Saturday, July 1, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Um... all my (real) friends (as in the ones that actually comment) seem to have died except for Le-chan (yes, you are Le-chan now) and samuraikitty. So I had to do the one thing I hate the most... reply to my guestbook signatures. o_o So now I have, I think, an additional 4 friends... it remains to be seen if my efforts have paid off. Haha, me and Lethean (A.K.A. Le-kun... or is it the other way around?) had the best AIM conversation ever last night. Oh, if you guys have AIM, drop me a line, alright? The best inside jokes ever spawn from AIM. It was really funny. Highlight of the conversation: "There is a God. And it's in GIF format." GO GIR GO! GO GO GO! What's my obsession with marquees all of a sudden? Don't know, but they're rad.

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Friday, June 30, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Dude. Two words. Liquid Orajel. Heck. Yes. It's like... deus ex aqua. XD! Yay for Latin. But seriously, my whole mouth is currently numb. It's great. Like frosted flakes! They're grrrrreat! XD Work today... bleh. The bosslady yelled at me today because apparently I wasn't helping out yesterday. Um... hello? I spent two fricking hours picking up and rinsing off beach toys. And then the other teen chick working with me today spent the entire fricking day with some of her friends from school and she didn't even get talked to. GOD! Everyone hates me! All the kids, too! The other teen on my shift is always the one they hang over, and just a couple even spare me a second thought. Am I doomed to isolation? Oh, and then I spilt an entire pitcher of red Kool-Aid all over me. Fan-fricking-tastic. To sum up, a horrible day. >< I might go to Sierra's tonight. We're gonna watch Pirates of the Carribean 4 times in a row and then like an hour before curfew head to the bowling alley to- you guessed it- play DDR. Shiny fun. Maybe this time her dad won't make us do intense yardwork. I leave you with a quote from Gravitation that's been cracking me up: "Shuichi: So anyway, I, Shindou, will be taking tomorrow of in order to clame my date with Eiri. Hiro: Hasn't Yuki-san only been out of the hospital for one day? Shuichi: Yeah! But he's not allowed to resume work, he can't drink and he can't smoke, and he's forbidden to go out at night! In other words, Yuki's got nothing better to do. Hiro: How romantic... but not what I meant. I was actually expressing concern about his health. Shuichi: Don't be a fool! The time is now! The doctor's orders are for him to refrain from indulging in the decadent luxuries that comprise his libertine lifestyle! Ergo, Eiri Yuki is bored to death, a condition that only recurs every four hundred years! I need to take advantage of this opportunity before Yuki's personality reverts to its normal sour state. This window won't be open again in my lifetime!" Who knew that Shindou-kun knew such big words...?

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Thursday, June 29, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

I figured a lot of stuff out last night, thinking about how I've been feeling. I want to explain it... but I'm not ready just yet. Give me a little time. I'll get there. Wow... I can't stop staring at my layout. o_o... I've been on a .hack frenzy ever since I beat Infection. I still need to get Another Birth... and then there's G.U. and Roots... this whole new .hack generation is going to break my wallet. Oh, and they've been talking about an online .hack game! How rad would that be? *sigh* my layout is so pretty. XD I couldn't decide between this background and one with both Balmung and Reki on it. I love Reki! If I had to choose between Balmung and Reki, I'm not sure which I'd pick. I mean, Balmung's got wings, but Reki's a wavemaster, and wavemasters are hot. But what I like best of all is Balmung and Reki... together. *naughty smirk* ...We interrupt this yaoi-crazed fantasy for a special bulletin! I HATE MY JOB! Today they had me doing all the grunt work. I swept the entire gym of the elementary school and cleaned practically half of Lake Tahoe. They have these bumper stickers in my neck of the woods that say "Keep Tahoe Clean"... well, it IS, thanks to me. >< And then... ah, god. There's this girl there with one arm, and today she fell down and I went over to her and said, "Hey, need a hand? Oh shit- I mean, need some help?" I felt so bad... *sigh* And now, back to your regularly scheduled fangirlish drooling. Balmung... *drool* XD!

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Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Balmung'd.

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

I told you it was all going to blow up soon enough, and sure enough, it did. My brother came home last night after I got off the computer to get all his stuff. Turns out he pierced his lip. Ka-BOOM. No chance of him living with us again. Even after he left my stepdad would not shut up about it, so I had to stay up all night listening to him badmouth my brother and my dad as if I couldn't hear him. Fantastic. My family's made up of drunks, punks, cops, and me. God, I can't believe all this. Just puts the icing on the cake of how I've been feeling lately, no? The last thing I want to be dealing with is this. I've got enough on my mind as it is. I'm just thankful I'm home alone today. If they were home… my god, it would never end. I can't stand my stepdad… he's a second grader in a man's body with a man's vocabulary. The way he talks to my mom… it's totally inexcusable. I know sometimes I can't stand my mom but… she's my mom. There's no way I'm going to let anyone treat her that way. If anything came out of this event, it was a distraction from everything that's totally screwed up in my life. For once, I couldn't blame myself. Well, that's not entirely true… last night, my mom said to my stepdad, "It's all my fault, because I wasn't here when you and Beau blew up." Well, gee, THANKS, mom. Next time I won't win you a fucking trip anywhere. Sorry for my post, or lack thereof, yesterday. I didn't have much I felt like saying… still don't. Better just to forget everything, really. Don't worry about it. P.S. OMGNEWLAYOUT. Look how cuddly and Balmung-y it is... me loves .hack. ^^ You may now refer to me as Ryuichi of the Azure Sky.

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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

...I didn't feel like posting yesterday. So I didn't. I also don't feel like posting today. So I won't. Hasta mañana.

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Sunday, June 25, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Today I feel a little better, but that's just because I've had good stuff happen to distract me from my angst. First, I beat .hack//infection last night (finally)... I've had the game for like a year and a half, I just never got around to finishing it, and everytime I played it I was too preoccupied with getting rare items, Mirielle-style. Then, do you remember a few months back how my MP3 player refused to play my Gravitation songs? Well, I fixed that. Last night I was loading all my Last Exile songs onto it and I accidentally did my Gravi songs too... but this time, instead of MP3s, they converted to WMA files. It turns out my so-called MP3 player won't play MP3s, just WMAs. POSER! XD But now I'm happy. Now I have my Angels & Airwaves AND Nittle Grasper all living together in harmony. XD Word to the wise: Don't ever try to read Fahrenheit 451 while you're half asleep. I read the whole book half asleep and none of it made sense, so I had to read it again. Totally lame book. Waste of paper. Yeah, so I feel happy today... but by tomorrow I'll be in one of my moods yet again. Betcha can't wait, can you? -_-

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Saturday, June 24, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Well, I suppose I've been acting like a royal bitch lately, no? Well, just one more item to add to my "list of things I painfully regret." These days, the list is expanding exponentially... *sigh* I'm just so pissed off right now that I don't even know who the first person I want to scream at is. Maybe the person in question... or maybe myself for taking it as seriously as I am. God, I am beyond ticked. I stayed home while my parents went to the beach so I could fume. I've been totally binging these last few days and I constantly feel sick. The most painful part of it, I think... is when I wonder how things got this way. Nothing ever works in my favor. Never. It can seem like total happiness at the time, but like a drug, in the aftermath it's just empty and painful. It's just not physically possible for things to work out for me, is it? I don't know why I ever try to convince myself otherwise. There really is no point in trying... it never amounts to anything. There's nothing I can do to change and it drives me insane. Well, great, now I think I'm gonna throw up. So... see ya.

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Friday, June 23, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

I see the stars, they’re in your eyes A playful kiss, can you tell I'm excited? A fast escape in the nick of time If you lost your wish, can I help you find it? I'm on my knee, just one to start A fresh new start, don't be undecided If love’s a word that you say Then say it, I will listen... Uh-oh, I'm posting ambiguous Angels & Airwaves lyrics. You can only assume I'm depressed as hell. Today was terrible. To start with, I hardly got any sleep because I stayed up to watch that show Windfall and then I stayed awake in bed for the usual three hours. So I got about... *counts on fingers* no sleep whatsoever. And so we took the damn brats to the bowling alley... the leader wouldn't let me go play DDR, so I was stuck rolling a ball down a lane that kept getting the balls stuck every other time. I was preoccupied... hence, I got a final score of, like, 23. No joke. What's worse... now all the kids... LIKE me. Ew. And they were all... huggy. Ugh. *sprays self with Lysol* I hate them... I hate them all. I didn't think it was physically possible to be louder than Natalie, but those kids have proven me wrong. My head's going to implode.... Yeah, yeah. Right now you're all going, "okay, what's got PaganAngel all depressed this time?" And normally, I'd go into a long rant that totally dodges the real reason I'm upset. But you know what? I don't feel like it. Yeah. It's that bad this time. Well, I'm done... have a nice day.

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Thursday, June 22, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

H'llo... sorry I didn't post yesterday, I, um, forgot. Yes, I forgot, got a problem with it? I was busy on OtakuBoards. That's where all the cool kids are. XD Today was my first day on the job... and it was a nightmare. I. Hate. Kids. A bunch. We went up to Tahoe where the sand was practically on fire and the water was ice cold. And I cussed out a kid after she dumped a bucket of water on me. Then I went to sleep. XD I am the best employee ever, no? Hey guys! Let's play a game! You guys have to guess what it is that's making me depressed/miserable this very second! It'll be like Family Feud... survey says...? Wow. I haven't seen that show in centuries. You know what else I haven't seen in centuries? Pokemon. I was randomly flipping channels the other day and I stumbled upon it... how's THAT for nostalgia? They've sure come a long way from the original 150 of 'em... and who's that new chick with them, and what ever happened to Misty? Eh, I'm totally making a nerd of myself right now, so I'll stop. Mmkay, gotta get some sleep pretty soon... tomorrow I'm taking the brats bowling (in other words, I'm gonna ditch them and play DDR all day. I need to find my mom's quarter stash...)

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Tuesday, June 20, 2006

BOREDOM!

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Raise your hand if you're bored! Really? Me too! So my new essay assignment is on the topic of this quote: "Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. Absolve you to yourself, and you shall have the suffrage of the world." o_o I don't even know where to start... and it has to be 5 typed pages. LAME! I saw my brother today. We both had a dentist appointment. I really miss him. Things at home are relatively calm, but I can tell it's just the eye of the storm. My mom and stepdad are being so polite to one another... I can tell they're about to explode at one another. *sigh* and all the while I'm playing monkey-in-the-middle. I just wish they'd stop pretending that everything's okay, because it's not. It's all going to fall down around us sooner or later, I can feel it. Meanwhile, I'm having weird thoughts... you know how insecure I can get. As happy as I've been lately, I can't fight the feeling that it'll all end... I'm terrified I'll wake up from this dream, that reality will jump out at me once again. Either I'm paranoid or I'm just too used to being hurt. Probably both. Well, now that I've got that rambling off my chest, I have nothing left to say. So... hasta la pasta.

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