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• 1991-07-11
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Female
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• 2003-10-10
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• Sixth Form student, fan girl, writer and struggling artist/ creator
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• Amaris Hope you like the name because it is really so!
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Achievements
• Not killing the people in my school YET, or the world; being able to push people away; being socially isolated; let my grades go down because I'm lazy and an idiot; read all the books in my library, get my english teacher to think I self-harm (DSH)
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• I was 7, Yr 3, 1998 or so. The first anime was the infamous 'Sailor Moon'! XD
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• Most of them except Ultimate Muscle because it is soo ruubiishh-o! I Love 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'! Shinji is such a passive-aggressive boy, and he hates himself so! I can relate, because I hate myself. I hate everyone else in the world!Human condition!
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• to actually finish a story!;To not die before 40, to get a good job which I enjoy- IMPOSSIBLE!; To find someone I love; to not end up killing myself because I suffer from depression.
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myOtaku.com: Outlaw Melfina
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Thursday, March 8, 2007
Reflection on the past.
Well, all this week, I've been looking back to when I was in year 9: 13-14, and man was I mad! I can easily say I was totally depressed! I thought I was okay though, and I think that was part of the problem. At least I'm here now. I used to talk to this person anyway, so I totally think that saved my bacon. His name was Mergani and I used to talk to him to a big fat extent! I would talk to him everyday except Wednesdays when the library was closed.
That year of school was REALLY hard because there was more pressure than there is now, and I couldn't handle it, and my dad was around being drunk and telling me I was a piece of shit and all for that whole year and I was incredibly tired. The irony of it all was that I still got my predicted results, even though I hadn't revised or anything. I think Mergani really helped, even though I was talking to a 21 year-old when I was 13, but hey, he never said enything inappropriate, and I felt listened to, when I was being bullied, and threatened and all that shit. Society dictates that I shouldn't really be talking to people that age, but hey! It's better than me being in the ground, which I would be, because I didn't have anyone to talk to!My favourite threat was in textiles (clothes making), where a girl in my class basically asked if she thought she could cut off my lips with a craft knife. I'm not used to threats, and still am not, so I was laughing my arse off. Nothing ever came to anything. Everyone was stressed. I was way past all the wanting to self-harm and shit. I was so depressed I didn't even want to darn well die! XD
Well, I'm not typing anymore, as people are reading what I'm typing. :( People are so bloody nosey! The girl who read it asked if it was real, and I hope the bitch spreads the truth! :O
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