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myOtaku.com
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Birthday
• 1991-07-11
Gender
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Female
Location
• somewhere where you don't know, actually London in England
Member Since
• 2003-10-10
Occupation
• Sixth Form student, fan girl, writer and struggling artist/ creator
Real Name
• Amaris Hope you like the name because it is really so!
Personal
Achievements
• Not killing the people in my school YET, or the world; being able to push people away; being socially isolated; let my grades go down because I'm lazy and an idiot; read all the books in my library, get my english teacher to think I self-harm (DSH)
Anime Fan Since
• I was 7, Yr 3, 1998 or so. The first anime was the infamous 'Sailor Moon'! XD
Favorite Anime
• Most of them except Ultimate Muscle because it is soo ruubiishh-o! I Love 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'! Shinji is such a passive-aggressive boy, and he hates himself so! I can relate, because I hate myself. I hate everyone else in the world!Human condition!
Goals
• to actually finish a story!;To not die before 40, to get a good job which I enjoy- IMPOSSIBLE!; To find someone I love; to not end up killing myself because I suffer from depression.
Hobbies
• reading, writing (all-sorts) and watching tv, getting annoyed, typing, blaming myself; being TOO perceptive; seeing all the faults of the world; telling people off if they are wrong; trying to decipher the world
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myOtaku.com: Outlaw Melfina
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Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
Pages (238): [ First ][ Previous ] 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 [ Next ] [ Last ]
Sunday, December 24, 2006
 Tidying day today. Blegh. But it's Christmas!
Well, whoever didn't see my Christmas wishes, then look at the previous post. Sadly, it's my ugly mug. lol
Anyway, woke up at midday; I've been really tired, but can't sleep well. Ah well.
I've got midnight mass tonight, so I won't be getting home until 1:30 am or whatever. I doubt I'll be on tomorrow, but I hope all of you enjoy the Christmas season, and etc. (I am so low on words it's not funny!)
Anyway, I'll visit your sites, as my brother hasn't been on the computer yet, and it's a fecking retarded thing!
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Saturday, December 23, 2006
Need sleep!
Went to bed late. 20 to midnight to be precise, and I am paying for it via a coldsore. Darn. I need to go to bed early, for I have to go to midnight mass tomorrow night. How fun?
My dad left this morn. I woke at 10 ish this morn, and he left at midday ish, so I got up. I thought he was going to try to stay this Christmas.
Nothing else really.
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Friday, December 22, 2006
 I am unable to get to my backroom, so it is impossible to get to your sites. It has been an hour, and no pages are loading.
I'm getting rather annoyed now, as I didn't get on last night, because it was too late. It's 22:20 at the mo, and I should go to bed, but I've hardly done a thing! Damn thing!
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Christams is but a few days away, and it does not feel like it!
Maybe I'm just not in the mood, being unwell and all, but it's drawing near, and my holidays will be over soon. No! They've just begun! Today was my first day of holidays, and I stayed in bed until 2 pm today. I woke up alot though. That was unfortunate.
Haven't done anything. I planned to wake up early last night, but I didn't. I think I may add some poems, but only when I feel like it.
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Thursday, December 21, 2006
Feeling bad, but it's the last day.
I have felt nauseous all day, but it's the last day, so I have to truck on.
The trip/ meal to Nando's was totally as expected. People who haven't come to the meetings since September popped up. All the people there are 18 years old, and I'm the youngest person, so it was pretty alienating. Got to the Tate at 5pm, and we got to Victoria, which is near the Tate at about 6. We had to sit near the door. The door was glass. Not fun. So it was bitterly cold the whole time, and my nose was running all day, so I was just waiting for that. I stuffed myself up, having more than I should have, and I drank alot, and when I got home on the notorious Victoria line, I thought I was going to die. It was interesting listening to peoples' idiocities,a nd talking about getting bladdered all the time. Very pathetic. And as a 15 year old, I know nothing of the sort, and am not subjected that kind of life, even though I knew those kinds of people through my mum being at uni, and I thought it was awful, and still is!
Well, it's still cold here. My stomach hurts really badly, and it's Christmas on Monday, so I'm very much looking forward to getting my 'Neon Genesis Evangelion' boxset, and understanding the true intent of humanity and civilisation! :P
I am happy now. Haven't even thought about the dark and ugly (suicidal thoughts and of self-harm. Got to love it!!!!). That's good.I'm past that layer I think. I am just a drone now.
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Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Wasn't well yesterday.
I felt like someone had spun me, and then smacked me in the left side of my head. Not fun. So I felt sick in Science, but we had a test, and I wanted to finish it, and then I told the teacher and went home.
I didn't update on Monday because I stayed at home. The alarm went off, at 6:55, I told my mum I didn't feel well, went back to sleep and didn't wake until 2:50. I don't sleep during the day. What does that tell you?
I was exhausted.
Well, onwards rather than backwards. Today, it is own clothes day. Most people are either dressed gangster or like they are going to a party. I am wearing what I wore on Saturday- white jumper with big neck thing, my aubergine tights and my shorts. Yes the looks are a-coming, but what are you gong to do about it?
I finish at 2 today, and I have to go and buy a purse fo' my motther! Yay! I don't mind.
Recently, it has gotten cold, and there is the infamous FOG! So it's freezing today! Me wearing shorts is okay, but it's still cold. What a girl does for fashion!
My father arrived last night. Thought I'd just add that in.
Thanks for making me have low self-esteem and hating myself as a little child because you made me believe I was worthless!
Gotta love you pa! X(
(I like to keep the notes on when he's around for the fact that I have to know!)
I've also got a Tate Forum meal tonight at Nando's! Yay! Chicken Portugese style! I hate pepper though.
Onwards to the sky and my penultimate day!
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Sunday, December 17, 2006
Manchester was cold to say the least.
The outcome of the trip yesterday?
I made a new enemy. A black girl called Hadeena or something. I don't know how to spell her name. She came to the last session, the one I wasn't allowed to go to.
I saw her when I got to Euston at 8:27 and saw Theo who didn't recognise me, and then she came with her black self (why I'm being racist I don't know). I gave her a chance, and I ended up sitting next to her, and she was totally disrespective of me.
It turned out she had a rough upbringing of drug taking and all (the first time I've talked to a person that rough. I'm so posh! XD) and she was very much a person who NEEDED to rely upon people and she said I will always be persuaded by peer pressure in which I told her she didn't know me because it doesn't affect me, and she said things about psychological pressure, and Rebecca, the lady who brought us said I was very assured, and Corrine said how I knew what I was doing and I was cool, and I was pissed off at her.
What really annoyed me was when we were getting off the train at cold Manchester (it was so cold!) I told her to pick up all the stuff, and she said no, and I said it several times. She got annoyed and threw croissant at me, and I glared at her. She's 17 years old. Some people.
It was an alright day, but I don't know anyone really well except two really from Tate Forum. I'm the only person who comes from my school, so it's kind of lonely, but I've got my thoughts to keep me company until I get tapped on the shoulder by the two people I know, and it ruins my thought patterns.
One of the people I know, Nivek, the Indian South African, I'm fond of him, and he was saying how I think that he was kind of creepy, but honestly to God, I don't remember. Maybe I said that to Deborah on the 23rd Sept or something. I am just not much of a talker, like I told him, when I'm not comfortable around people snd tired.
I shall add more tomorrow.
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Friday, December 15, 2006
 If you want to talk to mean in the evening (for me anyway,) YOU CAN'T!
I'm on early for I have my trip to Manchester tomo's, and I have to get up at fecking 6:45. Oh great! So I'm on early to get the hours over and done with. I need to go to bed early, so I don't snap at people and start being grumpy.
My godmother is also coming this evening.
Well, excema is itchy, and here's a pic!
Enjoy yourselves this winter! (I meant weekend and/ or Christmas, but I don't know)
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Choir all-day. No lessons, but more idiots. Indeed it is hell.
Well, no lessons today. There are just foolish year 7s- 11 and 12 year-olds who can't stop talking. Very wrong. Heather, Deborah and myself have been bitching about them.
One girl touched me three times. I don't like to be touched because of my esteem problems and it got me distressed.
Also, today is my friend Sarah's birthday. I saw her this morning and skipped across the road and told her happy birthday. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to make her a card because upon getting home from Tate Forum, I didn't do anything and went to bed. She said it was fine, so we went to school, and then she popped off to the sweet shop to buy some sweets. She offered, but I said no. She gave me some of her prized 'daim' bars, and I had some. Sarah was in her black coat which I hadn't seen before, so when I saw her, I didn't know if it was her. Then I saw one of the deouty headteachers, so she had to stff it in her bag, but it didn't fit. I offered mine, but someone else came, and it fit. I saw Deborah then. It was hilarious.
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Thursday, December 14, 2006
A dolllllllll!
Dollwizard: Make your own custom dolls!
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