Thursday, November 17, 2005

Today's ponderings

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Didn't sleep last night (again)- I was too hungry, I didn't eat dinner (again), food has completely lost its appeal to me (again). Ate three marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms box for breakfast- all four-leaf-clovers. Luck. Ha. As if. Got to school, waited for the buses to come, waited for one of my so-called friends to come... but what am I really waiting for? I'm waiting to be saved. To be rescued. I've been waiting for over a year for that one thing that will change everything. It's rather ironic that I'm still maintaining my belief in cliches after I've proven wrong every one in existance. And why do I wait? Even if there was something out there, even if I found what I was looking for, it wouldn't last. It's not possible for me to be happy. I'm never satisfied because I know I don't deserve happiness. It hurts having to wait like this, after I know what's waiting out there- after I've known what it means to be in love. And even so, I wait. And it drives me crazy. Something has to change. Until then, I will wait.

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Wednesday, November 16, 2005

It's Song-Of-The-Week Wednesday!

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Breaking Benjamin: So Cold Crowded streets are cleared away One by One Hollow heroes separate As they run You're so cold Keep your hand in mine Wise men wonder while Strong men die Show me how it ends it's alright Show me how defenseless you really are satisfied and empty inside That's alright, let's give this another try If you find your family, don't you cry In this land of make-believe, dead and dry You're so cold, but you feel alive Lay your hands on me one last time Show me how it ends it's alright Show me how defenseless you really are satisfied and empty inside That's alright, let's give this another try It's alright...

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   Another day, another cry for salvation...

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I had today off from school, so I played Dance Dance Revolution all... day... long. So addictive. Then I played the Sims 2- what can I say? It's the guiltiest pleasure of them all (even guiltier than singing along to Genie in a Bottle while dancing to it in DDR). Next week's Thanksgiving, already? Crap. Christmas comes one step closer. I have absolutely no cash and no job so I won't be able to get anything for my friends for Christmas... not as if I have many friends anyway. Plus I have to go to Middle-Of-Nowhere, Idaho, for Thanksgiving break. I can hardly contain my utter glee. I really don't want to go to school tomorrow... maybe I'll feign illness. On second thought, that won't work... my mom doesn't let me stay home unless I have a nosebleed, fever, chronic diharrea, a concussion and a broken spleen all at once. Plus I already got my flu shot so she'll know I'm faking it... can't ditch class either, she's on the warpath cause my brother ditched yesterday. Maybe I'll just stare into space. Yeah. That's what I'll do.

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005

   Heehee.

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Ah, I love my Otaku page. Everytime I go to it there's a Gravitation banner ad, so I'm in heaven... I think my next layout will be a Gravitation one. With Ryuichi... *sigh* so cuddlesome. Hm, this calls for... A POLL! Ahem. Should my next layout (which I probably won't get around to putting up for a while) be Gravitation or Final Fantasy X-2? Either way it'll be extremely pink... so leave comments.

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Yes!

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Hahaha! I'm on the main page of TheOtaku! Victory! I wrote an article on Cardcaptor Sakura's age rating- my first article- and so far I have a 100% rating! But there's people leaving comments saying I'm against shounen-ai... uh hello? I WORSHIP Gravitation for crying out loud. Sheesh.

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Monday, November 14, 2005

So bored.

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I'm at school right now, pretty much the only place I can get online. So bored... school should die. Soon. And I didn't do my math homework and I have math next... ah well, we don't turn in our homework anyway- "completion credit", so I'll just type in random numbers. I need friends... SOMEBODY BEFRIEND ME! PLEASE!!!!

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Sunday, November 13, 2005

   Oh where oh where has my little Jeff gone...

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Oh my god, I am super sad today. My kitty cat ran away... Jeff, the enormous, 25-pound, flower-sniffing tiger of doom... he was gone for like 6 hours and I was crying... but then we found him sleeping in the biggest, thickest, fragrant-est bushiest bush in northern Nevada. I guess I'll put up a picture of Jeff once I feel like it...the picture where he's sitting on my DDR mat.

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Saturday, November 12, 2005

   Me...

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So I decided to make a new Otaku username. Why? Cause I haven't used my old one in centuries and that username only brings up memories of a time long a go. Or was it only a year? But at any rate, my new username is killer, don't you think? "Pagan," meaning unreligious/sinful, paired with "Angel," pretty much the holiest thing imaginable. A walking contradiction, just like me. So that's the reason behind the name, and with that, I declare this site open.

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