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Vitals

Birthday
• 1991-07-11
Gender
• Female
Location
• somewhere where you don't know, actually London in England
Member Since
• 2003-10-10
Occupation
• Sixth Form student, fan girl, writer and struggling artist/ creator
Real Name
• Amaris Hope you like the name because it is really so!

Personal

Achievements
• Not killing the people in my school YET, or the world; being able to push people away; being socially isolated; let my grades go down because I'm lazy and an idiot; read all the books in my library, get my english teacher to think I self-harm (DSH)
Anime Fan Since
• I was 7, Yr 3, 1998 or so. The first anime was the infamous 'Sailor Moon'! XD
Favorite Anime
• Most of them except Ultimate Muscle because it is soo ruubiishh-o! I Love 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'! Shinji is such a passive-aggressive boy, and he hates himself so! I can relate, because I hate myself. I hate everyone else in the world!Human condition!
Goals
• to actually finish a story!;To not die before 40, to get a good job which I enjoy- IMPOSSIBLE!; To find someone I love; to not end up killing myself because I suffer from depression.
Hobbies
• reading, writing (all-sorts) and watching tv, getting annoyed, typing, blaming myself; being TOO perceptive; seeing all the faults of the world; telling people off if they are wrong; trying to decipher the world
Talents
• daydreaming, singing, irritating the hell out of people, scarcasm, coldness, singing out of tune, being horrible, making skwibblies, procrastinating, staring into space, drawing, forgetting things and other stuff




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myOtaku.com: Outlaw Melfina


Thursday, November 9, 2006

   My poem. JUST COMMENT IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO POINT OUT, OR IF I COULD IMPROVE.
This poem is pretty random, and does not have a title. Enjoy! (I'm talking to myself by the way. In the poem.)
Made on 5th November
And I sit here on the toilet,
my heart nearly gone,
feeling so numb
and at the same time
PAIN
The tears come out, stricken,
happy to leave the burdened body

And my words but come out so bitterly,
when Amaris doesn't even mean ill!
She can be whole-heartedly honest
AND STILL
her words are but speared, cemented daggers!
Oh sorrow does she but feel.
The days of despair do not end
And of course when 'I am better',
I shall look at these words and go
"Cor! I was really on the edge, eh?"
'Tis true, 'tis true.
The scissors but seem alluring,
the glint beckoning me,
to apply the blade to my skin.
And thou dost ask:
Will it ever end?
For thou dost have an important year,
of pain and anguish and angst and work
so thou would not be disturbed
by this over-the-top wave of despair
and to hold a hot knife by candlelight
and the painkillers sit beside me as
I say “I love thee, indeed I do” as thou
dost heat the arm
and cause the red liquid to be spilt
upon the little jar I keep
for the memento of the journey
in mind as well as physically
to harm like an emo

Obviously
I am queen of all
things ugly and grotesque
and as I do a pirouette
whilst the blood
streams down my arm
and stains my dress.
I smile with glee.
The deed is done.
Until tomorrow
Where my father comes
And deeper and harder
I cut and bleed
Right until it hits the bone

For Amaris to die in ecstasy, yes
With thy hot blade in hand
I do not protest
For I am happy as you can all guess
And God, with thiS, did He me bless.

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