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Vitals

Birthday
• 1991-07-11
Gender
• Female
Location
• somewhere where you don't know, actually London in England
Member Since
• 2003-10-10
Occupation
• Sixth Form student, fan girl, writer and struggling artist/ creator
Real Name
• Amaris Hope you like the name because it is really so!

Personal

Achievements
• Not killing the people in my school YET, or the world; being able to push people away; being socially isolated; let my grades go down because I'm lazy and an idiot; read all the books in my library, get my english teacher to think I self-harm (DSH)
Anime Fan Since
• I was 7, Yr 3, 1998 or so. The first anime was the infamous 'Sailor Moon'! XD
Favorite Anime
• Most of them except Ultimate Muscle because it is soo ruubiishh-o! I Love 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'! Shinji is such a passive-aggressive boy, and he hates himself so! I can relate, because I hate myself. I hate everyone else in the world!Human condition!
Goals
• to actually finish a story!;To not die before 40, to get a good job which I enjoy- IMPOSSIBLE!; To find someone I love; to not end up killing myself because I suffer from depression.
Hobbies
• reading, writing (all-sorts) and watching tv, getting annoyed, typing, blaming myself; being TOO perceptive; seeing all the faults of the world; telling people off if they are wrong; trying to decipher the world
Talents
• daydreaming, singing, irritating the hell out of people, scarcasm, coldness, singing out of tune, being horrible, making skwibblies, procrastinating, staring into space, drawing, forgetting things and other stuff




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myOtaku.com: Outlaw Melfina


Friday, February 9, 2007

I was a good girl, but now I'm bad.
If I looked as rough as I felt, I'd look like this...

It's graphics, and still I have not the things that are required for the lesson, so I'm fucked.
Deborah was joking to me how I never get into trouble, and how the Italian technician moved my pencilcase and was checking out my name on my homework diary. She was saying how people usually gravitate to me when she wants it to be her. I was joking about how there must be some aura around me which must say 'This girl has very bad emotional issues. Just don't bother telling her off but be intrigued by me'. Ah well. There must be something wonderful about me which I do not see, but that comes with low self-esteem.
I was watching this show about child geniuses. It was eponomously titled. There was this boy called Dante, and it was like they were talking about me. Scary. I'm pretty smart myself, but I've let myself down more and more over the years. My fauxness towards how I feel is too much of a disguise. Not even my mum thinks I have low self-esttem even though I hint it as much as I can. I am my own worst enemy. :(
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