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• 1991-07-11
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Female
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• 2003-10-10
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• Sixth Form student, fan girl, writer and struggling artist/ creator
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• Amaris Hope you like the name because it is really so!
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Achievements
• Not killing the people in my school YET, or the world; being able to push people away; being socially isolated; let my grades go down because I'm lazy and an idiot; read all the books in my library, get my english teacher to think I self-harm (DSH)
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• I was 7, Yr 3, 1998 or so. The first anime was the infamous 'Sailor Moon'! XD
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• Most of them except Ultimate Muscle because it is soo ruubiishh-o! I Love 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'! Shinji is such a passive-aggressive boy, and he hates himself so! I can relate, because I hate myself. I hate everyone else in the world!Human condition!
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• to actually finish a story!;To not die before 40, to get a good job which I enjoy- IMPOSSIBLE!; To find someone I love; to not end up killing myself because I suffer from depression.
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• reading, writing (all-sorts) and watching tv, getting annoyed, typing, blaming myself; being TOO perceptive; seeing all the faults of the world; telling people off if they are wrong; trying to decipher the world
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myOtaku.com: Outlaw Melfina
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Tuesday, April 18, 2006
I'm so tired! And what's tomorrow? SCHOOL!
Yeah. I got up early, 6:58, and I got ready for going to an exhibition. I ate: 2 pieces of bacon, two slices of bread, strawberry mousse, and tea. Oh. Two crumpets.
At 10 am, I got ready to go, and went to Tate Modern. I went there with my mum, as the last time I went there was over a year ago. I wore my above-the-knee blue ra-ra (sp) skirt, and long-sleeved white semi-see-through top.
We had to go through various building areas, so there were all these builders giving me 'the eye'. So very boring, and it makes me scared. All these older men lusting you. Ya.
I went all the way back by myself. I'm not used to going places by myself, and I don't know the area like the back of my excema-ridden hand.
Went to the library. Got Number 2 & 3 of 'Happy Mania'. Still got the fourth. finished number 2 without too many full sex scenes. Good. Had MacDonalds because the Tate was expensive. Had to go all the way back to South-West London from where the Thames was. Yup. Got my hair nice, but STILL need to go and plait it some more.
My sister is doing my fucking head in, and I'm tired and depressed. I think I may go to bed early, and have 'a happy day' at school. God I'm not looking forward to it. I'm becoming withdrawn again.
AH THE BEAUTY OF DEPRESSION!
Oh yes. Forgot to explain what the exhibiton was on. It was on Martin Kippenberger, and it was interesting. I stayed in there for ages. I'm stingy you see, and it was £5.50 for my mum to pay for me to see this. The only problem was, that there were only 2 rooms in which you could sit down, and they were the boring rooms. In the first room, there was this resin man, looking towards the wall, and that freaked the shit out of me, and I was having a panic attack. I was alone by the way. The funny thing was, that by the time I went throught the eight rooms again, there was no one to ask me what I was doing, because they all came fresh onto their shifts, never having seen me before. It was interesting, and his take of Kafka's 'Amerika' was halarious!
Well, that's all I have to say with my depression!
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