My japanese name is ŽO—Ö Minawa (three circles) —D‰Ô Yuka (tender flower).
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Thursday, August 12, 2010

   So tired...
I keep blinking or resting my eyes and hoping that when I open them again I will have that superhuman day strength necessary to overcome the day-to-day...

its funny "live right now, just be yourself, it doesn't matter if its good enough for someone else...everything everything will be just fine, everything everything will be alright alright" song is playing right now hehehe some sort of supernatural sign? hmmmmmmmmmmm hehehe

ugh, I feel like a need to snap out of it, like I need to wake up and fight and get through it, but my other side simply wants to rest and let go...

its really tempting to find that huge rock to hide under from now to eternity...
but then I start thinking if I wish that then aren't I being ungrateful for the opportunity of life.
This world might not be what I envision or what I hope and wish for every night that I fall asleep but as far as I know it is the only world there is and this is my only life, so what good does it to simply sit by and watch life pass on by, spinning to the beat of its own drum?

all I know is that I'm tired, so very tired...
but would it be wise to go to sleep? or would that be surrendering too easily?

ugh, someone slap me back to myself!!

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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

   It happened.
(so since no one reads it...or rather no one responds to what I write so I'm guessing no one reads it...that means I can use this to express whatever I am thinking ^^)

so by "it happened" I mean today I got that feeling again, the feeling of wanting to pick up my life, to do smthng with it so that I can pursue my own adventure
just wish I could figure out what that really means, what is my path and how should I go about achieving it...
sometimes I wish life was all about the "survival" in the sense of how you should walk to wherever you wanted to go, learn how to fight or survive, be more concerned about catching fish or building a basket rather than figuring out how to live with little money or having to blindly pick a profession and hope to god you don't reach a midlife crisis or die due to stress because of the choice you made....

I want to live in the magic and not face the gruesome reality behind it, but then again that is like trying to grab the moon with your feet stuck on the ground

I want to plunge into the dream, just let go and dive...
maybe one day...
one day

(ps- note to self, watched avatar in 3D today - maybe thats why I want to spread my own wings and live a fantasy)
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Monday, January 4, 2010

Blast from the past or a simple mishap?
wow, this surely feels odd...
hehe, there i did it again that three dot thing, and this site - wow, brings back memories...

it feels as if I have reopened pandora's box expecting it to cleanse me and for the small voice of hope to say once again "you're free, go on and live," but really its just silly old me looking back at things that I wrote years ago...it was just a different me who was enjoying life like those moments, those tiny fragments of a dream could hold forever. actually i'm really happy to read that the way i wrote, or rather, the things I wrote about were so innocent and so happy, its good to know u weren't a bad person u know?

hehe there I go again..."you know?" as if someone is reading this and nodding there head like, ah yes. hehehe i know that the sole reason that I made myself stumble upon this page was to reminisce about the past because I was feeling a little bit down, a little bit out of it...
and the only reason I'm typing a post now is because I am hoping to express myself to free my mind of a question that has tormented me for a while now:

see if everyone is in love, or appears to be in love, does the fact that I am not either in love or appearing to be make me abnormal?
you see I feel that in todays world the whole crap about it being "modern" so it doesn't really matter if u r dating or married by the age that u r x is absolute bs. I mean, why is it that when a girl says "i've never had a boyfriend" ppl see to, oh how shall I put it, freak out?
truth is that in todays day and age, kids as I shall call them, are advancing quite hastily - for god sake its "normal" to have had sex when u r only like 14 or smthng.....geez, now I sound like an old geezer but when I was 14 I was chilling with friends at a movie or shopping or playing some video game....
in a way I'm proud of who I have become but I can't help to feel that its not okay

I dont know, I kind of lost my train of thought, which is to be expected considering the late hours - my point is I guess that I feel slightly depressed... hehehe

eh whatever, not like anyone will read, and if someone does and gets this far than wow, my friend u r a true trooper, gulping down this rant ^^
my utter respect goes out to u dear sir, or madam!

I guess in good tradition of what I was I should leave a picture here....but I don't really remember how to do it (hey! its been a while)

so with that I bid you adieu~
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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

   sup?!?
so....yeah, I would just like to point out that I like the song "we'll be burning" and it doesn't mean that I am for or against the legalization of marijuana.....just felt like clearing that up!!

let's see now....oh yeah! I got a very nice ipod from my dad!! ~^_^~ Its funny when u think that your parents don't listen, but in fact they do....in any case, I'm kind of sick....I'll get over it, however my mom acts as if I had a horrible disease instead of the common cold. Oh well, what u gonna do, its because she worries about me...I understand.....

don't have much to say, so here is a pic:


yay for sickness and skipping school! hehehehe

c ya! ~^_^~
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Sunday, April 9, 2006

   ...Guess who's back??...back again!...
*no heartbeat* clear!...charge to 300!! *electric shock passes through the dead body* AGAIN! *beep, beep, beep*

hehehehehhehe! for those that didn't get it: I'm bringing this site back to life!! or at least I will try! ~^__^~

I know I haven't been here in forever...and those who once knew me must be like this:


but I'm alive, well and hopefully back for good! I had just gotten busy with a bunch of other stuff, but to make this return memorable I finally changed my site's layout! *applaud*

Life has basically been the same...school's good, friend's r good, and family is great....one really cool thing thats new is that now I am a White Belt in the Kung Fu style Taisan!! yay!! ~^_^~ I luv kung fu, its so much fun!!

well thats about it for now, I'm gonna check out who is on my "friends list".....so that I may visit and stuff....I'll try to upload more fan arts and so on.
guess thats it!

ja ne! ~^_^~
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