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myOtaku.com
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Birthday
• 1991-07-11
Gender
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Female
Location
• somewhere where you don't know, actually London in England
Member Since
• 2003-10-10
Occupation
• Sixth Form student, fan girl, writer and struggling artist/ creator
Real Name
• Amaris Hope you like the name because it is really so!
Personal
Achievements
• Not killing the people in my school YET, or the world; being able to push people away; being socially isolated; let my grades go down because I'm lazy and an idiot; read all the books in my library, get my english teacher to think I self-harm (DSH)
Anime Fan Since
• I was 7, Yr 3, 1998 or so. The first anime was the infamous 'Sailor Moon'! XD
Favorite Anime
• Most of them except Ultimate Muscle because it is soo ruubiishh-o! I Love 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'! Shinji is such a passive-aggressive boy, and he hates himself so! I can relate, because I hate myself. I hate everyone else in the world!Human condition!
Goals
• to actually finish a story!;To not die before 40, to get a good job which I enjoy- IMPOSSIBLE!; To find someone I love; to not end up killing myself because I suffer from depression.
Hobbies
• reading, writing (all-sorts) and watching tv, getting annoyed, typing, blaming myself; being TOO perceptive; seeing all the faults of the world; telling people off if they are wrong; trying to decipher the world
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myOtaku.com: Outlaw Melfina
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Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
Pages (238): [ First ][ Previous ] 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 [ Next ] [ Last ]
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Going to Tate thing!
I'm going to go and get a security pass! I'm so glad! Just hope I don't go and go to bed late, and be braindead for the test tomorrow! I feel so empowered today! I'm smiling!
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 Thursday's post!
I'm in a good mood today! I wrote some stuff about how I'm different, and my 'wonderful' sense of humour, and stuff, so I feel envigorated.
My Religion test is on tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it, as I know all the stories because they were ingrained into my mind as a child!
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Wednesday, June 21, 2006
I'm bored, so here are some pics that I've uploaded!
Oh. I had a maths test, and as I always do, I was taking it easy, but I did so badly! All the things I had revised weren't in the test, which was very frustrating! Ah well! On with the pictures!
   
Good bye!
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Sorry for being so useless!
I won't be able to get to your sites today, but fear not! I will go crazy on Friday, and visit peoples' sites from this day to Friday! So okay?
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Hmmm... how's today been?
Well, English was hell. The person I sit next to, again they didn't have their stuff, so I had to kind of share. We were looking at another poem, and then annotating, i.e. making notes, and then we had to do work, and she has a friend who sits infront of her, and us sharing a table, she rocks it leaning forward, and then her leaning back. It was annoying because the teacher, she's female was talking about herself, and then the girl infront was talking about how now they kind of like her, whereas, they were criticising her at the beginning of the year, which I think was wrong, so I was annoyed. I am annoyed today, so I was biting my tongue, and holding back my fist.
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Tuesday, June 20, 2006
I had a weird dream that I had big holes in my teeth.
It gives me goosebumps even now!
I wake up at 5-5:58 every morning, and I have to wake up at 7, so it mucks up my sleep pattern, and I had a dream that my teeth had holes in them, because I have some old glue on my teeth from my braces. It was so weird! I could feel the inside enamel, and they had to be taken out! It just makes me shiver!
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Yeah, I know I can come across hostile!
Sorry, but that's just my thing. I don't really want to bring up the reason why. Okay, it's my childhood; I was told I was rubbish by my father since I was 4, so I have self-esteem issues. And confidence issues. It's long.
Anyway, I don't mean to be hostile. That's just the way I am. I very very many unresolved issues, and I'm a teenager above all things, so sorry!
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 All I say on this is always taken in the wrong way.
I'm getting pretty sick and tired of saying things, and them being thrown in my face, and then calling me an idiot and such. It's tiring. I am always getting annoyed of being on here, and it seems pointless. Especially the fact that I'm not seeing any of you face to face.
Maybe I'm just over-reacting. I don't know, but please. I'm getting sick of being glad of the amount of comments, and then most of them are all hostile. I really don't care anymore. I give up.
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Monday, June 19, 2006
I find it funny that people always say thankyou about visiting their sites.
Well, no offence, but I never really have anyone who I have added as a friend, who visits me regularly, and takes into consideration to what I have written, rather than just saying 'I'm sleepy' all the time, no matter what I am writing about. You know who you are!
I just feel that, it is my duty, with having someone added as a friend, to visit their site, regardless of the fact that they visit mine or not. Let me just say one thing though. When people haven't got me added as a friend, and I visit them all the time, that's a WHOLE complete different ball game! At least I'm polite with most people though. I send them a pm to whether I should have them added as a friend or not. I know I'm bad sometimes, and I just delete them as a friend!
Well, those are my thoughts! I give people loads of chances, and the second that they infringe on that, that's the end of my 'friendship' with them. To be honest, I've been stepped on more times than I can count, and to be honest, I'm saving myself, because they're the ones who don't care!
Like one example, I had this friend, I'm not naming names on here, and we used to go to each others' sites ALL THE TIME! Then, she went and deleted me as a friend. I queried, and then got it sorted out. 7 months later, she goes and does it again. I ask her, and she never answers. I deleted her naturally.
WEll, those are all my words of wisdom for the day! *laughs* I shall visit sites!
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 Who feels like getting herself maimed, just to feel something delightful? Amaris does!
I feel quite down at the moment. Probably my fatigue and the heat. I feel really shallow, and not doing anything. I hate this. I should really consult my mum, but I haven't got a backbone!I feel kind of like crying, but not really. I just have to write down my feelings, let them get found by a teacher, and get them to seek help for me!
Ahh! The life of a teenager, and having higher, non-realitica expectations of my fellow classmates, and them being shot down, by their conversations about only liking a band for the singers' 'stage environment'. Sorry. That's just shallow. Anyway. I'm looking forward to poking myself with a pin this evening!
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