Saturday, April 22, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Today I'm skipping the Final Fantasy and going straight to what's important: Gravitation! I realized something today. I love all the guys in Gravi, but every last one of the girls I think should die. Seriously, Maiko, Ayaka, Mika, Reiji, Judy Winchester... I hate them all. There should be no females in Gravitation. Women are bitches. I really hate Reiji... she's so annoying, but not as much as I hate Ayaka. First she tries to break up Shu and Yuki. Fine, fine. But THEN the little minx goes and seduces Hiro! HIRO IS SUGURU'S, DAMN YOU! *hath been reading waaaaaaaaaay too much fanfiction... again* DIE, AYAKA! DIEEEEEEEEEEEEE! All my Amazon stuff finally came. ^^ So now I'm on a Cardcaptor Sakura overdose... so... much... cute... o_o and the theme song's so catchy! CURSE YOU, CLAMP! First Chobits, then Legal Drug, then X, now this! You're brainwashing me with excellent anime! -_-

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Friday, April 21, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Told you I forgot to say something yesterday! My Legal Drug vol. 3 finally came from Amazon... holy crud. Or to quote Kazahaya, "GYAAAAAAAAH!" xD This was definitely my favorite volume yet because I'm a corrupted yaoi fangirl. If you haven't read Legal Drug yet, READ IT NOW. Or I will beat you senseless with a rainbow trout. I spent my morning catching butterflies, dodging lightning and performing the Sublimely Magnificent Jecht Shot Mark 3. Yes, more Final Fantasy. XD I really have the strongest urge to play FFX-2, but unfortunately my disc is so scratched up I can't even play it... note to self: get a new FFX-2. I still remember when I got that game. I had it on preorder and I got it the day it came out... *sigh* That game was a precursor to so much of my life, actually. It's not even worth going in-depth. By the way, I hate Yuna. I hate her a lot. In X she's painfully timid and quiet and noble, but by X-2 she's a ditzy slutty popstar singing painfully catchy J-Pop themesongs. What can I do for you? What can I do for you? What can I do for you? I can hear you... NO! NO! STOOOOP! MAKE IT STOP! XD I hope the rest of my Amazon stuff comes today... I feel all manga-deprived. Oh well. I could always reread Legal Drug. XD

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Thursday, April 20, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

I hate guestbooks. XD I know that sounds so mean and all but I hate when people sign my guestbook... then I have to go to their page and think up something nice to say in theirs and odds are we'll never visit each other's pages again, so what's the point? Three more GB signs today, meaning 3 more pages to visit and return the favor for... *sigh* it's difficult being popular. Pity me. XD Kidding, kidding! I saw Memoirs of a Geisha today. It was really good except for my mom's regular outbursts of "I don't get it." -_- Almost as bad as the time I sat next to a blind girl in the theater watching Harry Potter. The movie was good though... I think I'd like the book better because I'm just that way. There goes another six bucks... *sigh* I've been totally Final Fantasy X-crazy lately... A lot of you don't know it but FFX was my first theme on MyO. I just love that game! And Tohma, I commend you for taking time to level up that Rikku. People really don't appreciate her enough... she's a really great character if you build her up right. The character I don't get is Kimhari. Seriously, I kept levelling him up to a minimum because there's only one battle where you have to use him at Mt. Gagazet and after that battle I never used him at all. And I hardly ever use Lulu or Wakka anymore because Yuna knows all the Black Magic spells and Rikku's agility and accuracy is higher than Wakka's, so there's no real need for them. I've decided I'm gonna go through the game only using Rikku... that'll be fun. Yeah... I think that's all... probably not, but oh well, I'm always forgetting something. Okay, toodles!

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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Told ya that Photoshop would dominate my life... I spent about 12 hours on it yesterday. I made this wallpaper and this avatar (even though the new avatar's not coming up for some reason, it's just keeping my old one o_O) plus a lot more. I like this wallpaper. It has my all-time favorite quote from the series on it. The only problem is if your resolution is 800x600 like mine it looks like crap... *sigh* nothing's easy in this world. I spent the morning playing Final Fantasy X. My Yuna's magic is finally over 100... I feel so proud. What I'm also proud of is that my Rikku's strength is higher than Auron's. Ha. I am winner. All your base are belong to us. Dang, it's been too long since I've heard that... I can't stop listening to Predilection... it's such a hot song. Ryu-chan's actual voice actor sings it... it's so heavenly. Plus, it's a cool song. Five minutes and fourty seconds of pure nirvana. Nirvana... hey, that's the name of Yuna's legendary weapon! *gets all obsessive-like* OKAY GUYS I'M GONNA GO VANQUISH FIENDS IN THE IMAGINARY WORLD OF ZANARKAND NOW! BYE!

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Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Yeah. I went to the counselor today... yeah... whatever. Don't care. Yeah... 8 comments yesterday. It seems you guys like me a whole lot better when I'm not angsting off, and who can blame you? Shadowme, please don't call me by my real name... I hate it. It should die. Especially not Bonnie-sempai. That's weird. Tohma, tornados are bad. Come to Nevada where it's all mountainy and good. Lemony, you're under arrest for photoshop abuse. Yeah... I think I covered it all... okay bye.

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Monday, April 17, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

I'm on a sugar overdose right now. I got two easter baskets, one from my mom and one from Natalie's parents cause I stayed over at her house over the weekend. Ugh, so much candy... as if a vacation wasn't enough to make me swear off eating... food sucks. T_T Okay, anyway, please don't hate me for this next part... I'm not going to be posting as much or as in-depth lately. I have reasns for doing this... I don't know. Lately, I can't explain it, but I'm feeling much, well, happier, frankly. o_O I don't know what's going on, but suddenly the cloud has a silver lining. So expect a major reduction on the angstfests... but guys, thank you so much for having been there. Your advice helped me more than you could guess. I always complained about being lonely but the fact is I was never alone. Thanks, you guys. You helped me sort out a lot. On a much happier note, I got Photoshop yesterday! Woo-hoo! Finally! XD There goes another hundred hours of my life.... Oh, by the way, am I the only one who gets 2 weeks for spring break? o_O

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Saturday, April 15, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

I can't believe this... An hour. I've been home for an HOUR and I already have yet another reason to hate my mom. I don't even know where to start... it's funny really. She's been so concerned about me lately, saying things like "I don't want you to be alone." So why the HELL is she doing this!? I get onto the computer and type one random site or another in my browser, hit enter... ta-da! PARENT BLOCK! And they're like everywhere. I'm suprised I could even get on MyO considering how heavy the block is. I don't understand why she's doing this.... Is she trying to take away what precious few comforts I have anymore? I just can't live with her anymore... this vacation has made me unbelievably aware of that. It all feels like a bad dream, one I can never seem to wake up from... I just want out... I can't deal with her anymore. I'm not a kid anymore. I haven't been a kid for a while now. I don't see why I have to be held back like this... I'm an adult in ever aspect but my body, my physical age. Once again, my age is the only thing between me and happiness, just like it was back then... At the airport last night, I think someone up there was having a nice laugh at me. On the two gates right next to the one headed for Reno were two planes that departed at the exact same time as ours. One was headed for Arizona, where he lived, the other for - yep - Chicago. It was so symbolic to me... two different lives, two paths that I could have taken, places where I could have been happy if only... yet I still had to come back to this place. I don't understand why happiness is always so close yet always just out of reach... I just don't know how much more of this I can take. I thought I was on the edge before, but now... as far as I can tell I've already fallen over the edge. I have nothing... absolutely nothing. Living solely through a computer screen isn't working anymore... what I need is something real. I really need help... but there's nowhere to go anymore. There's just no point anymore, really... I don't understand why I'm here. I'm a wasted life. A wasted person. Just empty and null. What's the point of living for nothing? I'm just so lost... there's dead ends everywhere and no one to tell me where to go. I just don't know what to do anymore.

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Friday, April 14, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

In a desperate attempt to get out of having to do a full post, I bring you a blast from the past: Hahaha... it NEVER seems to get old, does it? XD Oh, I forgot to tell you that yesterday when we were at the museum they had a thingy that measures your stress level and apparently I have "severely high" stress... me? Stressed? Ha, yeah right. (sarcasm) But at least I have relief in the form of the llama song. Is that how it's told now? Is it all so old? Is it made of lemon juice? Doorknob, ankle, cold, now my song is getting thin, I've run out of luck, time for me to retire now and become a duck. XD I'm in my own little world when I'm listening to that song. Ugh... three hours till we leave for the airport... I do NOT want to go back. Sometimes I really want to live with my dad. He makes an effort to understand me. Unfortunately, though, he doesn't have internet... *sigh* that's probably the only thing holding me back, really. I'm just sick of dealing with my mom... she's a child. And my stepdad's no better. He's always a wallflower, but on a few (drunken) occasions he'll just snap when we're allegedly "disrespecting" our mom and suddenly act like he has authority... he makes no sense. The pattern in our house is so inconsistent. Oh, did I mention my stepdad's a cop? Yeah. Exactly. You try living with a drunk cop and and an immature bitch and tell me just how fun it is. I feel so sorry for my brother... he gets it worse than I do, mainly because I've learned to keep my distance from them. He's on the edge of breaking for my dad's place too. Despite my occasional hatred for him, my brother's really great. When I do something wrong he tells me so but he doesn't make a big deal about it. Plus, since he's 16 he gets to be the designated driver.... meaning I have no fear of death at the hands of a drunk driver. Yay. Whoa, what happened to the part when I didn't feel like doing a full post? o_O Well, there's a full post for ya, happy? Now continue watching the llama song.

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Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

Last night, I had a dream. I was free. I was out of here... I finally got away. To Chicago, no less. Now, I think that oughta tell you something... Today we went snow tubing. It was molten hot and the slope was a slush sandwich. I had a migrane due to a Mountain Dew hangover and the guy spinning our tubes did a lot to relieve that. Wow, I'm just a bundle of joy lately, aren't I? Mmph... I'm mad... I missed American Idol last night. GRRS! I hate being in Colorado. Everything's all screwy. At least I get back on Friday... but I don't want to go back. Hmm, I wonder how much a ticket to Chicago costs.

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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Let's make memories ___________ Backroom Leave your memory Remember me Message me My memories

I hate stuff. Yeah. Life sucks. Etc., etc. It's pointless for me to even post anymore, you all know exactly how I feel. Trapped, depressed, bored, annoyed, rinse and repeat. It's all an endless spiral of get me the fuck out of here. I'm sick of life as it is... I'm sick of being who I am. I want out. I just want to leave this life behind, forget it all... I want to move on from all the pain but that's impossible when reminders are all around me. I need to escape. I need to find something in this world worth needing. There's just a void everywhere I look... I need to be able to dream again. To trust again. To love again. Yes, that's my sad excuse for a post today. I've just said it all already... you know how I'm feeling. It's just a waste to say all over again.

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