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Vitals

Birthday
• 1991-07-11
Gender
• Female
Location
• somewhere where you don't know, actually London in England
Member Since
• 2003-10-10
Occupation
• Sixth Form student, fan girl, writer and struggling artist/ creator
Real Name
• Amaris Hope you like the name because it is really so!

Personal

Achievements
• Not killing the people in my school YET, or the world; being able to push people away; being socially isolated; let my grades go down because I'm lazy and an idiot; read all the books in my library, get my english teacher to think I self-harm (DSH)
Anime Fan Since
• I was 7, Yr 3, 1998 or so. The first anime was the infamous 'Sailor Moon'! XD
Favorite Anime
• Most of them except Ultimate Muscle because it is soo ruubiishh-o! I Love 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'! Shinji is such a passive-aggressive boy, and he hates himself so! I can relate, because I hate myself. I hate everyone else in the world!Human condition!
Goals
• to actually finish a story!;To not die before 40, to get a good job which I enjoy- IMPOSSIBLE!; To find someone I love; to not end up killing myself because I suffer from depression.
Hobbies
• reading, writing (all-sorts) and watching tv, getting annoyed, typing, blaming myself; being TOO perceptive; seeing all the faults of the world; telling people off if they are wrong; trying to decipher the world
Talents
• daydreaming, singing, irritating the hell out of people, scarcasm, coldness, singing out of tune, being horrible, making skwibblies, procrastinating, staring into space, drawing, forgetting things and other stuff




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myOtaku.com: Outlaw Melfina


Monday, April 7, 2008

The good old hurting scheme
I'm getting pretty sick of people oozing. I know that we are human, and by neing in any kind of realtionahip means that that person is going to ooze on you, but sometimes you just don't want it. It makes me want to cry when I see people slowly falling apart, and losing control, so they use means of food, but it just hurts. Hurts to see these people slowly throwing themselves at the small piece of affection and kindness they feel, for that kind of relationship formed and based upon that person's low self- esteem is NOT going to work! *shakes head and keeps back the tears* There's this poem by Carol Ann Duffy, and the chracter, 'Mrs Quasimodo' is so pathetically weak, and I think you have to build that resolve and strength by yourself; it won't be handed to you willy-nilly. I would know. I've gone through all those motions, and I still feel weak at this moment, but I owe it to myself that I do not fall into that hopelessly unfounded commitment. I've prevented it, and I shall, for it will only end up in both parties' tears.
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