first anime was the infamous 'Sailor Moon'! XD
Favorite Anime
• Most of them except Ultimate Muscle because it is soo ruubiishh-o! I Love 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'! Shinji is such a passive-aggressive boy, and he hates himself so! I can relate, because I hate myself. I hate everyone else in the world!Human condition!
Goals
• to actually finish a story!;To not die before 40, to get a good job which I enjoy- IMPOSSIBLE!; To find someone I love; to not end up killing myself because I suffer from depression.
Hobbies
• reading, writing (all-sorts) and watching tv, getting annoyed, typing, blaming myself; being TOO perceptive; seeing all the faults of the world; telling people off if they are wrong; trying to decipher the world
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myOtaku.com: Outlaw Melfina
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Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
Pages (238): [ First ][ Previous ] 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 [ Next ] [ Last ]
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
That girl needs therapy!
I'm going to get counselling, but it'll be 2 weeks before I can get an appointment because the lady who works with our family is on holiday. >_> I'm looking forward to it though. To talk to someone who doesn't influence.
I criticised a friend today, and she's gone all depressed and avoiding me. All I said was that she goes on and on. She's a soft touch anyway.
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Tuesday, September 11, 2007
I'M COMBATING DIESEASE!
Yeah, my body's fighting tonsilitis and last night I went all loopy, laughing hysterically about nothing at all!
I was made to watch the VMAs last night. It was so boring, and Britney's 'COME BACK' was a disappointment! She couldn't be bothered.
Chris Brown being Chris Brown wasn't very impressive.
Also, I may go to BERLIN! Yeah man! Germany! :D I hope it goes well.
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Monday, September 10, 2007
 I've gotten what I deserve!
Ah yes, I now have my favourite teacher for English literature once again! My favouritist teacher who abominably thought that I cut my wrists and was suicidal. She couldn't even look me in the eye when I told my form tutor to pass on the message that I did not. She makes me laugh though!
It's my sister's first day of school because she was sick before; which means it's the first time in over 2 1/2 months that my mum has the home to herself, because I was at home when I wasn't having my tests in May.
I also have tonsilitis, and feel like shit. On Friday, I had the sniffles and my nose was running like the Niagara Falls. Then, on Saturday, I felt drained, and then yesterday, I felt rough! My throat is all small, and when I cough, it's like I am coughing up my lungs! >.<
Also, sorry for not commenting on alot of your sites. I can't because the computer is so damn slow.
The depression is waving about. It's more environmental at the moment. Blegh!
My dad's also coming over tomorrow for my parents have family therapy. I found it funny in one session, where I was called protective! ^^ ROFL I really did not consider myself to be caring of my brother and sister! I just act the way I do without thinking.
Also, I'm getting a heart! *squeals* I'm so happy that I've gotten a wide range of emotions! ROFL
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Saturday, September 8, 2007
*sighs* Feel like shit
Going over from when I was 13. Man was life hard for me. At least I found someone who cared for me though back then. Someone who I thought was my best friend abandoned me when I told her I had depression. I felt like no one cared for me, and only that one person did, whilst I was in immense pain. I would have liked to thank him for holding my hand for all that time, but sadly, we are no longer in contact, and our paths are no longer crossed. I would like to thank Mergani, but I still hold him in regard for abandoning me like so others. Up 'til then, I had never felt so wanted by someone whilst remembering how my father hadn't cared for me. I've never spoken to someone with such intensity, but now I have someone whom I really care for, and it feels the same, if not moreso. I do not wish for the days to be back, as I have the mere memories to keep me happy. *smiles*
Amaris Drausinus Catrina Dixon
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Friday, September 7, 2007
Adding a post
WEnt to meal yesterday, people got drunk, and most of them are under 18! Most were 17! I wasn't impressed, and as soon as it was over, I was going home! It was Sangria, by the way- the drink. It's lethal and REALLY ALCOHOLIC. I don't like alcohol because m,y dad's an alchy and he is not nice when drunk. All the people had that drunken glint in their eyes...
I had tapas as the meal, (Spanish food which is just on a platter) so I scoffed my face! I was so tired when going home, that I was waiting for the train on the platform and I was falling asleep standing up! ROFL
WEnt to see the Dali exhibition, and I do have to say that I am thoroughly impressed. It inspired me to draw and paint again, even though I'm not an art student anymore! ^^
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Thursday, September 6, 2007
 I'm baacck!
For the wig, I'm cosplaying as Miwako from 'Paradise Kiss'. She has pink hair. ![]() Voila!School's alright. Haven't had any lessons yet. I'm nervous though! The amount of work I will have to do, and I'm so atrociously lazy! I'm dreading all the reading for English!
I may even have to stop coming on here! *pain grips heart* It's nearly been 4 years now! Can I but let you go?! I truly don't know! MY mum is kind of letting me be independent, but I feel as though she's just pushing me away, and I never fight with her, but we're starting to argue, and I don't like conflict, so it hurts.
I've got my red tights on, which are bright against my black skirt and black and white shirt, and the amount of stares! >.<
Been watching 'Elfen Lied', and I want to see the next episode! I'm at school during a free lesson, so I have nothing to do. The computer technician threatened us, but MyO has been on here for the nearly 4 years I've been on, so I don't think it's going to disappear anytime soon.
Also, today, something really nasty happened today. In the news on the radio, a lady was knocked down by lorry, presumably died, and the whole road leading up the another town, including the stations around the area were closed; my brother had to be taken to school by my mum because the bus would have taken an alternative route, so he wouldn't have known what to do.
I@m so bored in this free lesson! I know it won't last, but all the same! Boredom can kill!
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Tuesday, September 4, 2007
And the hell starts tomorrow.
School starts again tomorrow, but at least it's only a half-day really! It also means another year 7 lot, with a whole bunch of nasty people and a bunch of the sheepish kind, like I am, and also, I'LL BE ON AT THE SAME TIME WHEN ON THE COMP AT SCHOOL, SO I'LL HAVE SOME RHYTHM TO MY LIFE AGAIN!
I can't wait to see some people and have some regularity in my life again to be frank. I'm looking forward to the confrontations as well, because they always give me a buzz.
I also have my cosplay even on the 28th of this month, it's free, to see the latest 'Ghost in the shell' film, so it's going to be hilarious because you have to cosplay, but ti's adults only, so I KNOW I'll be seeing 30 and 40 year olds dressed up as anime characters! Also means that I'll have to prepare my pink wig again, by curling the hair. OH JOY!
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Sunday, September 2, 2007
 Feel sick for no reason
Yeah, today is the last weekend of my freedom forever. This has been the last summer where I have no responsibilities or cares. *sighs* I'm not looking forward to the rest of my life, wtih even more constant anxiety. :(
A random saying of mine I like to say:
'I am lazy, can't you see? Because that's the integral part of me, that holds me back, unfortunately'
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Saturday, September 1, 2007
I've gotten the support I've wanted! lol (I've finally bought some new bras.)
Yeah, yesterady, I got some new ones because my other ones were old and literally falling apart. I have 2 normal ones, one t-shirt one and a multi-way, which I wanted for the sake of when I wear my cosplay outfit because the shoulders are in such a way that I need a strapless bra.
I also looked back through my diary, which dated back to 21st of November last year, and I have made such progress! It's actually quite cool! From being so low, to being constantly worried to just a bit fine now.
My dad has also gone, so the tension has disappeared in the house. I can roam wherever I want now!
School starts back on Wednesday, so I'm expectant of that. I now have to decide what I@m going to wear in the mornings! >.<
I so love this song! *Dances like a loon*
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Thursday, August 30, 2007
CARMEN JONES!
Yeah, went to see it last night. 'Twas very enjoyable. It was weird seeing so many black people singing operatic songs! I wasn't all there in the head, so I didn't really absorb it, but it was still grand.
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