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myOtaku.com
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Birthday
• 1991-07-11
Gender
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Female
Location
• somewhere where you don't know, actually London in England
Member Since
• 2003-10-10
Occupation
• Sixth Form student, fan girl, writer and struggling artist/ creator
Real Name
• Amaris Hope you like the name because it is really so!
Personal
Achievements
• Not killing the people in my school YET, or the world; being able to push people away; being socially isolated; let my grades go down because I'm lazy and an idiot; read all the books in my library, get my english teacher to think I self-harm (DSH)
Anime Fan Since
• I was 7, Yr 3, 1998 or so. The first anime was the infamous 'Sailor Moon'! XD
Favorite Anime
• Most of them except Ultimate Muscle because it is soo ruubiishh-o! I Love 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'! Shinji is such a passive-aggressive boy, and he hates himself so! I can relate, because I hate myself. I hate everyone else in the world!Human condition!
Goals
• to actually finish a story!;To not die before 40, to get a good job which I enjoy- IMPOSSIBLE!; To find someone I love; to not end up killing myself because I suffer from depression.
Hobbies
• reading, writing (all-sorts) and watching tv, getting annoyed, typing, blaming myself; being TOO perceptive; seeing all the faults of the world; telling people off if they are wrong; trying to decipher the world
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myOtaku.com: Outlaw Melfina
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Saturday, November 4, 2006
Looking through previous posts, and thinking 'was that my mindset? No wonder I find it so hard to not cut myself!'
That;s why I always try to type what I think because despite the fact that I may not get many comments, I'm lucky if I get two, I know it's up in cyberspace!
So many people used to comment, and now most of them aren't active. Just like life.
From Tues 20th June:
All I say on this is always taken in the wrong way.
I'm getting pretty sick and tired of saying things, and them being thrown in my face, and then calling me an idiot and such. It's tiring. I am always getting annoyed of being on here, and it seems pointless. Especially the fact that I'm not seeing any of you face to face.
Maybe I'm just over-reacting. I don't know, but please. I'm getting sick of being glad of the amount of comments, and then most of them are all hostile. I really don't care anymore. I give up.
From Monday 19th June
Who feels like getting herself maimed, just to feel something delightful? Amaris does!
I feel quite down at the moment. Probably my fatigue and the heat. I feel really shallow, and not doing anything. I hate this. I should really consult my mum, but I haven't got a backbone!I feel kind of like crying, but not really. I just have to write down my feelings, let them get found by a teacher, and get them to seek help for me!
Ahh! The life of a teenager, and having higher, non-realitica expectations of my fellow classmates, and them being shot down, by their conversations about only liking a band for the singers' 'stage environment'. Sorry. That's just shallow. Anyway. I'm looking forward to poking myself with a pin this evening!
Aren't I mad? (I didn't poke myself with a pin. That was wishful thinking!)
Comments
(3)
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