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Birthday
• 1991-07-11
Gender
• Female
Location
• somewhere where you don't know, actually London in England
Member Since
• 2003-10-10
Occupation
• Sixth Form student, fan girl, writer and struggling artist/ creator
Real Name
• Amaris Hope you like the name because it is really so!

Personal

Achievements
• Not killing the people in my school YET, or the world; being able to push people away; being socially isolated; let my grades go down because I'm lazy and an idiot; read all the books in my library, get my english teacher to think I self-harm (DSH)
Anime Fan Since
• I was 7, Yr 3, 1998 or so. The first anime was the infamous 'Sailor Moon'! XD
Favorite Anime
• Most of them except Ultimate Muscle because it is soo ruubiishh-o! I Love 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'! Shinji is such a passive-aggressive boy, and he hates himself so! I can relate, because I hate myself. I hate everyone else in the world!Human condition!
Goals
• to actually finish a story!;To not die before 40, to get a good job which I enjoy- IMPOSSIBLE!; To find someone I love; to not end up killing myself because I suffer from depression.
Hobbies
• reading, writing (all-sorts) and watching tv, getting annoyed, typing, blaming myself; being TOO perceptive; seeing all the faults of the world; telling people off if they are wrong; trying to decipher the world
Talents
• daydreaming, singing, irritating the hell out of people, scarcasm, coldness, singing out of tune, being horrible, making skwibblies, procrastinating, staring into space, drawing, forgetting things and other stuff




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myOtaku.com: Outlaw Melfina


Tuesday, January 2, 2007

My poem, which I have promised to post! XD hope yiz like it because im a G!
I have no title for this. I’ll think of one now.
‘The girl whose heart bleeds because she can’t touch people’ there.
She pours out her heart in such an effortless manner-
moves as she animates her pain flawlessly,
Like the swan’s last song,
she moves her body to the painful words
which seethed through her body
ripping her hope to shreds.
And now this is a part of her.
Which she expels temporarily whilst divulging in it
She enjoys it even.
A simple smile upon her face,
juxtaposed to the graveness of the situation
where she was degraded and helpless.
No tears fall as her lips move, no pain in her speech;
Not a cruel or spiteful word in it.
What she talks about might as well be a beautiful rose
because she talks with such precision, as she remembers it so thoroughly
in order for her to retell it to someone else
like me- who is imagining
the experience of the pain she accepted there and then.
And I sit, humbled, looking at her,
I see no reason why she hates herself
because unlike many others, she accepts it,
lets it go to the point that recalling it is painless.
Yet I always see that twinkle of self-hatred as I inspect her eyes.
She is so secure, yet seals herself off from the world.
Not a body she touches.
Words are her only means of intimacy,
and that is why she HAS to speak so well.

To be free of the pain she does not expel by touching somebody.
Anybody.
Comments (4)

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