Tuesday, June 29, 2004

A retrospective
By OzymandiusJones

Oh, boy. So I have to write a retrospective, do I? Well…

When I was born, my parents rejoiced, because they knew that I was going to be the most wonderful, most beautiful girl in the entire…hey, where’d everybody go? Hello? Hello?! Please come back! What was that? A retrospective on being home-schooled, you say? Aww, man…and I was gonna have fun, too...Spoilsport.

Alright, then. Mom started home-schooling us (Thrush, Silver and me) the year after I finished second grade. Or she started Thrush and me, anyway. Silver was still too little to go to school. I don’t remember why she decided to teach us herself, except that it had something to do with the amount of time I was getting to see Dad. Apparently, it wasn’t enough time, and I was turning into a screaming little monster. I myself doubt that it was a monster, but like I said, I don’t really remember. There was also something about it taking me three hours to do my math homework, and something else about reading during math class, but we won’t get into that. I was young and stupid then.

So my dear Mommy took it upon herself to halt her little girl’s descent into screaming monster-land. I didn’t really mind being home-schooled. There were a lot of families in the area who also home-schooled, and it meant I could read whenever I wanted to! Forget math class! Forget science! I was gonna read all the time, baby! Or so I thought. You know that saying about irresistible forces hitting immovable objects? Well…let’s just say Mom and I had a contest of wills on the subject of when reading was appropriate. I lost. Never get into a battle of wills with my mother. That was home-school lesson number one.

Unfortunately, just because she could win the “you-will-not-read-during-math-class” argument did not mean Mom knew everything about home-schooling stubborn eight year olds. There were a few days where we didn’t get much done. They were mostly my fault. Yes, I am woman enough to admit it…now…ten years later…let’s move on, shall we?

After we moved from Kentucky to New York, my wonderful little support group of other home-school girls disappeared. Poof! Gone. Sure, we still wrote and everything…but I didn’t get to see them. I didn’t react well. For the next three years, it was almost torture (for my mom) to get me to work. I wasn’t very happy. I saw my friends at church going to things like drama clubs, bands, and chorus practice…all sorts of exciting things! And me? I got art lessons. Whoopee. Now, did I bother to tell my mom why I was grumpy, surly and uncooperative? NO! I just stayed grumpy, surly and uncooperative. Like I said, I was stupid.

Once I got the fact that public school was not all fun and games into my silly, jealous little mind, I was twelve. I think I got a little more cooperative…at least, I think I did. Y’know, memory’s a strange thing. It can be replaced by imagination more often than not. Maybe I only think I was more cooperative. Man, now my head hurts.


Back on subject. The next three years, Mom was more prepared. She’d be all ready and excited to start the new school year, and then some minor (or not so minor) emergency would happen. She was a pastor’s wife at the same time she was a teacher, so often the church emergency would take precedent over the teaching. And I will say most of the time I did fairly good at keeping on track at the beginning of the emergencies, but things would quickly go downhill. Ozys are lazy creatures, and this one was no different.

The 2002-2003 school year was different at the beginning. All three of us cooperated; we got our school done when we were supposed to (most of the time) with minimal complaining (most of the time). Then in January, we got the news that we were going to have to move. Talk about throwing monkey wrenches into the school machine. The rest of that month, and the first half of the next month were dedicated to packing, house searching and other moving related activities. Not very conducive to the doing of schoolwork, I must say. Once we had moved and gotten all settled in, however, we actually got back on track fairly quickly. I took my SATs for the first time, and they confirmed what pretty much everyone had suspected. I, Ozy, was a genius. I was bound for Greatness with a capital G. I…hey! No booing from the Peanut Gallery! This is my retrospective! Don’t make me come up there! Oh, ok…I got 1220. Not genius material, but not shabby, either.

This past year has been better than all the other years. I completed ninety-nine percent of all the work I was supposed to do and I (gasp, please) actually have a social life I work at the library every Tuesday and Thursday from three thirty to five thirty, and my supervisor even likes anime, which is rare for someone over thirty. So I have someone to talk to when I’m not working. Mom’s permission to do that almost makes up for the First Aid class she made me take, the one where I got paired with the guy I didn’t even know…nah, nothing could make up for that…

Also, every Sunday and Wednesday, I donate my time to the Funny Farm…er, my youth group. All the guys in my youth group are insane, and hold conversations that consist mainly of movie quotes. It’s enough to make you cry sometimes. With laughter, of course.

So all in all, this ‘home-schooling” thing has been pretty much up and down like a roller coaster. The fact that most of the downs were my fault makes me feel bad sometimes…but we got over the down times, and Mom’s gotten a lot better in the “making-surly-teenagers-finish-their-work” department. And that, my friends, is my retrospective. Later!


Comments (5)