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• 1991-07-11
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Female
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• somewhere where you don't know, actually London in England
Member Since
• 2003-10-10
Occupation
• Sixth Form student, fan girl, writer and struggling artist/ creator
Real Name
• Amaris Hope you like the name because it is really so!
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Achievements
• Not killing the people in my school YET, or the world; being able to push people away; being socially isolated; let my grades go down because I'm lazy and an idiot; read all the books in my library, get my english teacher to think I self-harm (DSH)
Anime Fan Since
• I was 7, Yr 3, 1998 or so. The first anime was the infamous 'Sailor Moon'! XD
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• Most of them except Ultimate Muscle because it is soo ruubiishh-o! I Love 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'! Shinji is such a passive-aggressive boy, and he hates himself so! I can relate, because I hate myself. I hate everyone else in the world!Human condition!
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• to actually finish a story!;To not die before 40, to get a good job which I enjoy- IMPOSSIBLE!; To find someone I love; to not end up killing myself because I suffer from depression.
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• reading, writing (all-sorts) and watching tv, getting annoyed, typing, blaming myself; being TOO perceptive; seeing all the faults of the world; telling people off if they are wrong; trying to decipher the world
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myOtaku.com: Outlaw Melfina
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Thursday, February 15, 2007
What I meant to say yesterday, but I didn't have the time...
Well, my English teacher was a right old laugh! I love when she takes a look at my arms. Basically, it goes back to last year. I naturally like to write about macabre things- self-harm, suicide etc. as like a sadistic dream I may never make a reality (unfortunately XD). My English teacher takes this very seriously, and she got concerned about me. My form teacher went and asked me on behalf of her. This got me even more depressed than I was then, and then the next day I had a lesson with her, and she couldn't even look at me in the eyes. I let things cool, and then asked her if we could have a talk, and she said at the end of the day, and she did, using lovely euphemisms in every which way she could, because she was so embarassed. All this time, I have my tubey things on because my eczema is going crazy from stress and sleep deprivation.
So now, in Feb, becuase that was October-ish, when she saw me and my mum, saying "Hello Amaris, hello Amaris' mum" in her Mancunian accent, she subtlely looked at my arms. I had taken off the tubey things that keep my arms moisturised because I lose blood circulation and I'm not at a table for it to irritate it when I move. It's so annoying!
She was saying how I go on the comp too much from when I used to talk to a 'friend' on the internet when I was talking about someone who influenced us. I was a 13 year-old girl who needed someone to save me, and he happened to be there, and I'm still alive. He may have been a pervert or a paedophile, but I am still alive, I have not commited suicide yet. I was an angry helpless 13 year old!
Anyway, she kept asking if anything was wrong etc. like she wanted to know if I do cut myself and stuff, or I get abused, but I have a very good relationship with my mum! She's too scared to ask, so I'm not telling! I think I may leave a note saying the situation or something, as when I talk to teachers, I never get my point across effectively enough.
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