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Birthday
• 1991-07-11
Gender
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Female
Location
• somewhere where you don't know, actually London in England
Member Since
• 2003-10-10
Occupation
• Sixth Form student, fan girl, writer and struggling artist/ creator
Real Name
• Amaris Hope you like the name because it is really so!
Personal
Achievements
• Not killing the people in my school YET, or the world; being able to push people away; being socially isolated; let my grades go down because I'm lazy and an idiot; read all the books in my library, get my english teacher to think I self-harm (DSH)
Anime Fan Since
• I was 7, Yr 3, 1998 or so. The first anime was the infamous 'Sailor Moon'! XD
Favorite Anime
• Most of them except Ultimate Muscle because it is soo ruubiishh-o! I Love 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'! Shinji is such a passive-aggressive boy, and he hates himself so! I can relate, because I hate myself. I hate everyone else in the world!Human condition!
Goals
• to actually finish a story!;To not die before 40, to get a good job which I enjoy- IMPOSSIBLE!; To find someone I love; to not end up killing myself because I suffer from depression.
Hobbies
• reading, writing (all-sorts) and watching tv, getting annoyed, typing, blaming myself; being TOO perceptive; seeing all the faults of the world; telling people off if they are wrong; trying to decipher the world
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myOtaku.com: Outlaw Melfina
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Friday, February 16, 2007
And once again my intellect fails me!
WEll, sorry if the darn post from the previous day made me sound a bit weird. Sorry all. Thanks for your concern. I'm fine now. I knew it was coming, so I'm good. I don't feel raw anymore. :)
I had a cry in me beause I'm so tired, and I cried, so I'm fine.
The person's username was antiworld, and his name was Robert. He was nice to me, and we had each other added as friends since Dec '05. We only started talking to each other in November or whatever, I don't remember. He was pm-ing me when I was on on Friday nights. I passed a comment to my sister about how he must like me or something for us to chat every Friday. Then my sister being a darling, went and asked him if he did, in which he replied 'I think about it all the time and I just don't know'. Then we started talking more, and then in the term holidays, it was quite an occurance, and lead right up 'til Monday lunchtime for me. He's six hours behind me in San Antonio, Texas, which always confused me when we were both on, as it was midday for me... anyway, he liked me, and I knew it, and we discussed it, saying how I don't know him that well, and I have my trust issues, and he does too. It was all madness which we were talking about. Nothing really heavy. He was fond of me, and kept telling me to keep my chin up, which was good, because I was thoroughly depressed. I've now, on my pm thing, saying it has a message from 14th, but it's not there because he has deleted his account. I just wonder what it says. It just feels like I am meant to blame myself, as that's always the way. I knew it would end soon, but not when. I don't really even feel bad. WE were both on the brink of trusting each other, and he leaves. Ah well. I have his myspace, and email... :I
Also, I have saved quite a bit of the pms he sent me ironically, because I wanted to at least have a memory of him. He's no longer on, so he has no rights! XD (This is what happens when you talk to a weird girl like Amaris and then piss off for no reason!)
I had a funny fealy all yesterday. See! I'm off black males! XD It's the third time now! They have no fucking staying power do they?! lol Just like my father! (Oh I@m so cruel)
An homage if you like; the message of the song reminds of all the people lost.
Comments
(4)
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